


Every Single Bit of Sunshine

by iwatsukki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Alternate Universe - Parents, Angst, Fluff, Gen, Kinda, Language, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Parenthood, Past Character Death, Rating May Change, i'm not sure yet lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwatsukki/pseuds/iwatsukki
Summary: Iwaizumi’s feet are glued to the ground--he couldn’t move even if he tried. There was something so painful, so horribly moving about the scene, and he would do anything to pick up that child and make all her hurt go away. Like he wished someone had done for him.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 59
Kudos: 207





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> I promise this is ultimately a happy fic despite the summary lol. Title is from "Promises" by Jhene Aiko.

The dim, flickering light in the hospital corridor is nearly enough to put Iwaizumi asleep. He’s still running around on his feet at the tail end of a twelve-hour shift as on-duty trauma surgeon, having completed two appendectomies and a strangulated hernia surgery, and fixing several other petty injuries. Iwaizumi had just finished the post-op debrief with the second appendectomy patient and was ready to head home before it got too late. He enters the break room to collect his things before heading out. 

Iwaizumi loves his job, truly, but sometimes he feels like it’s entirely too exhausting. He’s happy, he really is, or so he tells himself. There’s no reason for him not to be--he has a stable, well-paying job, a happy marriage, and people that love him. But there was still a hollow feeling in his gut some days. The silver ring on his left hand catches his eye as he grabs his backpack. He knows he’ll feel better once he gets home to be with Oikawa. Beautiful Oikawa, Iwaizumi’s best friend for as long as he could remember and his husband of five years. Oikawa had been whiny lately about Iwaizumi coming home earlier, but Iwaizumi thinks he has little room to talk considering how much he travels for his job. Nevertheless, the thought of coming home to Oikawa sleeping in their bed, with those long, sprawling limbs and tragic bedhead, makes Iwaizumi smile. 

The staff parking lot is located behind the hospital, so Iwaizumi has to trek the hallways of the entire building to get to his car. As he approaches the oncology unit, he hears the unmistakable cries of a child and his stomach drops. Morbidly curious, he walks past the patient ward and peers down the hallway. 

Nurse Sugawara is crouched on the floor, cradling the head of a wailing little girl. Her cries make Iwaizumi sick to his stomach but he can’t look away. Nurse Sugawara looks up and makes eye contact with him briefly, but quickly closes his eyes again and continues to stroke through the little girl’s blonde hair. Iwaizumi’s feet are glued to the ground--he couldn’t move even if he tried. There was something so painful, so horribly moving about the scene, and he would do anything to pick up that child and make all her hurt go away. Like he wished someone had done for him. 

Doctor Sawamura, one of Iwaizumi’s work acquaintances, emerges from one of the patient rooms and rubs Sugawara’s back briefly before heading to his office. He looks terribly exhausted--more so than he would after an average shift. Sawamura gives Iwaizumi a nod of resignation as he passes him, but Iwaizumi can’t help but grab his arm to stop him. 

“Doctor Sawamura, who’s child is that?” he whispers. 

Sawamura takes a deep breath before speaking, like he’s trying to figure out the best way to word what he’s about to say. “We just lost a patient in the unit a few hours ago, somewhat unexpectedly. We thought she had at least six more months,” he says, “the girl is her daughter.” 

Iwaizumi’s eyes burn, and he cringes when the little girl’s cries become louder. Her face is buried in Nurse Sugawara’s shoulder and her little hands are grasping desperately at his scrubs. “What’s going to happen to her?” 

“Not sure. We’ve yet to locate next of kin...if we don’t find anyone then she’ll end up in the system.” 

Iwaizumi is lost for words. Sensing the conversation was over, Sawamura pats him on the back before heading to his office. He works at a hospital, he has years of experience in the medical field, as a student and as a practitioner, so why couldn’t he shake this feeling of sorrow? During medical school, his instructors drilled into his head that sometimes the loss of a patient was inevitable and that you had to move past it. As a trauma surgeon, Iwaizumi has had his fair share of losses during his time at work. He had learned to move past it, probably not as much as he should, but he had gotten a lot better since he was a resident. So why couldn’t he shake the dread in his chest, when it wasn’t even his patient who was lost?

He comes to his senses when he hears Nurse Sugawara’s quiet words of comfort to the little girl, and forces himself to walk away before it seems odd he was there. If it didn’t seem odd already. 

Iwaizumi unlocks his car when he gets to the lot and starts the engine, but he struggles to get himself to drive off. Although he was awkward with them, Iwaizumi had liked kids for as long as he could remember. He was nearly as happy as Oikawa, if not happier, when Oikawa’s nephew was born. Takeru was quite a bit older than the little girl inside, but Iwaizumi’s heart twisted at children no matter the age. Sometimes he regretted not specializing in pediatrics. 

He spaces out the entire drive home, his body on autopilot as he unlocks the front door and gets ready for bed. It’s late and Oikawa is already asleep, but once Iwaizumi sees him the tension he didn’t even know he was holding in seeps out of his pores, and he feels like he can breathe for the first time in twelve hours. Iwaizumi pulls back the covers and Oikawa makes a noise of protest at the rush of cool air, and snuggles into Iwaizumi’s warmth before he could even lay all the way down. 

“Mmm, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa hums, “so warm.” 

The ache in Iwaizumi’s chest subsides at Oikawa’s voice, and he feels the exhaustion take him into a dreamless sleep. 

\----

Iwaizumi finds himself reaching out for Oikawa even before he’s even fully awake, but is sorely disappointed when he finds nothing but cold sheets next to him. He doesn’t want to be in a grumpy mood today, not when he and Oikawa both have the day off and could enjoy each other’s company. Iwaizumi knew that he was extra needy in the mornings for Oikawa, and he’s overcome with an overwhelming urge to be near his husband. 

He figures Oikawa couldn’t have gone far, so he pulls himself out of bed and into the bathroom to wash up. When Iwaizumi looks in the mirror, he can’t help but poke at his dull skin, and cringe when he sees the dark circles under his eyes. He’d slept fairly well, so he thought the exhaustion evident in his face would have faded. Sighing, he brushes his teeth and heads to the kitchen. 

Oikawa is at the stove, long and lean and gorgeous in the morning light. He’s only his boxers and Iwaizumi instinctually wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him in for a hug from behind. His cheek pressed against the back of Oikawa’s neck, he breathes in, smelling the citrus shampoo that lingered in his messy hair, and the embrace releases some of the tension straining his muscles. Iwaizumi presses a kiss to Oikawa’s cheek before putting the kettle on to make tea. 

“I hope you’re hungry, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, “‘cause I think I made way too much food.” 

Iwaizumi smiles, but doesn’t say anything. The kettle whistles so Iwaizumi pours two cups of tea for them, and sits down at the kitchen table. Oikawa sets a plate of egg scramble in front of Iwaizumi and sits across from him, wasting no time to dig into his own food. Iwaizumi didn’t have much of an appetite. 

“You’re not eating,” Oikawa observes, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just tired from my shift yesterday. I had quite a few patients that needed operations.” 

“Well cheer up, Iwa-chan! Takeru is coming over today for a couple hours, remember?”

Fuck. Iwaizumi definitely did _not_ remember. “You totally forgot, didn’t you,” Oikawa teases. 

“Did not,” Iwaizumi says. 

Oikawa’s phone starts to ring, but he pecks Iwaizumi on the nose before answering. “Hello?” 

Iwaizumi is only partially listening to what Oikawa is saying on the phone, too lost in thought. He is excited to see Takeru, he always is, but today he sort of just wanted to lay around with Oikawa and do nothing all day. He’s thoroughly exhausted--emotionally and physically, and Takeru has a lot of energy. 

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa calls, mildly irritated. Iwaizumi isn’t sure how many seconds had passed since Oikawa answered the phone. “Did you hear me?” 

“No, sorry, what did you say?” 

“I _said_ that my sister called and they’re already on their way,” Oikawa says, “so we need to start getting ready!” 

Oikawa puts their plates in the sink and heads to the bedroom to change. They get ready quickly and the door rings before they even know it, but Iwaizumi still can’t get his head out of the clouds. Oikawa must have noticed, because he pulls Iwaizumi into a hug before answering the door. “I know something is wrong that you’re not telling me, Iwa-chan, but will you talk to me later?” he whispered. Iwaizumi nods, his face buried in Oikawa’s neck. 

“You promise?” It's the softest Iwaizumi has heard Oikawa speak in a while. 

“Promise.” 

Satisfied, Oikawa pulls away and kisses Iwaizumi on the cheek before going to answer the door. Iwaizumi stands in their bedroom for a moment to collect himself. 

“Uncle Tooru!” Iwaizumi hears Takeru’s voice and knows he has to go out to greet them, despite how inexplicably his chest hurts. He peeks around the corner of the door and sees Oikawa holding Takeru in a big hug. His sister Keiko stands in the doorway. 

“I have some errands to run, so I’ll be back in a few hours, okay? Thanks for watching him, Tooru,” she says, sounding even more exhausted than Iwaizumi feels 

Iwaizumi remembers when Takeru was born, five or so years ago. He and Oikawa had just returned from their honeymoon, and they were so painfully infatuated with their new life together. They had been friends for their whole lives but things felt so different after they got married, in the best way possible. Iwaizumi wanted to spend his whole life with Oikawa and nobody else--until he held Takeru for the first time. 

Oikawa’s parents had called them very early in the morning one day and they knew what the call was for right away. Iwaizumi drove to the hospital because Oikawa was vibrating with excitement and Iwaizumi did _not_ trust him to drive. Oikawa held him first--Takeru was _his_ nephew after all. Takeru was absolutely beautiful, but Iwaizumi couldn’t take his eyes off of Oikawa when he held the baby. It was like he was glowing in a whole new way that Iwaizumi had never seen before. He had the purest, most straightforward smile on his face as he looked at the baby, which was so different from the facade Oikawa so often put on. His eyes were gentle as he looked at his nephew, and Iwaizumi couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face. 

Keiko’s voice shook Iwaizumi from his reverie. “Do you want to hold him, Uncle Iwa-chan?” Iwaizumi only pretended to hate that Oikawa’s entire family had adopted that nickname for him.

Iwaizumi took Takeru from Oikawa’s arms and cradled him delicately. When Iwaizumi reached to pull the blanket away from his face slightly, Takeru’s little hand grabbed his finger and his heart stopped. Iwaizumi’s face turned hot and there was a lump in his throat. He was taken by an overwhelming emotion that he couldn’t describe, some kind of mixture of protectiveness and powerlessness. But most of all, Iwaizumi knew that he felt intense affection. Love. 

He looked up at Oikawa, bewildered, but Oikawa kept smiling at Takeru. Suddenly, he wasn’t so sure he wanted it to be just him and Oikawa for the rest of their lives. 

Seeing Oikawa holding Takeru now, five years later, Iwaizumi feels the same. Takeru catches sight of him and his face lights up. “Uncle Iwa-chan!” 

Iwaizumi smiles and holds his arms out for Takeru, who leaps into his embrace. Iwaizumi picks him up and spins him around--he feels even heavier than the last time he had seen him. 

“Have you gotten bigger, Takeru?”

“Of course, Uncle Iwa-chan!” Takeru pouts, “I’m a big boy now!” 

“You really are,” Iwaizumi smiles, “what do you want to do today?” 

Takeru hums in pretend consideration. “Can we go outside ‘n play volleyball?” 

Every time Oikawa and Iwaizumi babysit Takeru, he begs to play volleyball. It only made sense, considering Oikawa plays professionally. Keiko once mentioned that Takeru hated to miss even a single game on TV. Iwaizumi thinks it's very cute how much Takeru looks up to his uncle.

“Only if I can play too,” Oikawa sing-songs, sauntering up to the two of them. 

“No way, Takeru only wants to play with me.”

“Yeah, Uncle Tooru! Only me ‘n Uncle Iwa-chan can play!” 

Oikawa looks completely scandalized, and Takeru sticks his tongue out playfully. Takeru clearly loved and idolized Oikawa but had trouble showing it--a trait he and Iwaizumi definitely shared, although Iwaizumi had come a long way since he and Oikawa were kids. With Takeru in his arms, Iwaizumi goes out the back door to the yard.

Iwaizumi had insisted on buying a house with a backyard when he and Oikawa were looking to move out of the city. Oikawa’s team’s practice facility was in the suburbs and Iwaizumi had taken the job at a hospital nearby after getting his license. Living in the city, Iwaizumi sorely missed being able to go outside, feel the grass beneath his feet, and enjoy the silence. 

He and Takeru toss the ball back and forth--Iwaizumi had gotten very good at knowing how to play with the five-year-old. Oikawa still tended to play at full strength. Iwaizumi doesn’t have to worry about Oikawa spiking the ball at him when he plays with Takeru, so he lets his mind wander. Babysitting Takeru was always fun, but Iwaizumi still can’t stop his mind from fogging up. Moments pass and he thinks he hears Takeru calling his name. 

“Uncle Iwa-chan! Are you even listening to me?” 

Iwaizumi’s thoughts shift back to the present. “Sorry, Takeru, what did you say?” 

“I asked why you aren’t on the team with Uncle Oikawa!” 

Good question, Iwaizumi wants to say. He knows he sounds bitter, probably because he is slightly--but he would never admit that to Oikawa. As a child, his dream was to play on a professional team with Oikawa. He would be their ace and Oikawa would be their star setter, just like they were throughout grade school and high school--an inseparable duo. That's why his heart was broken at the end of their third year of high school when he and Oikawa were scouted by different universities. Luckily, both of their universities were in Tokyo, so they wouldn’t have to be completely apart. 

Iwaizumi picked pre-medicine while Oikawa chose kinesiology. Looking back, Iwaizumi wonders if he picked pre-med because he knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t be playing volleyball beyond university. He knew that Oikawa was truly special, while he was just a run-of-the-mill wing spiker. By the end of their university years, Oikawa had been contacted by professional scouts and Iwaizumi was slowly accepting that professional volleyball wasn’t in his future. 

“I wanted to be a surgeon instead,” Iwaizumi says.

Not a lie, but not entirely the truth either. Iwaizumi remembered a certain afternoon spent applying for medical school during their last year of undergrad, when Oikawa had called him, deliriously happy, saying he signed a contract with a professional team based out of the Tokyo area. He would have to work his way up the team’s ladder, but he had a pretty good chance of being their starting setter within a few years. The team travelled internationally, so he would spend about a third of his time on the road. 

Iwaizumi bit his tongue and told Oikawa how happy he was for him, because he really was happy for him, but nasty jealousy still occupied the back of his mind. It did for a while. He was lucky in a lot of ways, but his life had also been filled with more than his fair share of disappointments as well. 

Getting accepted to his top-choice medical school definitely took the edge off of his discontent, and he realized that he could still be happy without volleyball on a professional level. The envy for Oikawa slowly receded and he was able to watch his games with less burn behind his eyes. He excelled in medical school and graduated top of his class--but mostly he was just happy he found something fulfilling. As much as he didn’t like to admit it, he always liked taking care of people--Oikawa especially. 

“Will you take me to one of Uncle Tooru’s games sometime?” Takeru asks. 

“Of course, Takeru, Uncle Tooru would love that.” 

They toss the ball for a little while longer, Takeru babbling about his team and his friends at school. Iwaizumi listened contentedly--hearing Takeru talk was always strangely relaxing for him. The sun is beating down on them when Oikawa calls them in for lunch. 

“Hope you guys had fun without me,” Oikawa pouts, but Iwaizumi knows there’s no animosity behind his words when he gives both of them a kiss on the cheek. 

“Ew, Uncle Tooru!” Takeru complains, “I’m too old for kisses!” 

Oikawa kisses him on the cheek again. “Sorry buddy, you’ll have to deal with it!” 

They eat lunch, and Iwaizumi easily eats two servings--especially after having skipped breakfast.

\---

Later in the evening, after Tooru’s sister had picked up Takeru, Iwaizumi and Oikawa are cuddled on the couch watching a movie they had both seen a million times. Usually when Oikawa insisted they watch something they had both already seen, Iwaizumi knew he was actually interested in spending their time a different way. 

Eventually, Oikawa ends up on his lap and begins kissing lightly at his neck, knowing exactly how to make Iwaizumi melt. Iwaizumi sighs and wraps his arms around Oikawa’s shoulders. 

“We haven’t had much time for this lately, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa purrs.

“Mm, you’ve been away a lot lately, Tooru.” 

Oikawa pulls away and pouts. “And you’ve been working late.” 

“True,” Iwaizumi admits before finding Oikawa’s lips for another kiss. Iwaizumi licks at Oikawa’s bottom lip and the kiss quickly becomes passionate. Oikawa’s palms rest on his chest and he brings him closer, like he can’t get enough of Oikawa’s warmth. He slips a hand beneath Oikawa’s shirt, feeling the hard muscle and impossibly soft skin. Iwaizumi feels his thoughts slowing down to a dull buzz as he tastes Oikawa, perfect and sweet. Many things had changed since they first got together, but their passion for each other hadn’t faded in the slightest. 

Oikawa’s hands travel up to Iwaizumi’s shoulders and he pushes him down onto his back, head resting on the arm of the couch. Oikawa goes back to mouthing at his neck and behind his ear and Iwaizumi shudders, feeling blood rush to his lower half. As much as he wanted Oikawa, his exhaustion had begun to catch up with him by the end of the day, and he had a midday shift tomorrow. When Oikawa slips a hand between his legs Iwaizumi wraps a hand around his wrist. “I’m kinda tired, Tooru.” 

“Let me take care of you then,” Oikawa says, planting an open-mouthed kiss on Iwaizumi’s lips. “Just relax.” 

So Iwaizumi does. Oikawa wraps a hand around Iwaizumi, knowing the perfect grip and pace to make Iwaizumi unravel. When they’re finished, Oikawa lays his head on Iwaizumi’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Iwaizumi starts to doze off but knows he shouldn’t fall asleep on the couch. He can’t be sore for his shift tomorrow. 

He sighs at the thought of going to work, he wants to lay like this with Oikawa forever. At least a few of his friends will be on shift at the same time as him tomorrow, so that should hopefully make the hours a little more bearable. He’ll probably ask Doctor Sawamura to get food with him during his break. 

Thinking about Doctor Sawamura makes him think about the little girl from the previous day. He wonders if they had found her next-of-kin yet, or if she was already stuck with child services. She was so upset--rightfully so--and Iwaizumi worried that she may be scared if she’s forced into the care of total strangers at child services. He knows he certainly would have been. 

Part of him hopes that he’ll be able to see her again tomorrow, but he knows that won’t be likely. Hopefully Doctor Sawamura will at least be able to tell him what happened to her. 

“I can tell you’re thinking about something, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa murmurs--Iwaizumi must have tensed up unwittingly when he thought about work tomorrow. Oikawa looks so pretty in the low-light, Iwaizumi thinks. “Don’t think that I forgot your promise from earlier.” 

Iwaizumi sighs, and knows he won’t be able to get out of this one. 

“If something happened to your sister, would you take care of Takeru?”  
Oikawa’s eyes snap open and he props himself up onto his elbows to look Iwaizumi in the eye.

“Hajime,” Oikawa said, and Iwaizumi knew he meant business when he used his first name. “What are you talking about?” 

There is a gnawing feeling in the back of Iwaizumi’s throat, a feeling that reminds him of being surrounded by so many people but still feeling alone, the feeling of seeing his grandmother so upset and being completely helpless to do anything. He remembers feeling like he couldn’t cry, not when everyone else around him was crying, and trying to swallow down the lump in his throat that made it hard to breathe. More than anything though, he could hear the little girl from the night prior, wailing into the shoulder of a stranger. 

“Would you?” 

Oikawa reaches up and rests a hand on Iwaizumi’s cheek. “Of course I would, Hajime,” he says, “why wouldn’t I?” 

“I don’t know, taking care of a child would be a lot of trouble.” 

“It would be, but I love Takeru and would do anything for him, if anything happened then he would be the priority.” 

Iwaizumi exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding, as if he was relieved. Oikawa was studying his face carefully, the confusion evident in his eyes. “Why do you ask?” Oikawa says.

“No reason, really.” 

\----

Iwaizumi feels much more rested the next day, thankfully--he even has the energy to get Oikawa off twice before they have to get out of bed, much to his husband’s delight. Oikawa had dropped the subject from the night before but Iwaizumi had a feeling it would come up again, especially if he talked to Doctor Sawamura during his shift. 

He’s putting on his scrubs for work when Oikawa drapes himself over his shoulders and plants one on his cheek. Iwaizumi should be used to Oikawa’s antics already, considering it's been over ten years since they’ve been together, but he still feels his cheeks heat up at the affection. “You know, Iwa-chan, for some reason you look really sexy in your scrubs. Maybe we could roleplay sometime, you could be a doctor and I could be a patient.” 

“That’s probably the worst idea you’ve ever had.” 

Oikawa pulls away from Iwaizumi with a dramatic flourish and a look of fake-hurt on his face. “Rude, Iwa-chan! Excuse me for trying to spice things up.” 

“Am I not spicy enough for you, Tooru?” Iwaizumi teases. 

“I never said that,” he says, “you should know that you’re plenty spicy already, Iwa-chan. Did I not seem to be enjoying myself this morning?” 

Iwaizumi flushes when he thinks back to the sounds Oikawa made in bed that morning. His moans were always so pretty. “It sure seemed like you were.” 

“Well I was, and I plan on returning the favor very soon,” he whispers in Iwaizumi’s ear, and Iwaizumi shudders. Much to his chagrin, he steps away from Oikawa--the last thing he needs before work is a hard-on. 

Iwaizumi grabs his keys and walks to the door, ready to leave. Oikawa follows. “You’ll probably be back from practice and asleep already when I get back from my shift.” 

“I’ll have to make it up to your tomorrow, then,” Oikawa says. He kisses the corner of Iwaizumi’s lips and pulls him in for a hug, and Iwaizumi lets himself indulge in the embrace for a moment before heading out to the car. 

When he gets to the hospital, he’s relieved when he sees that his favorite emergency room nurse, Akaashi, is on duty. Nurse Akaashi wasn’t overbearing, like many of the people in Iwaizumi’s life, and worked hard. There aren’t any ongoing emergencies when he arrives, which is a relief. He’s hanging around the nurse’s station a couple hours into his shift when Akaashi sits down to enter some data in the computer. Iwaizumi watches him start to type and notices a ring on his left hand, encrusted in what must be very expensive stones. 

“Hey, Nurse Akaashi, can I ask you a question?” 

Akaashi doesn’t look up from the screen. “Sure, Doctor Iwaizumi.” 

“Do you have any kids?” 

Akaashi stops typing for a moment, like he’s thinking of what to say, but then resumes his work. “I don’t, at least not right now,” he responds, “although my partner and I have been thinking about it lately.” 

“Which one of you brought it up first?” 

When Akaashi doesn’t respond after a few moments, Iwaizumi is worried he’s crossed a line. He starts to apologize but he gets cut off. 

“My partner did. We hadn’t talked about it before, but I had a feeling that he was going to say something pretty soon anyway,” he says. Iwaizumi doesn’t respond right away, lost in thought. “May I inquire into why you ask, Doctor Iwaizumi?” 

“I’ve just been thinking about it lately, I guess. But I haven’t brought it up to my husband,” he responds, “I know I need to talk to him about it soon, but I’m not sure how he’ll react...we both work a lot so he might be reluctant. And I’m not sure how much he wants a kid of his own in general.” 

“But you want a child, right Doctor Iwaizumi?” 

Iwaizumi wants to say yes immediately, like he’s known the answer to that question for his whole life, but he forces himself to consider his answer first. The thought of having a child, raising a kid together with Oikawa, makes him feel warm with happiness, but he also knows that it wouldn’t be easy. They would have to make a lot of changes--Iwaizumi would need to cut back on his hours to take care of the kid, since Oikawa is obligated to stick to his team’s schedule. They would have far less time to spend alone with each other, and he knows Oikawa would be very reluctant to give that up. Despite his better judgement, Iwaizumi nods in affirmation. Akaashi sighs, but there’s a small smile on his face. “I’m sure your husband loves you very much, and that won’t change. Don’t be afraid to ask him.”

Nurse Akaashi closes the laptop and stands up, bowing before heading to another patient’s room and leaving Iwaizumi at the station, lost for words. 

\---

Iwaizumi has to perform a few short procedures before he gets to take a break. He walks over to the oncology unit to find Doctor Sawamura but stops to look down the hallway where he saw Sugawara and the girl a couple days before. Unsurprisingly, the hallway is empty. It must be a quiet day for everyone. 

Doctor Sawamura’s office door is ajar, but Iwaizumi knocks a couple times as a courtesy. Sawamura looks like a dead man walking, even worse than Iwaizumi looked yesterday. He looks up at Iwaizumi, deadpan. 

“You look like you need a break, Sawamura.” 

“I do,” he says, rubbing at his eyes. Iwaizumi gestures out into the hallway and Sawamura sighs in resignation before standing up from his desk. Iwaizumi buys them both coffees from the cafeteria and they sit down in the break room. 

“How are you holding up?” Iwaizumi asks, hoping that Sawamura knows what he’s referring to. Based on the hollow look in Sawamura’s eyes, he does. 

“I’m fine, I guess. It’s not like I’ve never lost a patient before,” he says. “This one is tough though because Suga is personally invested in the situation.” 

“Suga?” 

Sawamura looks at him like he’s stupid. “Nurse Sugawara. We’re together,” he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Realization dawns on Iwaizumi when he thinks back to Sawamura comforting Sugawara the other day. 

“Oh… why is he personally invested?” 

“He had grown close with the patient and her daughter since they had been around so much, and wanted to make sure that proper arrangements were made for the daughter before her mother passed. But since we lost her much earlier than expected, he’s worried about what’s going to happen to her daughter.” 

Iwaizumi sips at his coffee and tries to ignore the slight tremor in his hands. “Are there no relatives to take her?” 

“The patient was a single mom, both her parents are deceased, and she didn’t have any siblings--so it's not looking good,” Sawamura says. “She’ll be in the care of child services for now, so we can only pray that things turn out okay for her. I think she just turned two.” 

“She’s such a sweet girl and Suga wants to take her so badly,” he sighs, “but our son is a similar age and we have our hands full already, so we wouldn’t be able to give her the care she needs. She was assigned a very picky case worker, so I don’t think she’ll get placed in a bad home...but that might mean that she’ll be without a family for a while. It’s such an awful age for her to lose her mother. She understands her surroundings well, but she’s afraid of strangers and wants to cling to her mother. It’s going to be a challenge for her to build trust with someone new, especially since she’s shy to begin with. It’s a miracle that she’s comfortable enough with Suga to let him comfort her like he did.” 

Iwaizumi isn’t sure if he can speak, not with the way his heart pounds and eyes burn. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it again, and takes another sip of coffee instead. Sawamura stares at his cup, looking even more exhausted than before. When he finally musters the courage to speak, Iwaizumi asks the question that’s been on his mind since the moment he saw her the first time. “What’s her name?” 

“Yachi Hitoka.” 

\----

Iwaizumi was right in his prediction that Oikawa would be asleep already when he got home from work. When he was younger, Oikawa would stay up late, watching volleyball scouting tapes or practicing his serves, and no amount of scolding from Iwaizumi could convince him to get some rest. Iwaizumi was definitely grateful that his habits had changed. 

Practice must have been especially exhausting, Iwaizumi thinks, considering that Oikawa didn’t stir in the slightest when Iwaizumi crawled into bed. That doesn’t stop him, however, from hugging Oikawa tight to his chest, and his heart squeezes when Oikawa let out an unknowing, contented sigh. 

Overall, Oikawa is a silly person. He’s rarely serious, at least outwardly, but he’s extremely dedicated to the things he loves. Iwaizumi knows that Oikawa loves him more than anything. Akaashi is right, he thinks. He’ll talk to Oikawa tomorrow, and he won’t be nervous. 

\----

He’s extremely nervous. Oikawa is sprawled out on the couch, humming to himself and scrolling on his phone when Iwaizumi wakes up and heads into the living room, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Meanwhile, Iwaizumi is trying to control his thundering heartbeat and slow his breathing. He could put off talking about it, but Oikawa is leaving tonight for an away game and will be away for a couple days. It’s not something he wants to talk about over the phone, and he doesn’t think he can stand waiting for Oikawa to get back. 

Iwaizumi sits down in the armchair next to the couch. He’s not sure how to word what he wants to say. 

“Tooru, I think I want a kid,” he blurts, “...of our own.”

Fuck. That went a lot smoother in his head. 

Oikawa stills, sets down his phone, and looks straight at Iwaizumi. His stare seems blank, but Iwaizumi knows him well enough to know that the look in his brown eyes is calculating. “Is that why you asked me about Takeru the other day?” 

It’s not the response that Iwaizumi wanted, but he also knew better than to expect Oikawa to agree immediately and leap into his arms in unrestrained glee. 

“Yes… did you see this coming?” 

Oikawa’s gaze softens. “A little bit,” he admits. “I knew you had to be thinking about something serious to ask me something like that. Where is this coming from all of a sudden, Hajime? We haven’t really talked about it before.” 

“It’s just,” he starts, voice catching in his throat. “There was this little girl at the hospital yesterday, she was crying and one of the nurses was comforting her, so I asked Sawamura from oncology what happened and he told me that her mother had died, much earlier than they expected.” 

“The way she was crying... god, it reminded me of me from way back. I know how she’s feeling, at least I think I do, but she doesn’t have any relatives to take her in,” Iwaizumi’s voice shakes. “I-, I want to look into fostering her, Tooru.” 

Iwaizumi is trembling, choked up and embarrassed. It’s been way too long since Tooru has said something, and he’s starting to regret bringing it up at all. Hitoka will be fine, she’ll get adopted into a nice family with nice people, at least that’s what Iwaizumi will tell himself when he thinks about--

“Hajime,” Oikawa says, gentle. Iwaizumi looks up and Oikawa is holding his arms out for him, and relief floods his veins. He nearly throws himself into Oikawa and Oikawa combs through his hair with fingers, knowing how it relaxes Iwaizumi. “It was probably really hard to bring this up, but thank you for telling me, Hajime.” 

Oikawa doesn’t speak for another moment but Iwaizumi is still nervous so he rushes to fill the silence. “It would be awhile before anything would really happen, and even if we applied to foster her we could still back out at any time, so it’s okay we end up changing our minds later-” 

“I’m not opposed,” Oikawa says, and Iwaizumi’s muscles tense. “I’m not, Hajime, I promise,” Oikawa comforts. “Can I think about it for a little?” 

“Of course,” Iwaizumi breathes, slightly relieved, sinking further into Oikawa’s arms. They sit together in silence, though the quiet is much more comfortable than before. It’s like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulder, and Iwaizumi feels so much better already even if Oikawa ends up saying no to him. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he hadn’t brought it up. Oikawa trails a finger along Iwaizumi’s jaw, tilting his chin up so they can look at each other. 

Oikawa’s chocolate brown eyes are tender and gentle, and god, Iwaizumi loves him so much. He surges up to take his lips in a kiss--close-lipped but passionate. Oikawa takes his face in his hands and his palms sear against Iwaizumi’s skin. They draw each other even closer together, if that was possible, and Iwaizumi hopes that Oikawa can feel the love that he’s pouring into the kiss. 

\----

Iwaizumi drives Oikawa to the airport for his trip before his evening shift. The drive is quiet but not uncomfortable. Iwaizumi is anxious to get to the hospital for once, hoping that Sugawara is on duty so they could talk about Hitoka. Oikawa is staring sleepily out of the passenger window. Iwaizumi was always jealous of how easily he could fall asleep, anytime and anywhere. 

They hadn’t talked much about the fostering situation much after their initial conversation, but it wasn’t like Iwaizumi was expecting Oikawa to want to talk about it as much as he did. He figures Oikawa needs some time, and hopes that their short time apart gives him some space to think--because Iwaizumi wanted to start the process as soon as possible. He drives around to the terminal and puts the car in park. 

“Have a good trip, Tooru,” he says. Oikawa looks at him with the same gentle look in his eyes that he had earlier in the day, and Iwaizumi’s heart twists with affection. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Hajime.” Oikawa leans across the passenger seat to kiss Iwaizumi, featherlight. “I’ll text you when I land.” He gets out of the car and waves to Iwaizumi before walking into the airport. Iwaizumi sighs and puts the car in drive again to go to the hospital. 

Iwaizumi sees Sugawara on his way out as he goes to clock in. He looks as tired as he did the day Iwaizumi saw him with Hitoka. 

“Nurse Sugawara!” Iwaizumi calls “Doctor Sawamura told me about Yachi Hitoka.” 

Sugawara runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Yeah, he mentioned that you were curious about her.” 

“Um, is there any update on her situation?” 

“Not really,” he says, “she’s with child services right now and will be entered into the foster system unless a relative miraculously appears, which doesn’t seem likely.” 

“I see,” Iwaizumi sighs; he has to pause and muster the courage to continue speaking. “Would you know how to apply to foster her?” 

Sugawara eyes him skeptically, sizing him up, and Iwaizumi feels thoroughly judged. “Are you serious about this?” 

“Yes, I am.” 

Sugawara blinks at him, but eventually exhales in acquiescence. “Daichi has your number, right? He’ll text you the number for her case worker.”


	2. 02

It’s an easy flight, thankfully, considering the away games weren’t too far away. Oikawa is always grateful when their games were still in Japan, he was getting too old for constant international flights. He sends Iwaizumi a quick text that he landed safely and climbs onto the hotel shuttle. It’s a short ride--the team usually books hotels close to the airport. 

The hotel lobby looks the exact same as all the other hotel lobbies that he’s been to. The receptionist straightens up when she sees him.

“I have a reservation for Oikawa,” he says, giving her his trademark smile. She blushes furiously and types away on her computer. He can only imagine how hard Iwaizumi would be rolling his eyes at him right now. 

“Yes, Oikawa-san, here is your room key. Breakfast is served between seven and nine.” 

Oikawa smiles again, takes the key, and heads to the elevator, but someone leaps into his path. 

“Oikawa-kun!” 

“Bokkun, I see you’ve arrived as well.” 

“Mhm! Want to head to the hotel bar for a while?” 

Bokuto and Oikawa had joined the team around the same time, and Oikawa assumed that his enthusiasm and boisterous attitude would subside once he settled into his place on the squad. Now he was the team’s clear ace, but he was still as energetic as ever. Normally Oikawa might find someone like him obnoxious, but they had developed a nice friendship since joining the team.

“Sure, let me just settle in upstairs and I’ll meet you down there.” 

\----

“I think ‘Kaashi is mad at me.” 

Bokuto and Oikawa sit at the bar, each sipping on their drinks, and Bokuto sounds more dejected than Oikawa’s ever heard him. His enthusiasm from a few minutes prior must have been a front. 

“Why do you say that?”

“I kinda brought something up to him a little while ago and he told me we would talk about it later but we haven’t, and I dunno, he’s just been quiet lately.” 

Bokuto has gushed over his partner Akaashi nonstop since they first joined the team, about how pretty and smart and perfect he is, and how he’ll always be Bokuto’s favorite setter. Oikawa’s fragile ego told him that must have been an overstatement, and that Bokuto would surely change his mind once he and Oikawa got comfortable playing together. 

Oikawa had met Akaashi one time after one of the games; Bokuto insisted on introducing him to all of his teammates. He had to admit that Akaashi was just as pretty as Bokuto had described him, almost as pretty as Oikawa himself. Almost. There was something very likable about Akaashi, as quiet and reserved as he was, and Oikawa could tell by the way he and Bokuto looked at each other that they were hopelessly in love. 

“First of all, Keiji-chan is always quiet,” Oikawa says, sipping on his drink. He scrunches up his face at the bitter taste--he had never liked alcohol all that much. “Plus, I don’t think it's possible that he’s mad at you. He’s obsessed with you and you know it, Bokkun.” 

“I guess so.” 

“What did you ask him about anyway?” 

“Don’t laugh at me ‘kay?” Bokuto says. Oikawa raises an eyebrow at him and he huffs. “I told him that I wanted to have a kid.” 

Oikawa isn’t sure what to say, so he doesn’t say anything. With how talkative Bokuto is, he knows he’ll volunteer more information on his own. 

“It’s just, I’ve always wanted one, you know? And when me and ‘Kaashi got together it only made me want one more--don’t you think it sounds fun? Having a kid?” 

“I suppose it does.” 

“We had talked about it a little before, but we’re settled down now and it feels like the time is right. It’s not like he reacted badly when I mentioned it, but he’s been kinda weird ever since.” 

Bokuto looks more nervous than Oikawa has ever seen him, biting at his nails and tapping his foot relentlessly on the ground, and it reminds him of how Iwaizumi had been acting the past few days. He pats him on the back in attempts to comfort him. 

“He probably just needs time to think about it. Having a kid is a major decision, right Bokkun? Just give Keiji-chan some time.” Oikawa says, and the small smile on Bokuto’s face looks much better than his anxious expression from the moment prior. 

“Now cheer up, we have a game to win tomorrow!” Oikawa clinks his glass against Bokuto’s and takes another sip. “Also, I would never laugh at you for something like that, Bokkun! I thought you knew me better than that.” 

\----

The team wins easily. The game was later in the day, so they’re set to fly out the next morning rather than the same night, which Oikawa is grateful for. It's not like he isn’t excited to get home, he just feels that another night to think wouldn’t be so bad. He’s going to say yes to Iwaizumi, he’s already decided, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not worried. Oikawa plops down on his hotel bed and lays on his back. 

The thought of having a child with Iwaizumi is definitely appealing, and although he’s considered it before, he didn’t think it would be happening for at least a couple years. In his mind, Oikawa would have already retired from professional volleyball and maybe started his own club, teaching kids how to play the game like he did back in high school. Iwaizumi would be fully established at the hospital and hopefully in a better place emotionally--Oikawa wasn’t blind to the hollowness that resided in Iwaizumi’s eyes when he thought Oikawa wasn’t looking. _Then_ they would have a child. 

At the same time, Oikawa sees how Iwaizumi lights up when he’s with Takeru, how happy he looks and how he smiles when he gets to see him. Takeru isn’t even his own nephew, but he’s clearly devoted to being the best uncle that he can be. When Oikawa feels inexplicably happy when he, Iwaizumi, and Takeru are together, he knows what that means for them instinctually. Keiko has even told Oikawa multiple times how good Iwaizumi is with her son.

Oikawa’s phone rings and he rolls over to check who’s calling. Speak of the devil. 

He takes the call and presses the phone to his ear, but has to pull it away when he hears a shrieking voice coming through the receiver. “Uncle Tooru!” 

“Isn’t it past your bedtime, Takeru-chan?” 

“Momma let me stay up to watch your game!”

“Ha, she did? What did you think?” 

“You were pretty good, I guess,” Takeru bluffs. “You gotta teach me how to do a setter’s dump when you come back, ‘kay?” 

“Only if you let me play with you and Uncle Iwa-chan next time,” Oikawa huffs, but there’s no resolve behind his playful words. He can hear Keiko chiding Takeru gently in the background of the call. 

“Momma says I have to go to bed now, but can I come over to see you and Uncle Iwa-can soon?” 

“Of course you can, Takeru-chan. I think it’s time for you to go to sleep now, though,” he says, “love you bud, sleep well.” 

“Love you too Uncle-Tooru, here’s momma.” 

Oikawa can faintly hear Keiko saying goodnight to Takeru and closing his door. “Hopefully he isn’t too excited to sleep.” 

His sister’s familiar voice sounds through the receiver. “No way, you should have seen him dozing off during the game. He was trying so hard to stay awake--it was pretty cute.” 

A feeling suspiciously resembling melancholy makes Oikawa’s chest hurt, and he knows Keiko hears him sigh. 

“Something wrong, Tooru?”

“Mm, just missing Iwa-chan I guess… can I ask you a question, Keiko?” 

She hums in agreement. “Do you regret having Takeru?” 

Keiko laughs. “I’m sort of offended that you’d even say that, Tooru. Of course I don’t, why do you ask?” 

“I don’t know, I mean you’re taking care of him on your own and that has to be a lot of work…” 

“It is but it’s worth it, and you already knew that. What’s this really about?” 

“Iwa-chan told me he wants to apply to be foster parents.” 

Keiko doesn’t say anything, which Oikawa knows is a prompt to continue. “He told me that there was a patient that died suddenly in the oncology unit at his hospital, so they didn’t have time to make arrangements for her daughter. There apparently aren’t any relatives to take her, so Iwa-chan wants to try and foster her.” 

“I see. I don’t have to tell you that this is probably personal for him, do I?” 

“No, no, of course not. I understand that… I’m going to tell him that I’m willing to try it out, but I just didn’t think something like this would happen until later. I still have quite a few years left on the team, and we both work so much…” Oikawa trails off. 

“I get it, Tooru. There’s no harm in at least applying, but don’t go too far if you’re ready to be one-hundred percent invested. Otherwise it’s not fair to Hajime, and it’s certainly not fair to that little girl.” 

Their conversation lapses into something more casual and Oikawa starts yawning, so he says goodbye. He struggles to fall asleep despite how tired he is, which is unusual for him. These days, he’s out like a light whenever he closes his eyes. Iwaizumi always tells him how jealous he is that he sleeps so easily. Iwaizumi had never been a good sleeper, especially when they were kids. He still grapples with insomnia sometimes, but since he and Oikawa got together he’s been a much better sleeper. Oikawa misses him and wishes they were together, Iwaizumi’s legs tangled with his and his steady breaths puffing against his bare skin. 

Oikawa starts to feel sleepy, but makes sure to send Iwaizumi a text before he dozes off. _Sleep well, Iwa-chan. I’m excited to see you tomorrow._

\----

For once, Oikawa is the one coming home to a sleeping Iwaizumi--normally it’s the other way around. It’s not even noon so Iwaizumi must be coming off a late shift. His limbs are sprawled in all directions on the couch and he looks horribly uncomfortable, but Oikawa has to admit that his furrowed brow is pretty cute. He’s about to carry him to bed when he spots a stack of paperwork on the kitchen table. 

Oikawa flips through it--it's a foster care application. Something akin to anger rushes through him but he quickly tamps it down. He’s a little irritated that Iwaizumi would try to move forward with the paperwork without talking to him. Oikawa only agreed to think about it, not to actually apply. He feels a little stupid for being angry, considering he was going to agree already. The paperwork is half-filled out, like Iwaizumi had started to complete it but got too tired and stopped.

Oikawa is willing to bet that’s what actually happened. He sighs, resigned, and goes to pick up Iwaizumi, but he resists when Oikawa tries to slip his arms beneath him. 

“Iwa-chan, come on, you’ll be grumpy later if you stay sleeping on the couch.” 

Iwaizumi grunts and burrows further into the couch cushions. Determined, Oikawa puts a little more force behind his actions and manages to pick Iwaizumi up in bridal style. Iwaizumi snuggles into Oikawa’s chest instead, and he knows that Iwaizumi would be so embarrassed if he knew what he was doing. Cute, Oikawa thinks. 

He lets himself be carried into the bedroom. Oikawa sets him down gently and pulls a blanket over him, knowing that Iwaizumi tends to get cold. With Iwaizumi sufficiently tucked in, Oikawa picks up the stack of paperwork and starts to finish filling it out. Against his better judgement. 

It’s extensive--requesting all kinds of personal information, pay stubs, criminal history. Filling them out must take him longer than he realizes, because Iwaizumi staggers out of the bedroom after a while, his eyes still sleepy. 

“Good afternoon, Iwa-chan.” 

“Welcome back, Tooru.” Iwaizumi kisses Oikawa on the cheek, but freezes when he sees what Oikawa is doing. “I can explain, Tooru, I just printed the application from the child services website, it doesn’t actually mean anything--”

“It’s okay, Iwa-chan. I finished filling it out.” 

“Oh... wow. Thank you.” Iwaizumi still looks sheepish and not relieved, which Oikawa doesn’t like. “I guess now is the time to tell you that we have an appointment with a case worker tomorrow afternoon. You have morning practice, right?” 

Actual anger sparks through Oikawa this time. “Yes, I have morning practice, but I would have appreciated talking about it before you actually set anything up.” 

Iwaizumi looks like a kicked puppy. “I know, and I’m really sorry about that, Tooru. I was one-hundred percent ready to cancel if you weren’t willing to do it.” 

Oikawa huffs, his anger evaporating slightly at the apology. He stands up from the kitchen table and drapes his arms around Iwaizumi’s shoulders. “I forgive you, Hajime, but from now on please don’t make any decisions like this unless we talk about it first.” 

Iwaizumi deflates in relief. “I won’t, I promise,” he says, and Oikawa’s heart melts a little when Iwaizumi smiles at him. “You’re the best, Tooru.” 

“Aren’t I?”

Iwaizumi chuckles and pulls Oikawa in for a kiss. Oikawa had plans to go to the gym later, but with the way Iwaizumi was licking into his mouth, he figured he probably wouldn’t need to anymore. 

\----

Iwaizumi can’t stop fidgeting while they wait for the case worker to fetch them from the lobby of child services. Oikawa rubs his back in a half-hearted attempt to comfort him because truthfully, Oikawa might be just as nervous as Iwaizumi was. Iwaizumi told Oikawa about how the case worker was intimidating, at least according to the coworker that put them in touch.

“We’ll be fine, Iwa-chan. It's not like we forgot to bring the paperwork or something!” 

Iwaizumi smiles meekly at the half-hearted joke, but his brow furrows again right away. He rolls the paperwork into something resembling a tube--a nervous habit. Oikawa is staring blankly at the linoleum floor when he hears footsteps approaching. 

A disarmingly beautiful woman walks up to them. She has long black hair and an attractive beauty mark near her mouth, and all Oikawa can think about is how Tanaka from the team would be drooling over her. She’s exactly his type, at least from what Oikawa has observed from his pitiful post-game bar escapades. “Is one of you Iwaizumi-san?” 

They both shoot out of their seats. “Yes, Iwaizumi Hajime,” Iwaizumi says, arms stiff at his sides. “And this is my husband Oikawa Tooru.” 

Oikawa puts on his best charming smile, one that he knows makes most people weak in the knees. The woman, however, seems unaffected and his smile falters, if only for a moment. “Pleasure to meet you both,” the woman says in a steady voice. “I’m Shimizu Kiyoko. Shall we head to my office?” 

The power her presence holds is astounding. Oikawa glances sheepishly at Iwaizumi, but his husband can’t take his eyes off of the floor as they follow Shimizu down the hallway. She opens the door to an office and beckons them in, and they take the hint to sit in the chairs across from her desk. Neither Iwaizumi nor Oikawa know what to say, exactly, so they sort of just stare at her as she situates herself at the desk. The silence is awkward, but Shimizu breaks it. 

“May I see your application?” she asks, like it's the most obvious thing in the world--probably because it should be. Iwaizumi nearly squawks at her and scrambles to hand over the paperwork. Oikawa struggles not to laugh at him. Shimizu has to flatten out the rolled up application, and doesn’t spare them a skeptical glance as she does so. “So, how long have you two been married?” 

Oikawa speaks first. It's for the best, he performs a bit better under pressure than Iwaizumi. “We got married five years ago, but we’ve been friends since we were born, practically.” 

Shimizu picks up a notepad and starts to write something down, and Oikawa wonders if she’s shielding their view of her notes on purpose. Her mouth stays in a hard line and it makes him nervous. Apparently she’s immune to the romantic childhood friends-turned-lovers trope. 

“Sugawara-san told me that you’re a surgeon at the hospital, Iwaizumi-san, but may I ask what you do for a living?” she says, looking straight at Oikawa. 

“I’m a professional volleyball player. I play on a team based here in Tokyo.” 

Shimizu scribbles something in her notes before continuing. “And does that require a lot of travel?” 

Oikawa glances nervously at Iwaizumi. He knows he’s not supposed to lie, but he also doesn’t want to make it sound like he isn’t ever home. “Um, not an excessive amount.” 

Shimizu gives him another look but continues taking notes. She goes through the application line by line, prompting Oikawa and Iwaizumi for details along the way. It's excruciating, if only because of how long the application is and how deadpan Shimizu is going through it. Eventually she reaches the end and Oikawa is so relieved that he could cry. Shimizu sets down the notepad and pen and Oikawa assumes they’re about to be dismissed, but he falters when Shimizu leans back in her seat slightly. 

“Why are you interested in being foster parents?” 

The two of them share a look and Oikawa hopes that Iwaizumi can hear him telepathically begging for him to speak first. Luckily he does.

“I never knew my father and lost my mother at a young age. My grandparents had to move in from out of town to take care of me after she died, which took some time, so I was in a group home for a while. It's not like I was treated poorly while I was there, but it was still really hard. I felt really lonely, and lost.” Iwaizumi’s voice wavers, and Oikawa rests a comforting hand on his back. “A lot of kids in the foster system aren’t lucky as I was to have relatives take care of them if their parents are unable. I want to be there for a child that needs help, and I think becoming a foster parent is a good way to do that.” 

Oikawa runs his fingers over the knobs of his spine. He’s lost in thought for a moment before he realizes that they’re waiting on him to speak. 

“Uhh, I’ve always known that I wanted to be a parent, eventually, and I know it's something Hajime really wants. My sister is a single mother, so we help take care of my nephew a fair amount, and I think we both love being with him even if it’s a challenge at times.” He pauses, but it looks like Shimizu expects him to say more, so he continues. “Hajime and I have been friends since we were babies, so I was there when he entered the group home, and I saw how hard that was for him--it would be nice to help a child in a similar situation.” 

Shimizu looks at Oikawa for a moment, calculating. “I see. And are you two interested in adoption down the road?” 

Iwaizumi almost says something but stops himself, and Oikawa has a feeling he knows what he wants to say. 

“Yes, we are.” 

“Alright, I’ll contact you about your application status shortly. Would you like to meet her for a moment today?”

Oikawa is confused, but Iwaizumi perks up. “Hitoka?” 

Shimizu smiles softly at them and Oikawa feels much more at ease. “Sugawara-san mentioned that you were interested in her. She’s here if you want to say hello.” 

“Yes, please. May I use the restroom for a moment first?” 

Oikawa wants to scold Iwaizumi for deciding for them on his own, but there’s a giddiness in Iwaizumi’s eyes that he hasn’t seen in years, possibly since their honeymoon, so he holds his tongue. 

“Of course. Oikawa-san and I will wait here for you.” 

Iwaizumi gives them a quick bow and excuses himself. Shimizu’s face is back to her neutral stare and Oikawa feels horribly exposed. He decides against initiating any kind of conversation, opting to wait for Iwaizumi to return. 

“Oikawa-san,” Shimizu’s voice startles him. “I’m going to recommend you and Iwaizumi-san for application approval, but I’d like to say something to you first.”

Oikawa’s stomach drops, and he gulps. “If you’re serious about being a foster parent, it needs to be one hundred percent for the good of the child. I can tell you love your husband very much and can tell how much he wants this, but I’m worried about you. If you’re not in this completely as an individual, and just going along with what your husband wants, then you shouldn’t be applying. You two are obviously in the very preliminary stages of the process, so there’s time if you want to change your mind--but if that’s the case then don’t wait too long to back out. Especially with a child like Hitoka.” 

Her words are harsh, but not inaccurate, and Oikawa isn’t sure what to say. If part of the reason why he agreed to do this was because Iwaizumi wanted to, is that such a bad thing? He wouldn’t be here if he was opposed to the idea, and he doesn’t think it's fair that she compare him to Iwaizumi who has a personal stake in the situation. Oikawa starts to say something back to Shimizu, about how he’s committed to the process, but the office door opens again.

“I’m ready to go,” Iwaizumi says, unable to hide the excitement on his face. Shimizu stands up and exits the office, with Oikawa following. Iwaizumi smiles at him, and his expression is so genuine that Oikawa can’t help but smile back. Shimizu leads them to a room with toys scattered on the ground and a few couches lining the walls. 

“Wait here for a moment while I go get her.” 

Shimizu is gone for a moment but returns, holding a girl in her arms. The girl’s face is buried in Shimizu’s shirt, so all Oikawa can see is the back of her head and her soft, light-colored hair. “There are a couple people who’d like to meet you, Hitoka-chan. They’re nice, I promise, so don’t be shy.” 

Shimizu sets her down on the ground gently, but Hitoka won’t look at them. She scoots over to where some blocks are sitting on the ground. She’s very cute, Oikawa has to say, with the flower clip in her hair and those big, brown eyes studying the toys in front of her. The dress she wears is the same baby pink color as her cheeks, and she wears patterned socks but no shoes. Shimizu nods at them. 

“Can we play blocks with you, Hitoka-chan?” Iwaizumi asks, voice soft and sweet. 

“‘Kay,” she says in the littlest voice, and Oikawa feels his heart skip a beat. Iwaizumi moves to sit on the floor with her, and Oikawa follows. He’s nervous, but there’s excitement bubbling in his stomach. 

“I’m Hajime, and this is Tooru,” Iwaizumi offers. She looks up at Iwaizumi, and then at Oikawa, and they both freeze. She studies them for a moment, sizing them up, and goes back to stacking her blocks. 

“Hi.” 

It’s like the world shifts around them--Oikawa didn’t know that he could feel so happy over a child saying a single word. Hitoka very decidedly sets a block on the ground between them. Her eyes flicker between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, like she wants them to read her mind. She looks down and sets another block on top of the first one, and then holds one out for Iwaizumi. 

“Thank you, Hitoka-chan,” Iwaizumi says, taking the block and putting it on top of the two she’d already set down. Both their eyes turn to Oikawa. 

He isn’t sure if he should take the block on his own or if he should wait for Hitoka to offer one to him, but Hitoka decides for him when she picks up another block and holds it out. Oikawa takes it and sets it gently on the growing stack. 

Hitoka smiles at them and Oikawa thinks his heart might explode. “Should we try and stack one more on top?” Oikawa asks, trying to sound as unthreatening as possible. He’s worried that one wrong word, one wrong _syllable_ will upset her. Hitoka takes another block and tries to set it on top, but she can’t reach. Oikawa is about to take the block and stack it for her, but she pushes herself up onto her feet before he has the chance. She grabs the block off the ground and places it on top of the others. Oikawa sucks in a breath when the stack wobbles, but it stays standing. 

Hitoka giggles. 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa both gasp, and Oikawa unwittingly digs his nails into Iwaizumi’s arms. He looks at his husband and sees the unmistakable shine of tears in Iwaizumi’s eyes. Oikawa feels his jaw drop--Iwaizumi very, very rarely cried. Hitoka considers the blocks for another moment, but then turns around to face Shimizu. “‘M hungry.” 

“You _must_ be hungry, Hitoka-chan, it's almost your dinner time!” Shimizu says. She speaks to Hitoka plainly, but there’s tenderness evident beneath her words. Hitoka looks over her shoulder at Oikawa and Iwaizumi. 

“Play later?” 

God, Oikawa can’t breathe. He doesn’t know what to say, she’s too sweet, and his heart breaks at the thought of telling her that they have to leave. Shimizu sweeps her up into her arms and holds her close. 

“Hajime-kun and Tooru-kun have to go home now, but maybe they’ll come play with you another day, okay? Can you say goodbye?” 

“Bye.”

Shimizu smiles gently, satisfied. “I’ll trust you can see yourselves out?” she says, but leaves the room before either of them can actually respond. Oikawa doesn’t take his eyes off of Hitoka until she disappears from view. 

Oikawa looks up at his husband, but Iwaizumi won’t look at him. Oikawa doesn’t miss the moisture that threatens to spill from his eyes. “Shall we go then?” he says, voice trembling. Oikawa doesn’t say anything, opting to take Iwaizumi’s hand in his own and lead him out wordlessly. 

When they get to the parking lot, Iwaizumi finally breaks down. 

“She’s pretty cute, isn’t she, Iwa-chan?” 

Iwaizumi doesn’t respond, but Oikawa can hear him sniffle. He tears his eyes from the concrete and looks at Oikawa and the tears start to spill over. He digs the heel of his hands against his eyes, like he’s trying to hide that he’s crying. Oikawa pulls him into a tight hug. “Hajime, it’s alright,” he murmurs, stroking through Iwaizumi’s hair. 

“I want her, Tooru,” he sobs, “I want her so bad.” 

Oikawa speaks without thinking, from the heart. 

“I do too, Hajime. I do too.” 

\----

“Damnit,” Oikawa curses, leaning his head back against the locker room wall. He’s pretty sure that he’s aggravated his prior injury, because his knee is bright red and throbbing. The initial injury happened a few years back and nearly ended his volleyball career. Luckily, he worked through it with the help of his trademark determination and a skilled physical therapist. 

It is the absolute worst time for his knee to be acting up. The team is doing well, better than they had in years, and taking home the league championship was definitely a possibility. Not to mention, Oikawa had seen some people at the last few games who he’s pretty sure are scouts for the national team. He’d heard rumors that their current setter was retiring at the end of the season, and knowing what he knows about the rest of the teams in the league, Oikawa’s chances of getting chosen for the national team were pretty good. 

Not to mention, a week has passed since he and Iwaizumi met with Shimizu and Hitoka, but it feels like it’s been an eternity--for both of them. Oikawa has been thinking about Hitoka nonstop since they met and he’s anxious to hear back about their application. Shimizu basically told him that they would be approved, so he’s not sure what’s taking so long. 

Oikawa knows that he needs to fix this before it gets any worse, so he dials a number that he hoped he’d never have to dial again. The phone rings for a while before someone on the other end picks up. “Tokyo Metropolitan Sports Medicine, how may I help you?” 

“I know it’s late notice, but is it possible for Doctor Matsukawa to squeeze me in today?” 

“Just a moment… actually, Doctor Matsukawa has a cancellation today, so if you’re able to be here in a half hour he’ll be able to see you.” 

Iwaizumi will be at work for at least a few hours, so it won’t be suspicious if Oikawa gets home a little later than scheduled.

“I’ll be there,” Oikawa promises. 

\----

Oikawa is sitting on an exam table half an hour later, still wearing his practice clothes. He’s anxious for Matsukawa to get there and tell him that everything will be alright and that he won’t have to give up volleyball for the rest of his life. Seeing Matsukawa slip into the patient room fills Oikawa with both relief and dread. 

“I thought I told you to never contact me at work again, Oikawa,” Matsukawa jokes. When Oikawa had first injured his knee, he and Matsukawa had seen enough of each other that they’d formed a genuine friendship. Matsukawa had even come over for dinner a few times. He and Iwaizumi got along nicely as well, much to Oikawa’s delight. 

“You know I would never call your office unless it was absolutely necessary, Mattsun,” Oikawa sighs. “My knee started hurting during practice today and I want to make sure that it’s nothing I need to worry about.”

Matsukawa slips on a pair of gloves and sits on a stool in front of the exam table. “Well you know the drill, tell me when it hurts.” Matsukawa gently tries to straighten Oikawa’s leg, but he doesn’t get very far before Oikawa tells him to stop. 

“Already? I barely moved it at all!” Matsukawa gapes, and dread settles like sludge at the bottom of Oikawa’s gut. He doesn’t say anything, so Matsukawa speaks first. “It’s pretty visibly swollen, so you must have strained it quite a bit during practice,” he sighs, rising from the stool. 

“For now, stay off the court and ice it. The moment, and I mean the _moment_ it starts hurting again, call me. Those are doctor’s orders,” he threatens, “literally.” 

“Mattsun, that is _not_ what I wanted to hear.” 

“Sorry Oikawa, but if you don’t rest right now it could get worse very quickly,” he says, taking off his gloves and tossing them in the trash. “What are you going to tell Iwaizumi?” 

“I’m not going to tell Iwa-chan anything,” Oikawa huffs, crossing his arms. Matsukawa gives him a disapproving stare and Oikawa knows he’s not going to let him off the hook. “He has a lot on his mind right now and this will just worry him.” 

“He’s your husband, Oikawa, you need to tell him. And if you don’t, I will.” 

Oikawa knows it's not an empty threat. “Fine,” he drawls, making sure the theatrics are clearly audible in his voice. “I’ll tell him when he gets home from work today.” 

“Good boy,” Matsukawa says, and Oikawa sulks when he pats him on the head like a child. 

Oikawa considers scheduling a follow-up appointment to be safe but decides against it, and heads out to the car. He’s not really in the mood to try and negotiate time slots with the receptionist. He’s not in the mood to talk to anyone really, he just wants to go home and forget about his stupid knee. He rests his forehead on the steering wheel for a moment before he starts the car. 

The silence is interrupted by his phone ringing and Oikawa struggles not to chuck the dumb brick out the window. He answers without looking at who’s calling. 

“Hello?” 

“Is this Oikawa Tooru?” a voice says. It’s vaguely familiar but Oikawa can’t quite place it. He grunts and hopes they get the message. “It’s Shimizu Kiyoko from child services.” 

Oikawa jolts up and nearly smacks his head on the ceiling of the car. “Kiyoko-san, it's good to hear from you.”

“I’m calling to know that you have received preliminary approval for a foster parent license,” she says, and Oikawa barely holds back a squeal. “The next step is to complete your pre-service training, and then there will be a home evaluation. Luckily we have a training group starting this week. It’ll be thirty hours of training over a month and a half, so it's a significant time commitment. Both prospective foster parents need to attend all of the sessions. I trust that you and Iwaizumi-san can make that happen?” 

“Yes, yes, of course,” Oikawa confirms. He _knows_ Iwaizumi will be willing to take time off if necessary, and Matsukawa’s orders to stay off his knee are the perfect guise for skipping practice.

“Very well. I’ll email you the training schedule,” Shimizu says. “I tried to get a hold of Iwaizumi-san, but couldn’t get through to him, so please share this information with him as soon as possible.” 

“I’ll tell him when he gets home from work tonight.” 

“Good. I’m looking forward to seeing you both at the training. You did very well with Hitoka-chan the other day.”

Oikawa thought that their meeting with Hitoka was successful, but he was surprised that Shimizu felt the same. Hitoka hadn’t been too shy with them and both he and Iwaizumi interacted with her personally, but he wasn’t sure if Shimizu had been impressed. There’s a lot that she doesn’t let on, Oikawa thinks. Shimizu doesn’t give him a chance to respond before she gives him a curt goodbye and hangs up.

There’s enough time for Oikawa to ice his knee before Iwaizumi gets home from work, so he arranges himself on the couch with his leg elevated, ice pack propped on his knee like he’s done so many times. If Iwaizumi saw him like this he would freak out--Iwaizumi has been obsessive about Oikawa’s knee since he injured it initially, always asking Oikawa if it feels alright and insisting that Oikawa take it easy when it doesn’t. It hasn’t hurt bad enough to warrant icing it for a while, but Iwaizumi doesn’t need to know that. 

Oikawa isn’t going to let anything ruin their good news. 

He must doze off thinking about it, because he’s suddenly startled by the front door opening. Peeking over the top of the couch, he sees Iwaizumi taking his shoes off at the door. He looks exhausted.

Oikawa isn’t able to put away the ice pack without Iwaizumi noticing, so leaves it on the couch in hopes that Iwaizumi won’t see it. 

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa ignores the throb in his knee and stands up. “You’re back.” 

“Yeah, I meant to text you when I was on my way home but my phone died and I forgot my charger here,” he sighs. “How was practice?” 

“Nothing special,” Oikawa says. He walks over to Iwaizumi so that he doesn’t come near the couch, and wraps his arms around his shoulders. “How was work?”

“God, fucking exhausting. I don’t I got a break for the whole twelve hours--you would not believe how bad my feet hurt--” 

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, cutting him off. Iwaizumi looks mildly offended, so Oikawa smiles softly to placate him. “Shimizu-san called me. We’re approved, Hajime.” 

Iwaizumi laughs, incredulously. He looks so happy it makes Oikawa’s heart hurt and he pulls him into a kiss. Iwaizumi smiles into it and Oikawa fists his hands in Iwaizumi’s shirt, desperate to be even closer. Iwaizumi slides his tongue along Oikawa’s bottom lip. With the two of them, nothing stays chaste for very long.

All Oikawa can think about is being ravished by Iwaizumi and he unthinkingly pulls him towards the couch. Iwaizumi sits and pulls Oikawa down on top of him, and Oikawa whines when he bites his lip. Iwaizumi starts to lay back, but stops suddenly and pulls away from Oikawa’s lips. 

Oikawa rests his forehead on Iwaizumi’s shoulder and tries to catch his breath. “Why’d you stop, Iwa-chan.” 

Iwaizumi digs something out from between the couch cushions. “Tooru, is this an ice pack?” 

Oikawa feels like somebody’s dumped cold water all over him. “My knee was a little sore today after practice, but it’s nothing Iwa-chan, I promise.” 

Iwaizumi doesn’t look convinced. “It feels totally fine now, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa lies, “it’s not nearly as bad as it was before, I probably just strained it a tiny bit.” 

“You swear?”

Oikawa takes the ice pack from Iwaizumi and sets it on the ground before taking Iwaizumi’s face in his hands, placating. “I swear.” Oikawa takes his lips in another kiss and there’s a fleeting moment where Iwaizumi doesn’t reciprocate. It doesn’t take long for Iwaizumi to kiss him back, though, and relief floods Oikawa when they get back into their rhythm. Oikawa pushes him onto his back and mouths at Iwaizumi’s neck, and if the breathy sounds Iwaizumi makes are any indication, Oikawa has sufficiently distracted him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated!


	3. 03

Tonight’s session marks the halfway point for the pre-service training. They’ve been lucky with the schedule so far, Iwaizumi has barely had to take any time off and Oikawa hasn’t had an issue with practice. Everything is going well so far, Iwaizumi thinks, as long as he can get to child services on time--his shift ended late, so he asks Oikawa to meet him at the session instead of heading home first. 

The session itself is nothing groundbreaking, but Iwaizumi still appreciates the diligent notes that Oikawa takes--he’s always loved how fully Oikawa commits to the things he cares about.. Neither of them have to get up early the next day, so Iwaizumi is looking forward to a nice night with his husband after training is over. 

The instructor lets them out on the hour, but Oikawa hangs back to ask the instructor a few questions. Iwaizumi watches him fondly from the door as the other students trickle out of the room. Oikawa gives the instructor one of his corny smiles and bows. His smile morphs into something more genuine when he sees Iwaizumi waiting for him at the door. 

“Ready to go, Iwa-chan?” he asks, grabbing Iwaizumi’s hand and walking them into the hallway. “I have some plans for you when we get home, if you know what I mean--” 

He stops talking and Iwaizumi turns around to see what caught his attention. 

He’s not expecting to see Shimizu standing there waiting for them. “Oh, good evening Shimizu-san.” 

“I was hoping you would be here, Iwaizumi-san. You too, Oikawa-san,” she says, voice as steady as ever. “Hitoka just finished dinner and I think it would be a good idea for you two to spend some time with her again.” 

Iwaizumi’s heart starts to pound and he whips his head around to look at Oikawa. He’s smiling, so Iwaizumi assumes that he’s as willing as he is to meet with Hitoka again. “We would like that very much, Shimizu-san.” 

“Good to hear. Can you two wait in the same room as last time while I go get her?” 

They nod, and find themselves sitting shoulder to shoulder on the same couch as a few weeks ago. Iwaizumi knows all of his anxious habits are manifesting, based on how furiously he’s tapping his foot on the ground. He can’t help it, he’s been thinking about meeting Hitoka again since the moment they left child services that first day. Oikawa holds his hand and rubs his thumb gently over Iwaizumi’s knuckles. 

Shimizu opens the door gently with Hitoka in her arms. “Hitoka-chan, look who’s here to see you,” she says, pointing at them. Just like last time, Hitoka’s face is buried in Shimizu’s shoulder. 

“Hi Hitoka-chan,” Iwaizumi coos, and Hitoka raises her head slightly to look at him. Something that looks like recognition flashes through her eyes. 

“Do you remember them from last time?” Shimizu asks. She still hasn’t put Hitoka down yet. 

Her voice is quiet but Iwaizumi can hear her perfectly. “Haji.” 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa both gasp, and Iwaizumi is afraid he might cry again. “Yes Hitoka-chan, that’s Hajime-kun, and do you remember him too?” Shimizu says, gesturing to Oikawa. Hitoka gives them the tiniest nod. 

“‘Ru.” 

“That's right, he’s Tooru-kun. Would you like to play with them for a little while?” 

“‘Kay,” Hitoka says. Shimizu nods, satisfied, and sets her on the ground. The same toys are scattered on the ground as last time, but Hitoka reaches for a mangy-looking doll instead of blocks. Iwaizumi watches Oikawa sit down with her first, but he frowns when he sees Oikawa wince when he tries to cross his legs. He gets comfortable with a little effort and then looks up at Iwaizumi, nodding for him to come sit with them. 

Iwaizumi sits close to Oikawa and hopes that nobody can hear the violent beating of his heart. Hitoka doesn’t say anything as she fiddles with the doll’s arms and legs and taps it across the ground, like she’s pretending for the doll to walk. 

Neither Iwaizumi nor Oikawa are sure what to say. 

Oikawa breaks this silence. “That’s a pretty doll, Hitoka-chan.” he says, reaching for one of the tiny doll dresses on the carpet. “Should we put a pretty dress on her?” 

Hitoka looks at Oikawa for a moment, but doesnt say anything and keeps playing with the doll on her own. Iwaizumi wonders if Hitoka feels as awkward as he does. Do kids her age even know when things are awkward? He’s not sure. 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa are both watching her play, a little absently, so they’re startled when Hitoka accidentally pops the foot off of the doll. Iwaizumi can’t help but gasp. 

Hitoka’s bottom lip wobbles and her eyes fill up with tears. She drops the doll on the ground and starts to cry. Iwaizumi panics and looks to Shimizu for support, but her expression is neutral. He knows this is a chance to show Shimizu that they’re capable of handling the situation, but he’s not sure what to do. Should he try and pick her up and console her? Or would that make her uncomfortable? He doesn’t want to cross a line, but--

“It’s okay Hitoka-chan, don’t cry,” Oikawa says, his voice soothing enough to even calm down Iwaizumi. “We can fix it, want to see?” 

She rubs at her eyes with little fists and sniffles. “‘Ru fix it?” 

“We can fix it, Hitoka-chan, watch.” 

Hitoka watches Oikawa with bleary eyes as he picks up the doll and pops the foot back in. “See? She’s all better now.” 

Oikawa holds out the doll for Hitoka. She must notice that the foot is back on because her lip stops trembling and her eyes light up a little bit. There’s a tiny little smile on her face when she takes the doll back from Oikawa, and Iwaizumi is so full of affection for both of them that his chest hurts. Oikawa is pleased with himself, Iwaizumi can tell, and he’s so proud of him. 

The atmosphere is much more relaxed after that. She goes back to playing with the doll, perfectly content, and Oikawa rests his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. Iwaizumi isn’t sure how long they watch her play, but he’s relaxed enough that the time seems to pass easily. 

Hitoka sets the doll down after a while. She looks at Iwaizumi before she yawns, her face pinched up cutely. Iwaizumi fights the urge to ruffle her hair. 

“It’s almost Hitoka-chan’s bedtime,” Shimizu says. She’d been so quiet to that point that Iwaizumi and Oikawa practically forgot she was there. “Do you two want to read her a story before I take her to bed?” 

“Does that sound fun, Hitoka-chan?” Oikawa asks. She yawns again without saying anything, and Iwaizumi takes that as a good sign. 

“Why don’t you go pick out one of the books from the shelf for them to read to you?” Shimizu suggests, and Hitoka pulls herself up onto her feet. She walks over to the bookshelf, where the books are displayed with the covers facing out. Hitoka grabs one, seemingly at random, and brings it back over to the couple. 

Hitoka holds the book out for them. “Haji read.” 

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen and he takes the book from her hands reverently. 

“Do you want to sit over here, Hitoka-chan? That way you’ll be able to see the pictures,” Oikawa says. Hitoka doesn’t say anything but scoots closer with her back facing them. She picks out Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss, which was one of Iwaizumi’s favorites when he was a kid. 

He’s not very confident in his reading skills but Hitoka doesn’t seem to mind. She points at things in the pictures here and there, but mostly she’s quiet as they read the book together. They’re all sleepy by the time they reach the end. 

Hitoka struggles to keep her eyes open. “I think it’s time for bed, Hitoka-chan,” Shimizu-says, picking her up. Iwaizumi and Oikawa stand up as well, their joints cracking from sitting on the ground for so long. Hitoka snuggles into Shimizu’s arms right away, her eyelids heavy. “Say bye, Hitoka-chan.” 

“Come back later?” Hitoka asks, looking at Iwaizumi and Oikawa. They both gasp for the second time that evening, and Iwaizumi knows for a fact now that he’s going to cry. 

“We’ll come back to see you, Hitoka-chan,” Oikawa says. Iwaizumi doesn’t speak--he’s not confident that his voice won’t break. 

“You p’omise?” 

Oikawa rests a comforting hand on his husband’s shoulder, and Iwaizumi knows that it’s an invitation to speak. 

“We promise.” 

\----

They’re in bed later that night, lying in comfortable silence. Oikawa’s long limbs are draped over Iwaizumi and the closeness is comforting and pleasantly warm. They’re thoroughly relaxed, sated, even, and Iwaizumi relishes the feeling of Oikawa’s hair between his fingers. 

“You were so great with Hitoka-chan, Tooru,” he says, running his thumb along Oikawa’s cheekbone. “Better than I was.” 

Oikawa pushes himself onto his elbows to get a better look at Iwaizumi’s face. “What are you talking about Iwa-chan? You were perfect with her.” 

Iwaizumi tilts his head back to look up at the ceiling. “I dunno, it seemed like you had an easier time with her than I did. You knew exactly what to do when she started to cry.” 

Oikawa has always known what to do when someone needed comforting, even when they were kids. Despite all the fronts and jokes and the facade that Oikawa put up for almost everyone, he’s always known what Iwaizumi needed. There’s a moment Iwaizumi can never forget at his mother’s funeral. He was so overwhelmed with the amount of people surrounding him, saying how much they loved and will miss his mom. There were so many feelings that couldn’t be contained in his little body and they spilled out of his eyes, but the attention from everyone was too much--he wanted to hide. None of the words being said meant anything to him, not when there was so much hurt in his chest that he couldn’t understand. 

Iwaizumi tucked himself away in a corner where he hoped nobody could find him, but of course, Oikawa found him without even trying. He could tell that Iwaizumi didn’t want to talk, that everything was too much, so he just held Iwaizumi’s hand instead. For some reason, that was all that he needed to take away at least some of the pain.

“Look at me, Hajime.” 

Iwaizumi stops staring at the ceiling and instead looks at Oikawa’s brown eyes, still shiny despite the darkness of the bedroom. “Hitoka-chan recognized you first and she asked you to read to her. What are you worried about?” 

“That I’m not going to be good at this,” Iwaizumi says. “That this was my fucking idea and I’m not going to be good enough.” 

Oikawa looks offended. “Hajime, when have you ever not been good enough?” 

Iwaizumi bristles. There are a lot of things that he could say--wants to say, even, but doesn’t. “I dunno.” 

Oikawa is clearly unsatisfied with that answer, but gives Iwaizumi a featherlight kiss on his cheek anyway. “For as long as we’ve known each other you’ve never let me get down on myself, and you know how hard I’ve tried to,” Oikawa laughs. “You were always there to hold me together when I wanted to self-destruct.” 

“I’m not letting you get down on yourself either, Hajime. You were great today, and you’re going to be good at this. And I know this for sure because I know how committed you are to this and how much you care about doing it right,” Oikawa says. “Do you understand me, Iwa-chan?” He punctuates each word with a kiss, knowing how easily Iwaizumi gets flustered. 

“Yeah yeah, I get it,” he replies, cheeks thoroughly flushed. “Now kiss me again.” 

Oikawa is more than happy to oblige. 

\----

Iwaizumi has a day shift on the day of their last training session, and he hopes he won’t be too tired later. He and Oikawa had been able to meet with Hitoka a couple more times. She’s warmed up a little to them, but Iwaizumi still worries that she’s uncomfortable with them. Oikawa assures him that they’re doing great, but Iwaizumi wants to hear from Hitoka herself that she likes them. Which he realizes is probably not a reasonable thing to want from a two-year-old. 

He buys himself a coffee at work in hopes to regain some energy and indulges in a break when things are slow. 

“Ah, Doctor Iwaizumi. I hoped I would find you here.” Nurse Sugawara sits down across from him at the break room table.

The more Iwaizumi thought about Sawamura and Sugawara being together, the less he understood. Sawamura was one of the most approachable and patient people Iwaizumi had ever met. Meanwhile, Sugawara, while always outwardly pleasant, was surprisingly proficient at lacing venom into his words if he meant business. Iwaizumi had seen him go to work with some of the more...difficult oncology doctors. Oikawa and Sugawara would probably get along well in that regard. They should probably all hang out sometime, actually. 

Unfortunately for Iwaizumi, this moment in time is one when Sugawara’s voice sends chills down his spine. “Hello, Nurse Sugawara.” 

“Kiyoko tells me things are going well with Hitoka-chan.” 

It takes a moment for Iwaizumi to realize who he’s talking about. “Shimizu-san said that?”

“Yes. She, Daichi, and I have all been best friends since high school,” he explains. His fingers are laced together on the break room table and Iwaizumi feels more and more like this is a shakedown. “It took _weeks_ for Hitoka-chan to warm up to me. Kiyoko said that Hitoka-chan has been surprisingly comfortable with you since the first time you met her. ” 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Iwaizumi says, but it comes out like a question. Sugawara is very interested in his monologue, it seems, so he likely doesn’t notice.

“Kiyoko also told me that she was concerned about your husband when she first met you two.” 

Iwaizumi tenses and something fiercely protective bubbles through him. He wants to jump immediately to Oikawa’s defense, but he quickly tamps down his anger. He stares straight at Sugawara, like he’s challenging him to speak. 

“She said that she wasn’t sure that he was completely invested in being a foster parent, that he might be going along with it because it's what you want.” Sugawara pauses like he’s waiting for an outburst, but he doesn’t get one. “Beyond that, though, she didn’t tell me anything about you and your husband specifically in regards to your foster parent application. I understand that if this situation was normal then this wouldn’t be my business, but Hitoka-chan and I have a very real relationship--I was the one who had to tell her that she wouldn’t see her mother again. I want her to have the best life she can despite having experienced tragedy. 

“Kiyoko isn’t as worried about your husband as she was before, now that she’s seen him with Hitoka-chan a few times, and I can tell that she thinks you’ll be good foster parents. I just want to make sure that the people that Hitoka-chan is eventually placed with, and her future adoptive parents, are going to be good to her.” 

Iwaizumi wants so badly to tell him to fuck off. He wants to tell him that he’s not a caseworker, he’s never met Oikawa, he doesn’t know anything about Iwaizumi’s childhood, and he’s never seen the two of them with Hitoka, so how does he fucking know what he’s talking about? He wants to tell Sugawara how fucking presumptuous it is to come for them like this.

However, Iwaizumi knows that blowing up at Sugawara is the worst thing for him to do at the moment. He calculates his words carefully and makes maximum effort to control his voice.

“I understand why you’re concerned, Nurse Sugawara, but be assured that my husband and I are taking this very seriously. If we weren’t, I don’t think Shimizu-san would have recommended us for pre-service training, and most of all I don’t think she would have let us meet with Hitoka-chan so many times already.” 

Iwaizumi can’t understand what he’s feeling. He’s definitely angry at Sugawara, but ultimately he thinks he might be confused. Why would Shimizu think that about Oikawa? And if it were true, why would Oikawa do something like only to go along with himself? Oikawa was definitely a people pleaser, but Iwaizumi didn’t think he would go this far. 

“I agree with you, Doctor Iwaizumi. I care too much about Hitoka-chan to see her end up in a bad situation, though, so I needed to share my thoughts with you,” Sugawara says. “Sorry for taking up your break time.” 

Sugawara stands up, bows, and exits the break room. Iwaizumi comes _this_ close to throwing his coffee cup at him as he walks out. 

\----

Iwaizumi stops at home after work to change and pick up Oikawa for their last training session. He comes home to find Oikawa lazing on the couch, freshly showered from practice. He’s still a little heated from his exchange with Sugawara earlier in the day, and apparently Oikawa picks up on this immediately. 

He shoots up from the couch with a scowl and walks over to Iwaizumi with purpose. Oikawa takes Iwaizumi’s face in his hands and squishes his cheeks. “Iwa-chan is an angry hedgehog right now. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

Iwaizumi tries to pull his head out of Oikawa’s grip, but Oikawa doesn’t let him. “Work was just frustrating, I guess.” 

“Well cheer up! We might meet with Hitoka-chan tonight,” Oikawa says, and the thought of seeing her placates Iwaizumi a little bit. “Go wash up, we’ve gotta leave soon.” 

Oikawa lets him go and Iwaizumi goes to the bathroom to splash some water on his face, and he changes out of his sweats. He’s a little startled when his phone buzzes, it's not like he gets many texts from people besides Oikawa. He’s surprised to see it’s from Doctor Sawamura, but the actual message doesn’t surprise him at all.

 _Suga told me that you guys had a conversation today,_ \--conversation is a generous word to describe what happened, Iwaizumi thinks-- _and I’m sorry he said what he said. He was out of line._

Another text lights up the screen. _He didn’t do a good job of communicating it, but I think he just wanted you to know that we want to help you with anything you might need if you end up fostering Hitoka-chan. We’re familiar with the fostering process and know that it can be stressful._

Oh right, Sawamura mentioned they had a son, Iwaizumi thinks dully. He types out a generic reply thanking Sawamura for the sentiment, hoping that’s enough to end the conversation. He gets a smiley face as a reply and figures that it's good enough.

When he goes out to the kitchen, Oikawa is digging around in the freezer. 

“What are you doing?” 

Oikawa nearly jumps out of his skin. “Nothing!” he says, voice too loud. He visibly composes himself before speaking again. “I was just checking to see what I could make us for dinner later.” 

He has on one of his bullshit gigawatt smiles, but Iwaizumi isn’t in the mood to pry--and he’s a little pleased that Oikawa offered to make dinner. “Alright, let's go then?”

When they walk into the classroom later, it strikes Iwaizumi that there are much less people in the last session than there were in the first. The training goes more or less as planned--as usual Oikawa takes excessive notes and Iwaizumi is very grateful for his late-afternoon coffee. The instructor gives each student a certificate of completion, but it doesn’t really feel real. Iwaizumi isn’t sure any of this will feel real until Hitoka-chan comes to stay with them, if that happens at all. Iwaizumi and Oikawa are the last to get their certificates, but the instructor pauses before going back to the front of the classroom. “Shimizu-san wanted me to let you know that she’d like you to see her in her office.” 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa share a look, and Iwaizumi’s mind jumps immediately to the worst case scenario. (“ _you’re the worst applicants we’ve had and you should never show your face here again_ ”--or even worse, “ _you’ll never be fit to be a parent so you should just give up and die_.”) Iwaizumi feels like he’s going to his executioner when they step into Shimizu’s office. 

What he’s not expecting is to see her smiling at them. Iwaizumi gulps and the two of them sit down in the chairs across from her desk. “Congratulations on completing your pre-service training, Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-san. As you might have noticed, many applicants attend the training and then realize they’re not suited to be foster parents,” Shimizu says. “The instructor was impressed with how dedicated you were to the classes.” 

“The last step before you’re qualified to foster is the home visit. You’ll want to make sure that your house is baby-proof--drawers locked, outlets covered, no sharp corners. The amount of personal effects you’re supposed to provide for the child depends on the case. With Hitoka-chan, because she’s so young and because she came into these circumstances earlier than anticipated, the situation with her mother’s estate is complicated. Hitoka-chan has some belongings, but for the home visit, be prepared to demonstrate that you’re able to provide whatever a child might need if they were to stay in your home long-term.” 

Iwaizumi is in too much of a daze to notice that Oikawa has whipped out his notebook and is scribbling down every word that comes out of Shimizu’s mouth. 

“Is a week enough time to prepare for the home visit?” 

“Yes!” they shout in unison, and Shimizu smiles again. “We can be ready by then, Shimizu-san,” Iwaizumi assures.

“Good, then the home visit will be one week from today unless you have any objections. If anything comes up please let me know as soon as possible,” Shimizu says, and Oikawa continues to write what she’s saying word-for-word, which at this point is silly, Iwaizumi thinks. “Are you able to meet with Hitoka-chan tonight for a moment?” she asks, “Or do you have other plans for the evening?” 

“We don’t!” Oikawa answers before Iwaizumi even has the chance. 

“Very good. It’s her bedtime soon, so the main purpose of having you meet is just for you to ask if she’s interested in coming to stay with you,” Shimizu says casually, as if she didn’t just throw a grenade at them. “I’ll go get her. I trust you can find the usual room on your own?” 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s jaws are on the floor and Shimizu leaves her office like nothing happened. Oikawa seizes Iwaizumi’s shoulder once she’s out of earshot. “Iwa-chan, what the fuck!” he scream-whispers. “What the fuck are we supposed to say to her?” 

“You think I know, Shittykawa?” Iwaizumi retorts, lapsing into the nickname for Oikawa that he used in high school. “Let’s just get to the room before she does!”

They scurry to the usual room like they’re hiding from someone and position themselves on the ratty couch in a way that they hope looks natural. Iwaizumi has a fistful of Oikawa’s shirt to ground him, and Oikawa is gripping Iwaizumi’s knee hard enough to bruise. Shimizu knocks on the door before opening it, and she’s holding Hitoka’s hand instead of carrying her this time.

Hitoka looks bored until she sees who it is in the room, and then her face lights up. She runs as fast as her little legs will take her over to the couch. It's so startling that Iwaizumi nearly dives behind Oikawa to hide and Oikawa almost screams and slithers up the wall. 

“Haji!” she says, pointing to Iwaizumi. Oikawa is about to pout, until she points at him as well: “‘nd ‘Ru!” Hitoka looks so excited to see them that it makes Iwaizumi want to cry. Both of them are too shell shocked to say something right away, and a piece of Iwaizumi dies when he sees the happy look on her face fade as the silence drags on. She visibly withdraws, like she remembers that the two of them are strangers, and takes a step backwards. 

Shimizu watches the scene carefully, unamused. 

Oikawa acts first, which Iwaizumi is grateful for. He gives Hitoka his biggest smile and gestures for her to come closer again. “We’re happy to see you, Hitoka-chan! How was your day today?” 

She shrugs and twiddles her thumbs, so Oikawa tries again. “Did you do anything fun?”

“Jus’ played.” 

“Did you play with any friends?”

She shakes her head and Oikawa frowns. Iwaizumi’s heart breaks thinking about her playing by herself all day. She must be lonely. 

“Do you want to come sit with us, Hitoka-chan?” Iwaizumi asks, reaching out his arms for her. He figures the small talk isn’t worth it, not with them being so nervous, but he feels like it would be nice if Hitoka were more engaged when they ask her about coming to stay with them. 

She looks at them, skeptical, like she isn’t sure if the situation is safe. Iwaizumi manages a smile despite how unbelievably anxious he is, and Hitoka takes a tentative step towards them. When neither of them move, she takes another. Iwaizumi glances up at Shimizu and her face is characteristically neutral; he’s not sure why he thought it would be anything but. Hitoka is only one step away from being close enough for Iwaizumi to pick her up, but he doesn’t dare move unless she does. 

“It’s alright, Hitoka-chan,” Oikawa coos, and she looks up at him with round brown eyes. They remind Iwaizumi a little bit of Oikawa. 

She takes the final step and Iwaizumi lifts her gently beneath her arms and settles her on his lap. It hits him that this is the first time Hitoka has let either of them pick her up and he’s suddenly overcome with pride. Hitoka is so brave to let them do this, he thinks, considering how shy she is.

“Do you like playing by yourself?” Iwaizumi asks, but Hitoka isn’t looking at him. 

“It’s ‘kay,” she says, unenthusiastic. This is their chance, Iwaizumi thinks. 

“Would you like to come to our house to play sometime, Hitoka-chan?” 

That gets her attention. She whips her head up to look at Iwaizumi, incredulous, like he might be joking. “Haji house?” 

“Yes, and Tooru will be there too,” Iwaizumi says, and Oikawa reaches out to hold Hitoka’s hand. She looks at them without speaking, and it’s the longest, most nerve wracking moment of Iwaizumi’s life. 

“‘Kay.” 

Iwaizumi can’t believe it, so he asks again. “You want to come over sometime, Hitoka-chan?” 

She starts to play with the collar of Oikawa’s shirt. He’s wearing one of those awful, ugly thrift store sweaters that Iwaizumi pretends to hate but secretly loves. Iwaizumi can’t blame her for being interested in the scratchy fabric, but if she doesn’t say something in the next five seconds he might explode. 

There’s a small smile on her face when she finally answers. “Yeah.” 

\----

Iwaizumi may or may not go on a virtual shopping rampage the moment they get home. Oikawa finds some sort of checklist online outlining what things they need to foster a child, so the two of them go through it together and barely manage to agree on what to buy. Most of the time Iwaizumi is fine going along with what Oikawa wants, at least when it comes to decor, but he _refuses_ to buy the alien-themed bedding that Oikawa begs for. By the time they finish the list, Iwaizumi tries not to think about how ugly their next credit card statement will be, or how pissed their mailman is going to be when he has to haul all this shit to their house. Iwaizumi also hopes that he and Oikawa don’t strangle each other trying to put together the furniture they ordered for her bedroom. 

As fate would have it, all of the furniture is delivered on the same day. Iwaizumi doesn’t have work today, which is good, but according to the instructions _at least_ two people are required for assembly. Iwaizumi is semi-confident in his construction skills, but he also wants to make sure that Hitoka has a bed to sleep in that doesn’t have nails sticking out of it. Oikawa is due to come home from practice soon, so Iwaizumi unpacks everything in the meantime. 

Oikawa looks the most exhausted Iwaizumi has ever seen him when he gets to their house. He drops his stuff at the door instead of putting it away neatly like he normally does and if Iwaizumi isn’t mistaken, he’s walking with a slight limp.

“Tooru?” Iwaizumi calls, and Oikawa startles like he forgot that someone else lives in the house. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, Iwa-chan!” There’s his bullshit smile again. “I’m okay! What are you up to?” 

“All of the furniture for Hitoka-chan arrived and I was about to try and put stuff together,” Iwaizumi pauses, like he’s waiting for Oikawa to say something. “Could you help me with it?” 

Oikawa’s smile falters and he breaks eye contact, but the facade is only down for a millisecond. “I’m really tired from practice today, Iwa-chan, I’m sorry. Is it okay if I sit this one out?” 

Strange, Iwaizumi thinks. At least if he does it on his own there’ll be nothing to fight over. “That’s fine.” 

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” Oikawa says. Iwaizumi watches him sulk over to their bedroom, but he jolts like he remembered something he forgot. “I’m just going to grab a snack and take a nap, I think. I’m trusting you to put the furniture together well!” 

Iwaizumi studies him for another moment and turns back to the half-opened boxes. He hears Oikawa digging around in the refrigerator before the slam of the bedroom door. Iwaizumi finishes unpacking, and there are so many random pieces of wood in front of him that, actually, he _isn’t_ confident in his construction skills. So, he does the only thing he thinks to do and picks up his phone. 

“Hello?” an exasperating-sounding Sawamura answers on the other end. 

“Doctor Sawamura? It’s Iwaizumi.” 

“Oh, Doctor Iwaizumi, hello,” Sawamura pauses, and Iwaizumi can hear him whisper something, probably to Sugawara. “What’s going on?” 

“Are you off work today?” 

“Yeah...” he trails off, and the screech of a child rings through the receiver. Iwaizumi suddenly feels bad for calling at all, but he might as well commit to asking him. 

“Uh, would you be able to come over for a while? I need help with something for Hitoka-chan.” 

Sawamura does a poor job of muffling a brief, but very heated argument between him and Sugawara. The screeching continues until Iwaizumi hears a door slam. Sawamura probably locked himself in a closet. “Yeah, I can come over. Text me your address?” 

“Sure, thanks Doctor Sawamura.” 

When Iwaizumi answers the knock on the door a half hour later, Sawamura is talking on the phone. “I don’t know when, Suga! I told you that--okay. No! You owe me, don’t be an asshole--okay. Yep. Yep. Love you too.” 

“Trouble at home?” 

“No, not really, it's just that our son has been really fussy today so Suga is kind of pissed that I left,” Sawamura says. Iwaizumi steps back to let him in. “What did you need help with?” 

“We bought all this furniture to prepare for our home evaluation, but I’m not sure I can put everything together without creating some kind of death trap.” 

Sawamura frowns at the mess on the ground. It looks like a tornado of cardboard, styrofoam, and plywood has absolutely destroyed the living room. “I don’t mind helping, but where’s your husband?” 

“He’s tired after practice, apparently, so he’s sleeping right now. I have to work for the next few days, so today is my only chance to assemble all this stuff before the visit.” 

“Practice?”

Oh, right. Iwaizumi hasn’t introduced Oikawa to anyone from work yet. “He’s a professional volleyball player. Their coach probably pushed them harder than usual this morning.” 

Sawamura gives him a skeptical look, one that Iwaizumi does _not_ appreciate. He drops the subject though, and they make slightly tense small talk as they try to assemble the furniture. Sawamura is easy to work with, Iwaizumi thinks, suddenly understanding how Sawamura stays in the good graces of the Dean of Medicine at the hospital so easily. They’ve put together half the furniture when Iwaizumi gets them both water and insists they take a break. Both of them try to hide how winded they are from the effort.

There’s a lull in conversation, so Sawamura checks his phone. “Is your husband texting you, Doctor Sawamura?” 

“Just call me Daichi, please. I get too much of that formality at work as it is.” 

“Call me Hajime, then.” 

There’s silence, like Sawamura forgot that Iwaizumi asked him a question. “Is he?”

“Oh! Yeah, he is,” Sawamura says, sheepish. “I’m going to be in trouble when I get home, I think. But honestly it’s nice to get out of the house and go somewhere besides work.” 

“It’s probably really hard having a kid,” Iwaizumi says, frowning. Is it bad enough that Sawamura really feels like he needs to escape?

“I’m not going to lie and tell you that it isn’t, Hajime,” Sawamura admits. “But it's completely worth it. When Suga told me he wanted a child, I was pretty unsure at first if I’m being honest--I didn’t know if we would be ready for it, or whatever. Suga suggested that we try fostering first, but we ended up adopting the first kid we got matched with.” 

“I thought I could never love anyone as much as I loved Suga--I mean, I do love him, of course, but once I got to know Shouyou I realized that loving a child is different than loving your significant other. It's more pure, I think, the love between a parent and a child. And probably more unconditional.” 

“Like, god Shouyou is _so_ exhausting sometimes. Even today, I thought ‘I can’t do this right now, nothing on the planet should ever be this tiring or frustrating.’ When you called me I was so relieved that I had a reason to get out of the house, but I miss Shouyou already. And it's barely been a couple hours.” 

As Sawamura speaks, all Iwaizumi can think about is how overwhelmingly happy he was when Hitoka said she wanted to come stay with them, and how badly he wants to feel that happiness again. 

“That’s a lot to unload on you all at once,” Sawamura laughs, “so I’m sorry about that. But I just thought it might be nice to hear, since you’re preparing to foster. I know I would have appreciated hearing it before we fostered Shouyou. And maybe you think I’m full of shit, or something, but--”

“I don’t think you’re full of shit, at all,” Iwaizumi cuts him off. “I appreciate it, Daichi. Thank you.” 

Sawamura’s smile is warm. “Of course. I wasn’t kidding when I said Suga and I wanted to help,” he says, “should we get back to work now?” 

“Yes, we should.” 

They start back up on the furniture and alternate between easy conversation and comfortable silence, and it's the most peaceful Iwaizumi has felt in a while. Another hour or so passes, and Iwaizumi gets into a groove. “Mind if I get another drink?” Sawamura says. 

Iwaizumi grunts and Sawamura goes to the kitchen. Iwaizumi can feel that his brow is furrowed and can imagine Oikawa smoothing out the creases in his face, warning him about wrinkles. He’s so concentrated on the assembly, he doesn’t notice the bedroom door opening. 

“Wow, Iwa-chan, the only other time I’ve seen you this focused is when you eat me out!” 

Iwaizumi looks up at Oikawa like he’s seen a ghost. Sawamura is frozen in place behind Oikawa, his cheeks burning crimson red. He clears his throat and Oikawa whips around so fast he nearly falls over. “Oh! I didn’t know Iwa-chan had a visitor!” 

Iwaizumi is at least grateful that Oikawa has the decency to look ashamed. “This is my husband, Oikawa Tooru,” he deadpans, hoping that Sawamura doesn’t combust from embarrassment. 

“Pleasure to meet you,” he says, holding out a hand. “I’m Sawamura Daichi. I’m an oncologist at the hospital with Doctor Iwaizumi.” 

“The pleasure is mine, Dai-chan!” Oikawa says with one of those sleepy, handsome smiles, and Sawamura’s face gets even redder, if that's possible. “You don’t mind if I call you Dai-chan, do you?” 

Sawamura shakes his head. Iwaizumi desperately wants this particular exchange to end, so he changes the subject. “I asked Doctor Sawamura to come over to help build the furniture,” he says, and Iwaizumi can tell that Oikawa is struggling to put pieces together in his head. “He was Hitoka-chan’s mother’s doctor before she passed away.” 

Understanding dawns on Oikawa’s face. 

“Yeah, my husband is a nurse, and got pretty close with Hitoka-chan while her mother was in the hospital,” Sawamura says, sheepish. “Kiyoko Shimizu is a good friend of ours as well.” 

“I see,” Oikawa replies, still smiling. Iwaizumi is mildly disgusted that Oikawa is putting up his usual front, even after hearing about Sawamura’s connection to Hitoka. “We’ll probably be seeing each other in the future, then, Dai-chan. I look forward to it!”

“Likewise,” Sawamura says, but his expression screams discomfort. The tension in the room is palpable. “Um, I should probably get going, I can see myself out.” 

“Thanks again, Daichi, I’ll see you at work tomorrow?” Iwaizumi calls before Daichi can fully retreat. The only reply he gets is a curt nod and a slamming front door, but it's not like he could have expected anything different. Oikawa is still standing there and staring at the ground, arms crossed and weight shifted to one side. 

“Did you have to scare him away like that?” 

“Sorry Iwa-chan, I panicked. It's not everyday you invite a handsome stranger over,” Oikawa huffs. He bites the insides of his cheek, and Iwaizumi can see his fingernails digging into his arms. “You didn’t have to call him, you know.” 

Iwaizumi scoffs. “Well I couldn’t do this on my own, what else was I supposed to do?” It’s not actually a question. Oikawa looks horribly guilty, but doesn’t say anything. “If you didn’t want to help, you could have just said so.”

“I did want to help!” Oikawa shouts, but Iwaizumi’s focus is back on the furniture. Oikawa sits down gingerly across from him and puts a hand on top of his. “Let me help now.” 

Iwaizumi looks up at him. His eyes are apologetic and shiny, and Iwaizumi’s heart squeezes. He’ll always be weak for Oikawa. 

“Let's get to work, then.” 

\----

For once in his life, Iwaizumi is pissed that his shift goes by quickly. Tonight is the home evaluation with Shimizu. He’s not dreading it, per say, he’s actually very excited. But he’s also incredibly nervous. Possibly the most nervous he’s ever been. His med school entry exams, performing his first real surgery procedure, asking Hitoka to stay with them--none of them compare to how he’s feeling right now. 

He’s at home changing from his scrubs, and Oikawa has to physically restrain him from putting on a full suit. (“Are you serious, Iwa-chan?” he had said, “we have to look like we actually live here.”) Oikawa eventually persuades him to wear something slightly more casual.

Iwaizumi is pacing back and forth in their living room, and while Oikawa isn’t doing that great himself, he’s far better off than Iwaizumi. “I’m forgetting something, Tooru. I know I am, I just don’t know what it is,” Iwaizumi says, wringing his hands. He goes through the checklist of what they bought in his head, everything is unpacked and the spare bedroom looks perfect, everything should be good, except--

“Oh my god, Tooru, I forgot the child-lock drawers,” he says, and he feels like he might throw up. “Holy fuck, and the outlet covers, and the corner guards, literally everything she told us to get, we have to reschedule, I have to call Shimizu--” 

Oikawa races over to him. “Hajime, calm down,” he says, gently cradling Iwaizumi’s face. “I took care of it.” 

Iwaizumi visibly deflates. “You did?” he mumbles. Oikawa presses a tender kiss to his lips to soothe him, and runs his thumbs over his cheeks. 

“Yes, I set it all up when you were at work today.” 

“Thank fucking god,” Iwaizumi breathes, resting his forehead against Oikawa’s. “I was about to lose it.”

Oikawa giggles. “I could tell, Iwa-chan.” 

“God, I can’t believe I forgot, am I even cut out for this at all? I almost fucked up a simple home evaluation--” 

Oikawa shushes him. “I’m sorry to interrupt you again, but you didn’t fuck anything up. It's _okay_ if you forget something, or make a mistake once in a while. You’re not doing this alone, in case you haven’t noticed. I’m in this too, and we’re going to be fine.” 

Iwaizumi pulls him in for a hug and relishes the moment. “I love you, Tooru.” 

“I love you too, Hajime.” 

The doorbell rings. Iwaizumi goes rigid in Oikawa’s hold and drops his arms. Oikawa figures it's for the best if he answers the door. 

“Shimizu-san, thanks for coming,” he says, gesturing her in. It’s scary seeing her in their house, Iwaizumi thinks, especially since she’s holding that fucking notebook.

“Good to see you Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san. Should we get started?” 

They show her each room one-by-one, taking notes along the way, and Iwaizumi restrains himself from peeking at what she’s writing. She doesn’t say anything as they talk about the house, but indulges them occasionally with a nod or hum of approval. Iwaizumi nearly dies when she checks the child-lock drawers. Finally, they’re at the last closed door..

“This would be the Hitoka’s room,” Oikawa says. They let Shimizu walk in first, and it seems like she’s writing more down than she did for the other rooms. Iwaizumi must admit that the room looks pretty cute, at least to his unrefined eye. The furniture is plain but successfully assembled thanks to Sawamura and Oikawa’s help, and there’s plenty of storage for a child’s belongings. Iwaizumi and Oikawa compromised on space-themed bedding--it was a happy medium between the strange alien print that Oikawa picked out, and the so-called boring flowery bedding chosen by Iwaizumi and vehemently rejected by Oikawa. His favorite part of the room is the mobile hanging from the ceiling, decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars and planets. 

“Were you already in possession of these items, or did you purchase them for the home evaluation?” Shimizu asks. Iwaizumi tells her that they purchased them and Shimizu starts scribbling again. “Well, I think I’ve seen what we need to see. Is it alright if we sit for a moment?” 

She settles into the armchair in the living room while Iwaizumi and Oikawa take the couch, and Oikawa holds Iwaizumi’s hand as soon as they sit down. Shimizu actually sets the notebook down on the coffee table, out of arm’s reach, and Iwaizumi’s jaw nearly drops, amazed that they’re clearly about to have some sort of serious conversation and she’s not going to write anything down.

“How are you two feeling about everything?”

Oikawa squeezes Iwaizumi’s hand, presumably as a request for him to answer. “We’re excited, I think, a little nervous,” Iwaizumi says. “We just want to make sure we provide Hitoka-chan with as good a home as we can.” 

“I see. She’s asked about coming here a couple times since I last saw you two, so I think it's important for her to have a trial night or two here as soon as possible before she starts to feel discouraged. She already trusts you two, to an extent, and waiting too long to see her again could negatively affect whatever progress you’ve made.” 

“That being said, if either of you have changed your minds, now is your chance to tell me. If I were to tell Hitoka-chan that she was for sure coming to your house, and _then_ you change your mind, it would be very upsetting to Hitoka-chan and would negatively affect your chances of fostering or adopting in the future.” 

Iwaizumi can’t stomach the idea of upsetting Hitoka, and while he definitely has not changed his mind, a miniscule, juvenile part of him worries that Oikawa has. It’s not like he’s been able to forget what Sugawara told him, especially since Shimizu is sitting right in front of them. He glances at Oikawa out of the corner of his eye to gauge his reaction to what Shimizu had said and is relieved when all he sees is a serene, genuine smile. 

“We’re not going to change our minds, Shimizu-san. Both of us very much want to foster Hitoka-chan,” Oikawa says, and Iwaizumi’s chest nearly bursts with pride. 

Shimizu treats them to a smile. “Good to hear. Are you able to take Hitoka-chan this weekend?” 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi share an incredulous look that very quickly morphs into smiles on both their faces. Iwaizumi is the one to answer. 

“This weekend is perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gotta love Dadchi


	4. 04

Oikawa is grateful that his coach is understanding and lets him skip practice the weekend that Hitoka is supposed to come stay with them, but he’s _not_ off the hook for the home game scheduled on Friday. Hitoka is supposed to be coming in the early evening and normally it wouldn’t be a problem for Oikawa to be back by then, considering the game is at noon. However, Oikawa has an appointment with Matsukawa immediately after the game. He was planning on telling Iwaizumi that there were more post-game press activities than usual, which is why he would be home later than normal. But if there’s any glitch in the plan, then he runs a big risk of running late and missing Hitoka’s arrival--which he will not let happen. 

Normally he would just skip the appointment, but he’s barely gone to physical therapy at all since he initially saw Matsukawa and he’s been paying for it at practice. For the most part he’s been able to hide the pain from the team and hopefully from Iwaizumi. It's possible that Iwaizumi had noticed something was off by now, but if he did he hasn’t said anything, and that’s fine with Oikawa. He was going to figure this out on his own. 

He figures as long as he pops a painkiller and stretches well, he’ll be fine. At least for today’s game. Just to be safe, he pulls on extra long knee-pads to hide his knee in case it swells up. 

“Hey hey hey, Oikawa-kun!” 

Oikawa doesn’t have to turn around to see who’s talking to him. “Energetic as always today, Bokkun, aren’t you.” 

“Are you copying me?” 

Confused, he turns around and sees Bokuto looking at him with a furrowed brow. “What do you mean?” 

“The knee pads,” he says, hands on his hips. “You told me a while ago that you thought mine looked stupid, so why are you wearing them now?”

“I changed my mind, Bokkun. Plus, everything looks good on me!” Oikawa improvises, desperately hoping that Bokuto will drop the subject. He brushes past Bokuto to go start warm-ups, but Bokuto grabs his wrist to stop him.

“I don’t think that’s why, Oikawa-kun. You can be honest with me.” 

Shit. Why was Bokuto so perceptive at the most random times? His cover is blown and if he doesn’t tell Bokuto now, he’ll just keep bothering him about it. It’d be nice to talk about what’s happening to someone who isn’t Matsukawa, anyway. “My knee has been acting up lately, so I’m wearing the long knee pads to hide if it gets swollen or something.” 

Bokuto’s eyes are wider than Oikawa has ever seen them. “You _cannot_ tell anyone on the team, Bokkun, and don’t tell Coach either. Don’t tell anyone at all, actually.”

“I won’t,” Bokuto promises, but his lip is jutting out like he’s pouting. “Can I tell ‘Kaashi though? I don’t think I’m capable of keeping secrets from him.” 

“Fine, you can tell Keiji-chan,” Oikawa huffs--Akaashi doesn’t strike Oikawa as the gossipy type anyway. “But no one else, got it?” 

Bokuto holds out his pinky for a pinky promise and Oikawa laughs. “Are you a child, Bokkun?”

“That’s what ‘Kaashi always says!” 

\----

It's not Oikawa’s best game, but he makes it through. He and Bokuto had some pretty good combos, which is always satisfying. Oikawa had scored the last point of the game with a dump, because why the hell not, which he knew Takeru probably would have loved. Hopefully he and Keiko were watching. 

He’s grateful he wore the knee pads, because his knee is red and throbbing when he peels them off and pulls on a pair of sweatpants. The cheap over-the-counter painkiller he took before the game is wearing off quicker than he thought it would, and based on how it looks now, his knee will probably be searingly painful later tonight. Maybe Mattsun can write him a prescription for a stronger painkiller. 

Oikawa doesn’t have time to shower before the appointment, so he slips out of the locker room as quietly as he can. Luckily Matsukawa is on schedule, so Oikawa doesn’t have to wait around too long to be seen. He knows Matsukawa will make him put on the exam gown no matter how hard he protests, so he gets it over with and puts it on before Matsukawa gets to the exam room. 

Matsukawa strolls in like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

“Hurry it up eyebrows, I have somewhere to be!” 

“Wow, do you talk to all your doctors that way?” Matsukawa asks. “Where are you going anyway? Do you and Iwaizumi have a special night planned?”

“Actually, me and Iwa-chan’s foster kid is coming over tonight for the first time, and I don’t plan on missing it.”

Matsukawa’s infamous eyebrows are up to his hairline. “I didn’t know you and Iwaizumi became foster parents.” 

“It’s very new,” Oikawa says. And very scary, he thinks, but the thought of spending time together with Hitoka and Iwaizumi warms his heart. “I’m excited.” 

“Wow, so you do have a heart!”

Oikawa rolls his eyes and yanks up his gown to show Matsukawa his knee. “Just fix this, please.”

“Holy fuck, Oikawa, this looks bad. It must really hurt,” Matsukawa gapes. Oikawa doesn’t say anything and keeps his face straight. Talking about it out loud would make it too real. Matsukawa kneels and they go through the usual ‘tell me when it hurts’ nonsense, which is unnecessary because it hurts regardless of which way Matsukawa tries to move it around. There’s a grim look on Matsukawa’s face when he stands back up. 

“I’m guessing that it's a minor meniscus tear, but I’m ordering an MRI to make sure it isn’t something more serious.” 

For the most part, Oikawa is relieved. Surgery isn’t needed to treat most meniscus tears--it’ll usually heal itself with ice and rest--and he knows this because he’s spent too many nights awake reading journal articles about knee injuries. However, there’s also a part of Oikawa that wants to jump off the exam table and strangle Matsukawa. It definitely would not be fair to strangle him, because its Oikawa’s own stupid knee thats messed up, but he’s also the one telling Oikawa that there’s a chance that its something serious. Something that requires surgery, months of rest, and loss of playing time. 

“I know you, so I know that you’re not resting it nearly enough and you’re probably lying to people about how bad it hurts,” Matsukawa says, his tone serious. “I can’t force you to stay off the court, but you’re playing with fire here, Oikawa, I mean it. I’ll write you a prescription for the pain, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to take care of yourself.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Oikawa sighs. “I’ll be good.” 

Matsukawa looks at him carefully and Oikawa refuses to make eye contact. They say a brief good-bye and Oikawa walks out of the room. He’s down the hall when he hears Matsukawa yell at him from the exam room. “You’d better be telling Iwaizumi about this!” 

Oikawa pretends not to hear.

\----

Much to his relief, Oikawa gets home in time. Iwaizumi is such a wreck that barely questions why he’s back so late from the game, and Oikawa instead spends half an hour talking him down. Shimizu sends them a text that she and Hitoka are ten minutes away, and Oikawa freaks out because he still hasn’t showered and can’t look nasty when Hitoka gets there. The doorbell rings right as he stumbles out of their bedroom--clothed, luckily. It’s a miracle that he’s not naked when they answer the door. 

Shimizu gives them a curt hello, but Oikawa is immediately distracted. Hitoka is standing behind Shimizu, pigeon toed, one hand gripping the bottom hem of Shimizu’s shirt. She has on a tiny backpack and grips the shoulder strap with her other than, white knuckled. She looks afraid, like she doesn’t know where she is, and Oikawa has to swallow down the panic rising in his throat. The anxiety doesn’t last long, because Hitoka’s eyes light up in recognition when she sees Oikawa and Iwaizumi and she lets go of Shimizu’s shirt. 

“Haji,” she says, “‘nd Ru.” 

Shimizu crouches down so she can look Hitoka in the eye, and lays a gentle hand on her cheek. “Hajime-kun and Tooru-kun are going to watch you for a couple days, alright?” 

Hitoka’s brow furrows. “Stay here?” 

“Yes, remember we talked about it this morning? Hajime-kun and Tooru-kun will take care of you for a little while,” Shimizu says, frowning when Hitoka doesn’t respond. “Unless you’d rather go back with me?”

Oikawa’s heart stops and Iwazumi reaches out his hand to Oikawa instinctually, looking for something to ground him.

“No, stay here.” It sounds final, like she’s decided what she wants, and Oikawa feels like he can breathe again. 

“Okay, Hitoka-chan, I’m proud of you,” Shimizu says, and gives her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I’ll see you soon.” 

“There are clothes and the like in her backpack. I’ll pick her up around eleven on Sunday morning.” Shimizu stands up and says her good-byes, and when the front door closes it's just the three of them. For the first time. Ever. 

\----

The trio is sits in the living room, not saying much. It’s a little awkward, if Oikawa is being honest. He’d never felt awkward with Takeru, but that was only they met the day he was born. His first thought is to suggest they play volleyball, but the one functional brain cell he has tells him that’s probably not the best idea. Oikawa figures he might as well just be up front.

“What would you like to do, Hitoka-chan?” 

She shrugs, wringing her hands and avoiding eye contact. Oikawa tries again: “We have toys for you here if you’d like--we could play with blocks, or do a puzzle, or maybe draw--” 

“Draw,” Hitoka says, looking up at them. “Wanna draw.” 

Oikawa fetches some paper and crayons and the three of them sit on the living room floor, and Iwaizumi spreads out some paper for each of them. When he hands her a crayon, she immediately stands up and runs to the wall, crayon first. Iwaizumi scrambles to put himself between Hitoka and the wall. Oikawa agonized for six hours over what color paint to use for that wall, so he’s very grateful that Iwaizumi is fast enough to protect his intellectual investment. 

“No, no, Hitoka-chan, we don’t draw on the walls,” he says, the panic obvious in his eyes. 

“No draw?” she asks, bottom lip quivering. 

“Draw over here, like this!” Oikawa chimes in, scribbling a bit on a piece of paper to show her. Hitoka looks skeptical, but walks slowly over and takes a seat. Iwaizumi sits down next to them, cross-legged, and puts his hand on top of Oikawa’s that’s resting on the ground. 

“Do you want to try?” Iwaizumi says handing a piece of paper to Hitoka specifically. She reaches tentatively for the paper and snatches it away as soon as she gets her hands on it. She begins to draw. It's all squiggles or shapeless blobs, but Oikawa is impressed anyway. 

“Haji draw,” Hitoka says, grabbing a different crayon from the ground and offering it to Iwaizumi. Oikawa’s interest is piqued--Iwaizumi is a notoriously pathetic artist. He takes the crayon and makes some squiggles and semi-shapeless blobs. They’re a bit neater, but to Oikawa they’re not even better than Hitoka’s. She carefully watches him draw for a moment, but soon swats at Iwaizumi’s hand. 

“No. ‘Ru draw.” 

Oikawa cackles at Iwaizumi’s betrayed expression, and picks up a crayon to start his own drawing. He draws some stick people and flowers, and Hitoka watches intently. She points at the picture but doesn’t say anything, and Oikawa wonders what her little brain is thinking. 

They carry on for a little while, but Hitoka gets restless. Her tummy rumbles and they realize it's dinner time. Oikawa has been so distracted by Hitoka that he just now notices his own hunger. He and Iwaizumi agree on breakfast for dinner--their favorite. 

Iwaizumi is the better cook between them, so Oikawa is tasked with keeping Hitoka entertained while they wait for dinner. He draws a blank on what they should do, but then he remembers his favorite purchase from their online shopping episode. 

“Stay here, okay?” he says, retreating to the toy box. He digs around in amongst the junk to pull out a treasure. 

When he and Iwaizumi were shopping for Hitoka, Oikawa begged for Iwaizumi to let him buy one toy, completely on his own, no approval necessary. There were common sense rules, like it couldn’t be a choking hazard or massively destructive, but none of those rules would be an issue. Iwaizumi wasn’t allowed to see what it was when he ordered it, and when it was delivered Oikawa hid the package from him. 

“We got this for you, Hitoka-chan,” Oikawa says, holding out the stuffed toy, and he makes sure to say the next part loud enough for Iwaizumi to hear. “It’s a hedgehog!” 

Oikawa can only see his back as he’s standing at the stove, but Iwaizumi very visibly stiffens, and a sinister grin curls across Oikawa’s face. 

“Edg’og?” Hitoka parrots, and her voice is so cute that Oikawa might die. 

“That’s right, Hitoka-chan. Hedgehogs are my favorite, because Hajime is like a hedgehog.” 

Oikawa had started calling Iwaizumi his hedgehog after they got married, probably because if he had called him that before, there wouldn’t have been a wedding. He always thought Iwaizumi was like a hedgehog--prickly on the outside but soft and cute on the inside. Iwaizumi insisted that he hated the nickname, that he was _not_ soft and cute on the inside, but Oikawa knew the truth. There was one occasion, during one of Iwaizumi’s more vulnerable and honest moments, when he admitted that he secretly liked Oikawa calling him a hedgehog. 

Hitoka stares at the hedgehog for a moment, before reaching out and trailing her fingers lightly over the toy’s fur. 

“Hajime is prickly on the outside,” he explains, pointing to the toy’s fuzzy spikes, “but soft on the inside,” flipping the toy over and showing her the soft fabric covering the hedgehog’s belly. “Just like a hedgehog.” 

“Edg’og,” Hitoka repeats, and Oikawa nods. “Haji edg’og?” 

Oikawa smiles, very pleased. 

\----

Iwaizumi cooks scrambled eggs for the three of them, hiding finely chopped vegetables in the eggs to make sure that Hitoka will eat it. They don’t know if she’s a picky eater, but they’ll have to learn. She can feed herself, but not without getting food all over the table and her face. Oikawa and Iwazumi probably dirty three separate washcloths trying to clean up. 

Hitoka starts to squirm in her booster seat pretty soon after they finish eating. Shimizu mentioned that Hitoka normally has a bath every day before bed. 

“I’ll start filling up the tub, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says. “Should we take a bath now, Hitoka-chan?” he says, gently. She doesn’t say anything or look at him, and Oikawa wonders if she doesn’t like bath time. He gets the faucet going in the bathroom anyway and makes sure the anti-slip mat on the bottom of the tub is snug in place. Oikawa can hear Iwaizumi talking to Hitoka softly out in the kitchen. 

Iwaizumi walks into the bathroom with Hitoka in his arms, and one of her hands is gripping at his sleeve. She looks a little bit scared, if Oikawa is being honest. They somehow coax her into getting undressed, but when Iwaizumi lifts her up to put her in the tub, she starts to wail. It;s the first time they’ve heard her full-blown cry and it’s startling--although Oikawa figures they should probably get used to it. If they’re going to foster her long-term, they’re going to have to handle her crying quite a bit. 

“No, no, no,” she whimpers, squirming in Iwaizumi’s hold. Oikawa wants to hold her and apologize for trying to make her take bath, animosity towards the stupid porcelain tub growing the more Hitoka cries. He’s about to suggest they wait until tomorrow to try, but evidently Iwaizumi has it under control.

“What’s wrong, Hitoka-chan?” he says, picking her up and cradling her close. “Do you not like the bathtub?” 

She nuzzles against him, like she doesn’t even want to look at the tub anymore. “Why don’t you like it?” he prompts, but she doesn’t say anything. “Is it scary?”

Oikawa can barely make out her nodding against Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

“It’s not scary, Hitoka-chan, I promise,” he insists. “Look, even Tooru likes the tub!” 

Iwaizumi gives Oikawa a pressing look, so he starts splashing the water around in the tub. Hitoka pulls away from Iwaizumi slightly and watches Oikawa out of the corner of her eye.

“Taking a bath is fun, Hitoka-chan! We even have bath toys for you,” Oikawa says, picking up one of the rubber ducks he’d placed in the tub earlier. “We’ll be right here with you so it won’t be scary.” 

“Do you want to try?” Iwaizumi murmurs, brushing some Hitoka’s hair from her face. Her eyes are still glassy, but she’s not crying like she was before, so Oikawa chalks that as a win. She nods, and Iwaizumi looks pleased. He tries to set her down in the tub again and she cooperates this time, splashing around tentatively. 

Luckily, Iwaizumi and Oikawa are bathtime pros, considering how much they used to take care of Takeru. Hitoka doesn’t move around as much as Takeru would, so at least they’re not constantly on guard against flying bath toys or being splashed. She gets sleepier as the bath goes on, and by the time they’re finished, she’s yawning and her eyelids look heavy. 

“She’s probably really tired,” Oikawa muses, towelling her off. “It was a big day for her.” 

“Do you think she’ll even be able to stay awake if we read her a book?” 

“We don’t know how she’s going to react when we try to put her to bed in her own room, so if she falls asleep while we read to her that might be a good thing.” 

“That’s true,” Iwaizumi agrees. Oikawa dries her off until her light-colored hair is soft and fluffy, and the two of them successfully wrangle her into pajamas and take her to her bed. The toddler bed they chose has railings all the way around it to keep her from rolling out of it while she sleeps, except for one of the bottom corners. Iwaizumi grabs a book from one of the drawers and sits on the open corner, and Oikawa sits next to the bed on a bean-bag chair that he had insisted they buy. 

It looks like Hitoka is more alert after being laid down and she kicks a bit underneath the blanket. Oikawa runs his fingers through her hair for a moment and scratches lightly at her scalp, and laughs when her eyelids flutter and her face relaxes. “Do you like your head scratched, Hitoka-chan?”

Iwaizumi watches them fondly. “You and her have that in common, Tooru.” 

Oikawa keeps playing with her hair but smiles at his husband, and Iwaizumi starts to read out loud. The book he chose, Goodnight Moon, doesn’t have much of a story, but Hitoka looks enthralled anyway despite how sleepy she is, and as the story winds down she struggles to stay awake. 

“Come get us if you need something,” Oikawa says, “we’re going to be in our room that we showed you earlier, okay?” 

“‘Kay,” she yawns, rubbing at her eyes. 

They both say goodnight to her and Iwaizumi kisses her on the forehead. She doesn’t seem to mind, much to Iwaizumi’s delight. It’s only around seven, but Oikawa wants to go to sleep already. Once they leave Hitoka’s room with the door slightly open, Oikawa collapses dramatically in Iwazumi’s arms. “I’m exhausted already, Iwa-chan,” he jokes. 

“What would you like to do, Sleepykawa?” 

“We could cuddle and gush about how cute Hitoka-chan is,” Oikawa suggests, so that's what they do. They end up in bed with Iwaizumi’s fuzzy hedgehog head resting on Oikawa’s chest. “What should we do tomorrow?” he asks, trailing his fingers along the skin of Iwaizumi’s back. 

“It might be fun to play with her outside a little bit if it's nice enough out,” Iwaizumi hums, pressing a kiss to Oikawa’s collarbone. “I know it’s only been one night, but I’ve really liked having Hitoka-chan here.” 

Oikawa can feel how relaxed Iwaizumi is, hear how content his voice sounds, and it puts him at ease. It's so much better than the tense insomniac that Iwaizumi usually is. “I’ve liked it too, Hajime.” 

Despite the relief from Iwaizumi’s good mood, Oikawa’s heart squeezes in his chest--probably because now that it's the end of the day, and he’s out of things to distract him, the pain in his knee is back in full force. 

\----

When Oikawa wakes up, he’s displeased to find cold sheets where Iwaizumi was supposed to be. He checks his phone for the time and sees that it's much later than he intended to wake up--Hitoka has probably been awake for at least an hour already. He goes to the kitchen and sees Iwaizumi and Hitoka at the table eating breakfast--it’s a perfect picture. 

“Good morning, babe,” Iwaizumi says, his expression warm. “I made oatmeal for us.” 

Oikawa kisses Iwaizumi’s fuzzy head before grabbing a bowl and sitting with them. He’s not sure why Hitoka is staring so intently at him when he sits down. Little kids just like to stare, probably. Or maybe there’s something disgusting on his face, or she’s wondering why his hair looks so bad.

“G’morning!” she squawks, startling both of them. Oikawa doesn’t know how to react, the only thing that he can think to do is smother her in affection. He also doesn’t want to scare her, so he restrains himself and pats her head instead. 

“Good morning Hitoka-chan, it’s good to see you this morning,” he says, and the smile on his face comes so naturally he doesn’t even realize it’s there. She babbles a bit, like she’s trying to say something back to him, so Oikawa continues the conversation. “What would you like to do today? There’s toys we could play with, or we could read, or we could draw again,” he trails on, hoping she’ll bite at one of his suggestions. 

“Play toys!” she says, hitting her palms against the table. Hitoka squirms and tries to climb down from her booster seat and Oikawa nearly panics and grabs her, but she’s down safely and toddling into the living room before he even gets the chance. Her mannerisms are a little different from the previous day, in a good way--like she’s more comfortable with her surroundings. Oikawa takes care of the dishes and Iwaizumi follows her into the living room. A few minutes later he enters the living room to find Iwaizumi and Hitoka sitting on the ground, with Hitoka pretending to race a toy car up Iwaizumi’s arm. 

It’s another perfect picture. 

Hitoka gets tired by late morning, so they put her down for a nap. Iwaizumi and Oikawa sit on the couch to decompress. They’d made sure that they wouldn’t have any distractions or plans for the weekend, so that they would have the whole time to be with Hitoka. Taking care of a two-year-old requires a lot of energy--Oikawa is scared for when they’re actually going to have other normal responsibilities on top of that.

“You could have woken me up earlier, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, stretching his arms.

“I woke up around five, and it wasn’t worth going back to sleep when Hitoka would probably be waking up in a couple hours,” Iwaizumi admits. “You looked like you needed the sleep, anyway.”

“Rude, Iwa-chan! Are my dark circles that bad?” 

“Shut it, Shittykawa, you know what I mean,” Iwaizumi huffs, and the way he crosses his arms reminds Oikawa of back when they were teenagers and Oikawa had to joke about any bit of concern that Iwaizumi showed him. Iwaizumi would say or do something sweet for Oikawa, Oikawa would turn it into a joke and Iwaizumi would get mad, but then Oikawa would return the affection in stride. Such a silly game they used to play. 

“I’m just joking, Iwa-chan,” he says, “come here.” Oikawa scoots to the edge of the couch and pats the tops of his thighs. Iwaizumi lays his head on Oikawa’s lap and closes his eyes, relaxing into the proximity. 

It’s not too cold outside in the afternoon, so they take Hitoka outside to play after her nap and some lunch. She’s perfectly happy running around the yard while Oikawa and Iwaizumi lounge on the patio furniture. She tears up countless handfuls of grass and Oikawa is surprised that Iwaizumi isn’t whining about his pristine lawn that he spends so much time perfecting. Kids really soften a person up.

Hitoka runs up to Iwaizumi and smacks him on the knee. “Haji!” she shouts, and then runs away as fast as she can. Neither he nor Oikawa understand what she’s doing and when they don’t move she pouts. She comes up and smacks Iwaizumi’s knee _again_ , but this time when she runs out into grass she calls for Iwaizumi. 

“Ah, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, “I think she wants you to chase her.” 

Understanding dawns on Iwaizumi’s face, so he stands up and walks towards her slowly, like he’s approaching a cornered animal. His concern is very cute, Oikawa thinks. As soon as he gets close to her she runs away, and this time Iwaizumi runs after her. He makes fake growling noises and Oikawa wonders if he even realizes he’s doing it. Hitoka squeals in laughter, so he growls even louder and it's the strangest, most wonderful combination of sounds that Oikawa has ever heard.

Iwaizumi stops holding back on his speed and catches her, grabbing her and spinning her around, and her face is scrunched up in a big smile. Iwaizumi squeezes her and sets her back down. “My turn,” he says, and then runs away from her. She giggles and chases after him and he does a good job of giving chase and then falling dramatically when she catches him. Oikawa is proud of his theatrics. 

“Tooru, do you wanna come play?” Iwaizumi shouts as he’s chasing Hitoka once again. The answer is yes, he does want to play with them, but he can’t risk straining his knee or falling in the grass, so he quickly makes up an excuse about how he’s happy just watching them. He doesn’t get the chance to respond though, because Hitoka face plants onto the ground. 

She pushes herself up onto her knees and _wails_. Oikawa runs to her instinctually, crouching down to her level; Iwaizumi races over as well.

“Hitoka-chan, are you okay?” Iwaizumi says, placing a concerned hand on Hitoka’s face. There’s dirt on her cheeks from the ground where she fell and he brushes it away with gentle fingers, but she doesn’t acknowledge the question and keeps crying. 

“That must have hurt,” Oikawa says, reaching his arms out for her. She lets him pick her up and he holds her close, and Iwaizumi runs his fingers through her hair. Her breaths even out and Iwaizumi wipes away her tears and snot with the cuff of his sweater without thinking. She starts to wriggle so Oikawa sets her down. 

After a moment she smacks Iwaizumi’s knee again and runs away from him. Oikawa laughs and the game begins again. 

\----

Hitoka gets a little dirty playing outside, so they give her a bath before dinner. She doesn’t cry like she did the night before, but Oikawa could tell that she was still a little scared of the bath--baby steps. Dinner goes as well as it could go with a two year old inadvertently flinging food and utensils everywhere, and Oikawa is glad they made the investment in unbreakable plastic dishes. A dog might be a good investment as well, considering how much food ends up on the ground. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi switch spots, so that Oikawa is reading to Hitoka and Iwaizumi is next to her bed on the ground. They let her pick the book, and she chooses one about a ravenously hungry caterpillar who eventually eats so much that it becomes a butterfly. She’s quiet as he reads, and Oikawa figures that it might be a good idea that Shimizu is coming to pick up Hitoka tomorrow. She might have forgotten, and Oikawa worries that she’ll be unhappy if it comes as too much of a surprise.

“Hitoka-chan, Shimizu-san is going to come and pick you up tomorrow.” 

She looks confused. “Pick up?” 

“Yes, she’s going to come and take you back to stay with her,” Iwaizumi says, and it strikes Oikawa that Hitoka probably doesn’t have consistent caregivers at child services. Workers at the center probably come and go frequently--it is their job after all. He worries that Hitoka might be confused that she has to leave after spending so much consecutive time with him and Iwaizumi.

Her face falls into a state of discontent, almost unhappiness. “‘Kay,” she says, clutching the space-print blanket. Oikawa and Iwaizumi frown at each other. Iwaizumi stands up and kisses her forehead. “Goodnight, Hitoka-chan. We’ll be right over in the other room if you need us.” 

Oikawa says goodnight to her as well and they go back to the living room, leaving her door slightly open like they did yesterday.

“Hitoka-chan seemed sad when we told her that Shimizu-san is coming tomorrow,” Oikawa says later when they’re curled up in bed. “Do you think that’s because she doesn’t want to leave?” 

Iwaizumi scratches at his scalp, just how he likes, and pulls him closer. “Maybe,” he replies, “I hope she liked it here.” 

“Do you like having her here, Tooru?” he asks quietly, brows furrowed. His voice is small and unsure.

Oikawa reaches to smooth out the creases in Iwaizumi’s forehead and kisses him, slowly draining the tension from Iwaizumi’s body. Oikawa smiles at him when they separate and speaks earnestly. “I like it more than anything.” 

\----

It’s Oikawa’s turn to let Iwaizumi sleep the following morning. Iwaizumi is such a poor sleeper that Oikawa _hates_ to wake him up when he’s finally getting the rest he needs, and it doesn’t help that his face looks so cute squished against the pillow. He figures he might as well make breakfast while Hitoka is still asleep, and he finishes up by the time he hears Hitoka’s soft babbling from her room. 

“Good morning, Hitoka-chan,” he murmurs, picking her up gently from her bed. She clings desperately to Oikawa and he wonders if she’s still tired, but when he tries to set her in bed again she whines and grips onto him harder. Maybe something else is wrong. “Are you hungry? I made breakfast for us.” 

He can feel her nodding but she still doesn’t let go. “You’ve got to sit at the table if you want to eat, Hitoka-chan.” Oikawa takes her over to the booster seat and tries to set her down. She squeaks in protest but eventually relents, letting herself be plopped onto the seat. Hitoka rubs at her eyes with tiny fists, but grabs the spoon Oikawa offers to her so she can eat. Oikawa barely even touches his food, he just watches her eat and smiles at the satisfied expression on her face. 

She looks a little bit more awake once she finishes eating, and Oikawa is relieved that she’s been a good eater through the weekend. All of a sudden, a very good idea pops into Oikawa’s head. “Hitoka-chan, do you want to draw again?” 

“M’kay!” 

They settle on the ground with the crayons and paper and Hitoka luckily doesn’t try to draw all over the walls again. Oikawa has to position himself a little uncomfortably to accommodate his knee--he definitely looks awkward, but he doubts Hitoka will notice anything. “I think Hajime would be really happy if we drew him a picture,” he says. “Do you want to try?” 

“Give Haji?” 

Oikawa hopes she understands what he means, and it seems like she does when she starts scribbling on the paper. He picks up his own crayon and starts to draw something for Iwaizumi as well, that he’s sure he’ll _love_. Hitoka has scribbled in at least six different colors when she decides she’s finished. 

“Done!” she shouts, shoving the paper up at Oikawa. He chuckles, but doesn’t take the paper from her. Luckily his drawing is finished as well. 

“Let’s go wake up Hajime and give them to him. You go first, Hitoka-chan.” 

Oikawa opens their bedroom door for her and she runs in, but she stops dead right before the edge of the bed. She looks back over her shoulder at Oikawa, like she’s unsure if she’s allowed to take another step. “Go, Hitoka-chan,” he whispers, and her face breaks into a smile. She takes the final step to the edge of the bed and jumps excitedly, tiny palms hitting the sheets next to where Iwaizumi is sleeping. 

A groan rumbles out of his chest, and Oikawa can tell by the look on his face that he’s about to start going off about Shittykawa, but he opens his eyes first. His expression goes soft when he sees it’s her waking him up and he swings his legs around to sit up on the bed. “Show him what you brought, Hitoka-chan!” Oikawa says, giggling. 

She presents the drawing to him with her arms straight out. “Haji’s!” 

It’s astounding that Iwaizumi doesn’t burst into tears right then. “For me?” 

“Yeah!” 

He takes the paper gently from her and looks at it, his face splitting into a big grin. “I love it so much, Hitoka-chan, thank you.” 

“I made you something too, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa trills, his smile only slightly evil. He hands his drawing to Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi’s face drops into a half-pout half-frown. 

“Hitoka-chan, your drawing is _so_ much better than Tooru’s,” he says, pinching one of her cheeks. Oikawa laughs, loud and genuine. “I think we should put it on the fridge.”

So they do, and Oikawa loves how Hitoka’s scribble drawing and his rendering of Iwa-chan the hedgehog look perfect in the kitchen. 

\----

A lovely morning turns into a somber midday when Shimizu texts that she’s on her way. The knock on the front door makes Oikawa’s stomach drop, and he’s not sure what to expect from Hitoka when he opens it. She might be really happy to see her--really happy to be leaving.

“Hello, Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san,” she says in her usual stony voice, but her lips quirk in a smile when she sees Hitoka standing there, holding the hem of Iwaizumi’s shirt. “Hi Hitoka-chan, did you have a nice time?” 

“Yeah,” she replies, staring straight at the ground. Iwaizumi has to lead her to the door, and her steps sound heavy against the wood floor. Shimizu holds out her hand for Hitoka and Hitoka looks so tiny standing there with her backpack. Oikawa had even managed to wrangle her hair in pigtails--she’s so cute that it hurts. 

“Come back?” Hitoka asks, not to anyone in particular. All three of the adults look around at each other, Oikawa and Iwaizumi unsure what to say. Shimizu, much to their relief, takes the lead. 

“You want to come back here, Hitoka-chan? To stay with Hajime-kun and Tooru-kun?”

Hitoka is looking her right in the face when she answers. “Yeah, fun.” 

Oikawa wants to cling to Iwaizumi, they both need the contact at the moment, but also the most intimidating person on the planet who holds the future in her literal hands is in their house and they should try to appear composed. 

“Well, we have to say good-bye for now, but I bet you’ll be seeing them soon.” 

Hitoka walks up to them and they both crouch down. She looks a little timid, like she’s not sure how to handle the situation--probably because she doesn’t. Oikawa reaches out and she gives him a little hug, and if Oikawa wasn’t crying before he’s going to cry now. “We loved having you here, Hitoka-chan, I hope we get to see you again soon.” 

She hugs Iwaizumi as well and he looks like he’s trying to imprint the moment into his memory forever. He kisses her head and lays a gentle palm against her cheek. Oikawa’s heart swells at how big his hand looks next to Hitoka. “We’ll see you next time, Hitoka-chan.” 

Hitoka nods, and Shimizu beckons her back. It’s probably best not to drag the good-bye out for too long. Shimizu holds her hand to walk them out, but she looks over her shoulder at Oikawa and Iwaizumi one last time. “We’ll be in touch very soon.” 

\----

Iwaizumi is gloomy for the rest of the day. Oikawa isn’t feeling that much better, but he hates sad Iwa-chan so he makes it his mission to cheer him up. As usual, he ends up laid out underneath Iwaizumi with his lips leaving kisses all along his neck. Iwaizumi’s fingernails are gripping hard at Oikawa’s hips, and Oikawa loves how he gets more aggressive as the space between them heats up. 

His hands find their way underneath Oikawa’s clothes and Oikawa feels his thoughts buzzing away into nothing as his muscles relax. Iwaizumi’s fingers trail along Oikawa’s thighs, and he grabs the underside of his knees to pull his legs apart.

Horrible, searing pain shoots from his injured knee up to his hip bone. Oikawa tries to hide a wince and gasp as best as he can, but Iwaizumi’s hands jump away from him immediately like he’s on fire. Oikawa whines because he wants the contact, the comfort of Iwaizumi’s skin, and he claws at his wrists, begging. His eyes are squeezed shut, and he wants to go back to a moment ago when he didn’t have to think. 

“Tooru, did I hurt you?” Iwaizumi whispers, and when Oikawa opens his eyes there’s the sweetest, most genuine concern painted over his face. Oikawa just _had_ to fall in love with someone so caring and considerate and respectful of his needs. 

“No, no, Iwa-chan, I was just a little startled,” Oikawa says. He reaches his hands to pull Iwaizumi back down to him he resists, looking at him suspiciously. If Iwaizumi won’t come to Oikawa, Oikawa will go to him. 

He pulls himself up against the headboard and draws Iwaizumi in for a kiss. His knee throbs, but it’s not as intense as the sharp pain from when Iwaizumi touched it. Oikawa bites at Iwaizumi’s bottom lip the way he likes and trails his fingers down Iwaizumi’s chest. Iwaizumi shudders and kisses back in earnest, easing Oikawa down onto his back again. 

Oikawa wonders if Iwaizumi is intentionally avoiding his bad knee or if it's instinctual after seeing the pain flash across Oikawa’s face. Either way, he distracts Iwaizumi enough so that Oikawa himself can forget, at least for tonight.


	5. 05

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's some mild sexual content at the end of this chapter but I didn't really feel like it warranted a rating increase? idk what the threshold is really but I thought I would put in a warning at the beginning of the chapter

Iwaizumi is working the longest, most tiring overnight shift of his life the Friday after their weekend with Hitoka. He’s had to work himself to the bone during the week to make up for taking the last weekend off, so that means twelve-hour shifts for six days straight. Luckily, though, he’ll have a lighter schedule the following week. Shimizu had called them a couple days after Hitoka left telling them how their weekend was successful, and that Hitoka had been asking about coming back to their house, and Iwaizumi and Oikawa agreed happily, of course. Hitoka is scheduled to come on Sunday and stay for two weeks. 

Right before his shift ends, a patient with a serious injury comes in needing an emergency laparotomy. Iwaizumi has to resuscitate the patient _twice_ during the procedure, but it's ultimately successful. When he tells the patient’s family that they made it out alive, they nearly fall at his feet and weep in gratitude. He’ll never get used to that--telling a patient’s family if they’ve made it or not, because for the family it would be either the best, or the absolute worst news that they could hear.

He’s grateful to finally clean up and head home, because the surgery took long enough that is well past the time when he was scheduled to leave. Iwaizumi passes by the nurse’s station when somebody stops him.

“Doctor Iwaizumi,” Akaashi says, voice steady as always. “The boss wants to see you before you leave.” 

Iwaizumi groans out loud. He knows it’s unprofessional, but he can’t help it, and Akaashi looks genuinely apologetic. “I told him that you were in the middle of a procedure, but he insisted.” 

“Alright,” Iwaizumi sighs. “Thanks for letting me know.” 

Iwaizumi barely bothers with niceties when he enters Chief Surgeon Irihata’s office. His name plate is gleaming on his desk, and Iwaizumi is jealous of the natural light shining through the window. “I heard you wanted to see me, sir.” 

“Yes, Doctor Iwaizumi, please sit,” he says, “I’ve been hoping to talk to you.” 

The notion makes Iwaizumi’s stomach turn, and he hopes the nerves aren’t evident in his voice. “How can I help you, sir?”

“I’ve heard you’ve been doing quite a fine job in the emergency room,” Irihata says, “and I also have heard from the Chief of Medicine that you’ve been involved in the situation with Yachi Madoka and her daughter.” 

Ah, right. Daichi and the Chief of Medicine are friends, Iwaizumi thinks, that’s probably how he knows. 

“Yes, I am… Is that an issue?” 

“No, no, it's not an issue at all Doctor Iwaizumi. I’m impressed by your work performance during these changes that must be happening in your life,” he compliments, “and I want you to know that I’m taking you off overnight shifts for the time being.” 

Relief washes over Iwaizumi, this will make the next two weeks with Hitoka much more manageable. “Thank you, sir, I really appreciate it.” 

“There is something I need of you, though. There’s a pretty prestigious surgery conference next weekend out of town, and I’d like you to go to represent our department. It could be very beneficial for your career, especially because I’m likely moving on from this position soon. Are you able to go?” 

Hitoka will be staying with them next weekend, and he isn’t sure what the etiquette is for extended time away during the visits. The way Irihata is looking at him makes him feel like he might not have a choice--Oikawa will be spending a weekend with Hitoka by himself, it seems. “Yes, I’m able.” 

“Glad to hear that, Doctor Iwaizumi. Keep up the good work.” 

Iwaizumi was grateful for the opportunity and being taken off overnight shifts, but he also wants to go home and sleep for 18 hours. He’s a dead man walking down the hospital hallways out to his car, but _another_ calls for him. This time, it's a terrible, high-pitched noise.

“Iwa-chan!” 

Oikawa and his family are the only ones that call him that, but it doesn’t quite sound like them. He turns around and sees a tall head of curly hair coming towards him. 

“Did I sound like Oikawa?” Matsukawa asks, “I was trying to imitate his annoying voice.”

Seeing Matsukawa is actually kind of a relief, out of all the people that could be bothering him right now. “Mattsun, what are you doing here? I thought you swore off inpatient treatment.” 

“Ha, you could say I got called in for a consultation, didn’t think I’d run into you though. How’s it going?” 

“Good,” Iwaizumi says, and he’s not sure how much to share with him. If, God forbid, things don’t pan out with Hitoka, he doesn’t want to be telling everyone about something that's going to hurt to talk about later. “How about you?”

“I’m good,” he says sheepishly. “Um..is Oikawa doing alright?” 

The inflection of his voice puts Iwaizumi off. “What do you mean?” 

“He hasn’t talked to you yet?” 

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about--” 

The conversation is cut off by another doctor, tall with peachy-colored hair, tapping Matsukawa on the shoulder. “Are you ready to go?” 

“Yeah, Makki, I’m good,” Matsukawa says, turning on his heel. “I’ll talk to you later, Iwaizumi?” 

“Sure,” Iwaizumi responds, before Matsukawa and his friend walk down the hall. He feels like he’s missing something, and he doesn’t like it. 

\----

Oikawa was supposed to be home by the time Iwaizumi got back from his shift normally, so he _definitely_ should have been home when he got hours after he expected to. It was the evening by the time he arrived back and he had a morning shift the next day, so Iwaizumi figures he might as well go to sleep now. It’s not like he had the energy to do anything else, and Oikawa wasn’t even home to nag him into eating dinner. 

Around an hour later he’s in and out of sleep, trying to burrow farther into the bed in hopes that it’ll swallow him up. Iwaizumi is just about to slip under when he hears the front door open and Oikawa’s familiar footsteps walking through the house. He opens the door to the bedroom and the light from the hallway hurts Iwaizumi’s eyes. 

“Are you already sleeping, Iwa-chan?” 

“Not anymore. I thought you were supposed to be home a while ago, where did you go?”

Oikawa stiffens. “Um.. I went to Keiko’s place for a while.” 

“In those clothes?” Iwaizumi asks. Oikawa looks down at his outfit--track shorts, knee pads, and a tight compression top. He looks very attractive, Iwaizumi thinks, but it's not the outfit he’d picture Oikawa going to visit his sister wearing. 

“Do I not look good, Iwa-chan?” he purrs, walking over to their bed and leaning over to take Iwaizumi’s lips in a kiss.

“I didn’t say that.”

Oikawa has a smug grin on his face when he pulls away. He runs a hand through Iwaizumi’s hair and goes to the dresser to change into sleep clothes. Or sleep pants, rather. Oikawa never liked wearing a shirt to sleep--and it wasn’t like Iwaizumi was complaining. “Did you have dinner?” 

“No,” Iwaizumi says, preparing for the look of disapproval on Oikawa’s face. “I had a really exhausting shift and just wanted to go to sleep.”

“Bad Iwa-chan! I’m making you something to eat, don’t you have to work tomorrow morning too?” Oikawa doesn’t give him a chance to answer, bending his knees and grabbing Iwaizumi’s wrists to pull him up. Iwaizumi doesn’t put any effort in and lets himself stay boneless, but he’s confused when Oikawa lets him go with a grimace and stumbles back on shaky legs. He takes a shuddery breath but speaks before Iwaizumi gets the chance to ask what happened. “I wasn’t expecting dead weight, Iwa-chan,” he huffs. “Come with me to the kitchen.” 

Iwaizumi follows without protest, but the atmosphere between them is strange now. “Sit,” Oikawa commands, pointing at the kitchen table. Iwaizumi watches Oikawa cook in silence, admiring the way his muscles in his back move while he busies himself with his hands. Whatever he’s cooking starts to smell good and Iwaizumi realizes how hungry he really is. Oikawa sets two plates on the table and slides into the chair across from him with controlled movements. “Why was your shift exhausting?” 

“Someone came in needing a major procedure right before I was scheduled to leave, and I had to resuscitate the patient twice in the middle of the surgery,” Iwaizumi sighs, “and then the Chief Surgeon wanted to see me--oh that reminds me, actually. He’s kind of forcing me to go to a conference next weekend.”

“While Hitoka-chan is here?”

“Yeah...skipping it didn’t really seem like an option. He implied that I would be in the running for his position in a couple months when he leaves.”

“Chief surgeon, Iwa-chan? That would be amazing!” 

“I’m not trying to get my hopes up. But will you be okay with Hitoka-chan by yourself for the weekend?” Iwaizumi asks. Oikawa bites the inside of his cheek and he looks anywhere but his husband. Nervous habits.

“That should be fine, Iwa-chan.” 

“Are you sure? If anything comes up I’m sure Keiko will be willing to help.” 

Oikawa smiles, fake and blinding. “You’re right, Iwa-chan.” 

They finish dinner and both head to bed, but Iwaizumi can’t fall asleep for his life. 

\----

Shimizu brings Hitoka to their house on Sunday afternoon, and Iwaizumi is very excited. He’d been so happy during their last weekend together, but his happiness was slowly drained out of him by shift after exhausting shift during the week. Shimizu knocks on the ground and when they answer the door, Hitoka dashes up to him and hugs around his knees. “Haji!” 

Oikawa bends down to greet her and she lets go of Iwaizumi to run into Oikawa’s arms. “‘Ru!” 

“Hi Hitoka-chan, we’re happy see you.” 

Hitoka giggles, but their attention is turned back to Shimizu when she begins to speak. “We brought more of her clothes and such, which should be enough to get her through the next two weeks, though you may have to do some laundry,” she says, pointing to the small suitcase next to her. “I’ll be making an unannounced visit sometime during the next two weeks to check in and see how things are going, though I have no doubts that everything will be well with the three of you.” 

Shimizu and Hitoka say goodbye and then it's just the three of them again, already content to be in each other's company. Hitoka runs around the house like she belongs there--and Iwaizumi can’t help but think she does. Later, after Hitoka goes to sleep, Oikawa is laying on top of Iwaizumi on the couch, eyes closed and relaxed. 

“You have practice tomorrow, right Tooru?” 

“Mhm, why?” 

“I just think it would be fun if Hitoka-chan and I came to watch you for a little while.” 

Oikawa’s eyes snap open and he sits up and away from Iwaizumi. “Do you not want Hitoka to see you?” 

“No, of course I do, Iwa-chan, it’s just… I don’t know. I don’t know.” Oikawa says, picking at one of his cuticles. “It might be weird if you guys come.” 

“ _You’re_ the one being weird, Tooru. Takeru and I have come to your practices multiple times, why would it be any different with Hitoka?” Iwaizumi says, irritation clear on his face. 

“It's just that since we’re getting close to the playoffs, Coach might be kind of intense. I don’t want you guys to see him screaming at us.” 

“Alright, we won’t come then,” Iwaizumi says, not buying it. Oikawa deflates in relief. 

\----

“Uncle Iwa-chan!” Takeru screeches, nearly tackling Iwaizumi as he races inside the house. “I haven’t seen you in so long!” 

“You’re right, it has been a while,” Iwaizumi laughs, ruffling Takeru’s hair. Iwaizumi and Oikawa had planned to have Hitoka meet Keiko and Takeru during her two week stay, and Keiko was ecstatic at the idea. Iwaizumi thought it would be a good idea for Hitoka to get to know them during the visit, considering they would probably be seeing a lot of each other in the future. Probably. Hopefully. 

“Hey, Keiko.” 

Oikawa’s sister walks in holding a container full of cookies. “Good to see you Iwa-chan, Tooru,” she says. “And you must be Hitoka-chan!” 

Hitoka is standing further back inside the house, latched to Oikawa’s side. Takeru runs up to her and she cowers back, shaking a little. He looks at her closely and she hides behind Oikawa, gripping tightly at his pant leg. Oikawa runs a soothing hand through her hair and Keiko clicks her tongue.

“Get back a little, Takeru, you’re scaring her,” she says, pulling gently at his shirt. He pouts and steps back, but Hitoka still clings tight to Oikawa. Keiko crouches down to talk to Hitoka and holds out a hand. “Hi Hitoka-chan, how are you?”

“I’m ‘kay.”

“My name is Keiko, I’m Tooru’s sister.” 

Hitoka perks up a little and takes Keiko’s hand. “‘Ru sister?”

“Yes, and this is my son Takeru.”

“Hi!” Takeru shouts. Hitoka comes out slightly from behind Oikawa and Takeru takes that as a victory. He zooms around the house, knocking things down here and there, but all of the adults know that trying to stop him would be pointless.

Hitoka takes quickly to Keiko and her nurturing demeanor, and Keiko takes to her just as well. When Iwaizumi had called her to tell her about Hitoka, she was thrilled. _Finally,_ she had said, _ninety-percent of the people in my life are male, it’ll be so nice to have a girl around. Even if she's only two years old._

Iwaizumi is cooking an early dinner for the group while the rest of them stay in the backyard. When he hears the back door open, Iwaizumi assumes it's Tooru coming in to take a break from the chaos, but he’s surprised when it's Keiko walking into the kitchen instead. She sits down and grabs one of the cookies from the plate on the kitchen table.

“Hitoka-chan is a cutie, isn’t she?” 

“Yeah, she really is,” Iwaizumi muses, smiling at nothing in particular. 

“I can tell you really care about her.” 

“Is it that obvious?”

“You really are a big softie, aren’t you Iwa-chan?” Keiko asks, taking a bite of her cookie. 

“As if you didn’t know already,” he grumbles in reply. Keiko speaks again after a long moment. 

“Are you going to adopt her?” 

Iwaizumi stills. He hadn’t been letting himself think about the prospect of adoption, but he isn’t sure why not. Isn’t that why they started this in the first place? Of course, Iwaizumi was the one who had brought up fostering her in the first place, obviously, but when Shimizu had asked them if they were interested in adoption, Oikawa was the one who told her yes. 

Oikawa, calculating Oikawa, was a notorious people pleaser. Even when they were playing volleyball together in high school, Oikawa sought to give each spiker exactly the toss they wanted. He wanted to bring out the best in everyone, let everyone succeed to the greatest extent possible. Iwaizumi sometimes wondered, what did Oikawa himself want? They had been married for five years and had been close for much longer than that, but Iwaizumi still doubted his ability to read his husband. 

Was Oikawa only going along with this because it’s what Iwaizumi wants?

“I-, I want to adopt her,” Iwaizumi admits. “I’m not sure if that’s what Tooru wants, though.” 

“Why do you say that?” 

“I’m not sure, it kind of feels like he’s not telling me the truth.” Iwaizumi feels ridiculous as the words roll off his tongue. Oikawa wouldn’t lie to him, not about something like this. 

“Tooru is hard to understand sometimes, even for me, but I don’t think you need to worry, Iwa-chan. I can tell he feels for Hitoka-chan the same way you do.” 

“You’re right, Keiko,” Iwaizumi agrees, but he hates that doubt still lingers in the back of his mind. 

\----

Everyone is satiated and happy after the meal that Iwaizumi makes for them. Takeru settles down a little after eating but is still his rambunctious self. Iwaizumi is glad to see that Hitoka has warmed up to him quite a bit, but he notices that she’d been quiet all day--even for her. 

“Momma, can I have another cookie?” Takeru whines, tugging at Keiko’s shirt. 

“You had one earlier, Takeru.” 

“But Hitoka-chan had two already!” 

Keiko laughs. “That’s because Hitoka-chan is a good girl”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Keiko sweeps Takeru into her arms and presses kisses on his face, and he squirms around in her arms. His whines turn into laughs and the scene is so wholesome it makes Iwaizumi’s heart hurt. Hitoka watches them with wide eyes, quietly and reverently. 

They say goodbye and Keiko gives her a hug. Hitoka leans into it, but there’s a sluggishness to her that Iwaizumi can’t exactly place. 

Later, Iwaizumi and Oikawa sit at the table with Hitoka to try to give her a snack after a bath, but she refuses to eat. “Hitoka-chan, what’s wrong? Are you not hungry?” Oikawa asks, concerned. 

She shakes her head and swats at Oikawa’s hand when he reaches out to her. Oikawa looks at Iwaizumi, concerned and helpless. Hitoka won’t look at either of them, and dread bubbles up in Iwaizumi’s chest. He goes to pick her up but she screeches and gets up from the table. She stumbles towards her room and the two of them chase after her, panicking. 

“Hitoka-chan, please tell us what's wrong,” Iwaizumi begs, trying to pick her up again. Hurt and disdain twists on her face and she slaps at his thighs.

“Want mommy!” she shouts, cheeks red. Iwaizumi’s heart plummets through the floor. The horror must be obvious on his face, because Oikawa quickly intervenes.

“Hitoka-chan please--” he starts, moving closer to her like she’s a scared animal, but she screams when he comes near her. 

“No! Want Mommy!” 

Awful sobs start to wrack through Hitoka’s tiny body and Iwaizumi’s feet are glued to the ground. He’s paralyzed by sadness, or maybe fear, but either way he can only watch as Oikawa tries to console Hitoka. 

Eventually, Oikawa picks her up and she thrashes in his arms, but he’s stubborn and won’t let her go. He whispers words of comfort to her and brings her to sit on the couch, looking at Iwaizumi in a silent request to follow them. 

“Shh, it’s okay Hitoka-chan,” he murmurs, holding Hitoka close to his chest. Tears stream down her face and she pounds against Oikawa’s shoulders with her tiny fists. Iwaizumi hates how useless he is in comforting her, but most of all he hates how someone so little has to handle so much sadness, so much grief. 

Iwaizumi sits close to them, scratching at Hitoka’s scalp because it's the only thing he can think to do. 

“I’m sorry, Hitoka-chan, I’m sorry your mom isn’t here,” Oikawa says to her, but her face is buried against his collarbone. Oikawa looks at Iwaizumi. “I’m so sorry you don’t have your mom, but you have us now.” 

Hitoka keeps wailing, tears and snot soaking Oikawa’s shirt, but she’s calmed down in his arms and isn’t fighting to get away. Every muscle, every bone, every _cell_ in Iwaizumi’s body aches for her, but the pressure behind his eyes makes it impossible for him to speak a single word. 

“We love you, Hitoka-chan,” Oikawa whispers, resting his cheek on the top of her head. “We love you so much.” 

_Love._ The word settles heavy in Iwaizumi’s heart. He had been avoiding it on purpose with Hitoka, but he’s not sure why. What he wants, desperately, is for Hitoka to feel loved by them. Iwaizumi is sure that he’s loved her from the moment he saw her for the first time in the hospital, devastated by something no child should ever have to experience. He’d been holding back, but hearing the word come out of Oikawa’s mouth breaks down the barrier that he’d unconsciously put in place. 

Iwaizumi takes Hitoka from Oikawa and holds her impossibly close, and she’s so wrapped up in tears that she barely notices that Oikawa isn’t holding her anymore. Iwaizumi cradles the back of her head and words of remorse and affection flow out of him uncontrollably. Oikawa watches them with shiny eyes, and when Iwaizumi looks at his husband he can’t stop himself from crying. Tears flow out of him, uncontrollably, flooding everything around them. His chest heaves with shuddering breaths but he doesn’t let go of Hitoka, he wouldn’t dare. 

His eyes are squeezed shut and he can feel Oikawa’s forehead rest against his temple, small exhales tickling his damp cheek. Things around them are still for a moment as Iwaizumi continues to cry, but after a moment he realizes that the little girl in his arms is still. 

Iwaizumi opens his eyes and sees her staring up at him, bleary but curious. Iwaizumi feels pathetic--Hitoka is the one suffering and he loses his mind? She’s probably confused or thinks that she’s done something wrong, when she obviously hasn’t--she’s the one that needs comforting but Iwaizumi is weak enough to break down in front of her, until---

Hitoka reaches and places a tiny palm on Iwaizumi’s cheek. Oikawa leans back and they stare at her, incredulous. “Hitoka-chan?” Iwaizumi asks, stunned. 

“No cry, Haji,” she says in a rough voice. 

Iwaizumi places a hand on top of hers and he weeps, silently, amazed by the tiny person in his arms. He doesn’t understand how a child could be so perceptive, so compassionate. “I love you, Hitoka-chan, I love you so much,” he says, and holds her even tighter to his chest. The three of them stay there on the couch until they’re all completely drained. 

Hitoka is so exhausted from crying that she falls asleep in Iwaizumi’s arms before they can take her to her room. After they lay her down to sleep, Oikawa has to coax Iwaizumi away from her side and into the bathroom to get cleaned up. Oikawa is so tired, Iwaizumi can tell, but he undresses Iwaizumi and takes him by the hand into the shower anyway. The tension bleeds out of him as Oikawa lathers shampoo through his hair and runs his thumbs along the muscles in his back. It's overwhelming, Iwaizumi thinks, how much Oikawa loves him. 

Oikawa towels him off when they get out of the shower, kissing away any stray tear that may leak out of Iwaizumi’s eyes. Iwaizumi watches him, reverently, overcome by affection for his husband. Finally, they’re in bed, with Iwaizumi pulled close against Oikawa’s chest. 

“Are you okay, Hajime?” 

“I am now, Tooru.” 

\---

“What are you doing, Shittykawa?” 

Iwaizumi is setting his packed bag near the front door when Oikawa wraps his arms around Iwaizumi’s waist from behind. It's the Friday that Iwaizumi is set to leave for the work conference, and while he has several hours before he needs to actually get to the airport, Iwaizumi wants to be ready ahead of time. 

A couple of days had passed since the visit with Keiko and Takeru. Iwaizumi had felt incredibly guilty after breaking down in front of Hitoka and had spoiled her with affection in the days following. Oikawa had told him time after time that he didn’t have to feel bad, but there was something so awful to him about being upset when Hitoka needed him the most. 

Despite Iwaizumi feeling like he had disappointed her, Hitoka was more affectionate with them than ever the next day. She clung to at least one of them at all times, and Iwaizumi worried that if they let her stick to them like this, she would be too sad when one of them had to leave. Oikawa reassured him that her clinging meant she trusted them. ( _”I read it on a parenting website, Iwa-chan!”_ ) 

They had told Hitoka a couple times throughout the week that Iwaizumi would be leaving for the weekend and she hadn’t seemed too affected, which put Iwaizumi’s heart at ease. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel abandoned. Iwaizumi is lost in thought briefly before Oikawa nips at his earlobe, making him exhale a shuddery breath. Leave it to Oikawa to know exactly how to make him weak in the knees. 

“Iwa-chan, why are you getting ready to leave so soon? You still have a few hours before your cab will get here” 

Iwaizumi huffs in feigned annoyance, but turns around in Oikawa’s arms to face him. Clearly pleased, Oikawa kisses him square on the lips, wasting no time in licking along the seam of his mouth. Iwaizumi groans and grips tightly at Oikawa’s hips, tilting his head to get even closer. He stops, though, when Oikawa shoves his hand ungracefully into his pants.

“Are you serious, Hornykawa?” 

“Please, Iwa-chan? Hitoka-chan will be napping for another hour and I’ll have to go a whole weekend without you,” Oikawa pouts, trailing his fingers lightly up Iwaizumi’s abs and pecs. He pulls Iwaizumi back in close and kisses behind his ear, sliding one hand up the nape of his neck. “Indulge me, Hajime, please?” 

As usual, Iwaizumi can never resist Oikawa, and he pushes him roughly towards their bedroom. Oikawa giggles, thrilled as he always is when he effectively riles up Iwaizumi. They kiss but it’s more teeth and tongue than it is lips, and Iwaizumi wastes no time undressing Oikawa fully and shoving him onto the bed. 

Iwaizumi strips off his clothes unceremoniously and crawls on top of Oikawa, kissing him roughly. They let their hands roam over each other unrestrained, and Iwaizumi can’t help but lose himself in the way Oikawa’s skin feels, the way he smells, the whimpers that he makes when Iwaizumi touches him. He can’t resist for much longer so he starts to prep Oikawa, working him open with his fingers and tongue. Oikawa thrashes beneath him and he’s so loud that Iwaizumi has to shush him multiple times. 

“It’s been too ah-- long since we’ve done this, Iwa-chan,” he pants. “I’ve missed you so much.” 

Once he feels Oikawa is thoroughly prepared, Iwaizumi crawls back up the bed and latches onto Oikawa’s neck, nipping at his skin until it's red and angry and then soothing it with his tongue. “We would have more time for this if you weren’t at practice so much,” Iwaizumi chides, but it's good natured.

Oikawa tenses for a split second, imperceptibly, but relaxes again when Iwaizumi lays kisses up his neck, in line with his pulse. “It’s not my fault Coach has been making us stay late.” 

Iwaizumi lets it go because he does not want to hear _anything_ about Oikawa’s nasty old coach at the moment. Instead, he kisses Oikawa until he’s gasping and begging for more, and god, he looks so pretty with his flushed cheeks and head thrown back against the pillow. 

They both shudder when Iwaizumi lines up with Oikawa and pushes inside--it feels just as breathtaking as it did the first time they had sex, although they’re much better practiced now. Iwaizumi rests his forehead against Oikawa’s collarbone for a moment, overwhelmed with sensation. Oikawa claws desperately at his back, a tiny whimper behind each exhaled breath. Once Oikawa is adjusted, Iwaizumi pulls his hips back and drives them back in. 

As soon as they build a rhythm, they’re rudely interrupted by the doorbell. Iwaizumi sighs and starts to pull away but Oikawa grabs his hips to hold them still in protest. “Please don’t get up, Hajime, it’s probably nobody,” Oikawa whined. “I need you right now, keep going.” 

Ever helpless to Oikawa’s demands, Iwaizumi moves against him again and he must have hit at the right angle because Oikawa has to bite into Iwaizumi’s shoulder to hold in a scream. Just as they start to lose themselves, the doorbell rings _again_. 

Neither of them are pleased when Iwaizumi gets up to answer the door. He slips on a pair of boxers and hopes that its nobody important, because based on his appearance, he is very obviously mid-fuck. He doesn’t even bother putting on a shirt. 

He opens the door, rubbing at his eyes. “Can I help you?” 

“Hopefully this isn’t a bad time, Iwaizumi-san.” 

Shimizu is standing in front of him in the doorway, one eyebrow arched in judgement. “Shimizu-san!” he startles. “Um, can you wait here for a second? I’ll be right back.” 

Iwaizumi slams the door and sprints to the bedroom. “It’s Shimizu-san!” He whisper-screams at Oikawa. “Get dressed!” 

“What the fuck, Iwa-chan? Are you kidding me?” 

“No! Put on clothes _now_!” 

They scramble to get dressed, and they definitely mix up some of their clothes. “I have a boner and lube dripping out of my ass, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa hisses.

“I’m not doing much better, dumbass!” 

Iwaizumi answers the door again with a smile plastered on his face. Neither he nor Oikawa look at all presentable, but at least they’re clothed, he figures. “Come in, Shimizu-san. Sorry about the wait.” 

She follows them into the living room and takes a seat in the armchair with that goddamn frightening notebook under her arm. Oikawa and Iwaizumi sit on the couch with a suspicious amount of space between them. Based on the expression on Shimizu’s face, they’re not fooling anybody.

“Where is Hitoka-chan?” Shimizu says, breaking the silence. Oh, right. Hitoka. The reason why Shimizu would even be here. The lack of blood flow to Iwaizumi’s brain is really starting to take a toll. 

“She’s down for her midday nap,” Oikawa offers, a disgustingly fake smile on his face. “Sorry the place is kind of a mess, we didn’t know you were coming today, Shimizu-san.”

The living room is spotless--Oikawa had cleaned it right before they had put Hitoka down for her nap. Shimizu looks around the room but doesn’t say anything. “That is the point of an unannounced visit. How is everything going with Hitoka-chan?”

“Um, it's pretty good so far,” Iwaizumi says. 

“ _Pretty_ good?” 

Tooru speaks up this time. “Yeah, um… my sister and nephew came by the other day and after they left, Hitoka-chan was upset. I think my seeing my sister and my nephew reminded her of her mother.” 

“I see, and how did you two handle that?” The question is for both of them, but Shimizu looks pointedly at Iwaizumi. She’s scarily perceptive. 

“We said that we were sorry she couldn’t see her mother,” Iwaizumi says, “but told her that she has us now, and that we love her. She calmed down after a little while and hasn’t gotten upset again since then.” 

“I’m glad to hear she’s feeling okay now.” Shimizu is unreadable. She asks them a few other questions that are much easier to answer, and she doesn’t end up taking out the notebook. Iwaizumi chalks that up as a win. “I noticed there’s a bag by the door?” 

“Oh, I’m being sent to a conference for work this weekend.” 

“So Oikawa-san will be with Hitoka-chan by himself?” 

Oikawa bristles but doesn’t say anything. “How are you feeling about that, Oikawa-san?” 

“I’m confident that everything will be fine. I’ve been taking care of Hitoka-chan by myself while Hajime has been at work this week, and I’ve taken care of my nephew on my own plenty of times,” Oikawa says, consciously trying to stay pleasant. 

Shimizu eyes him for a moment, and there’s an uncomfortable tension in the air. “Very good, then. Before I go, may I say hello to Hitoka-chan for a moment? I won’t wake her up if she’s still sleeping.” 

Iwaizumi can feel the waves of irritation rolling off Oikawa and places a hand between his shoulder blades in a half-hearted attempt to comfort him. They open the door to Hitoka’s bedroom and Shimizu steps inside for a moment. It's obvious that she still harbors affection for the girl, with the way her expression softens at Hitoka’s sleeping form. She doesn’t stay there for too long. 

They say goodbye to Shimizu and deflate in relief once the door is closed. Something shifted between them, and Iwaizumi desperately wanted the energy back that they had before Shimizu got there. He kisses Oikawa again and they quickly resume what they were doing before the visit, but Iwaizumi can’t help but feel something is off.


	6. 06

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a whole lot of italics and not a whole lot of plot

Saying good-bye to Iwaizumi for the weekend isn’t too much of a problem for Hitoka, much to Oikawa’s relief. He’s so mentally exhausted from the week prior that he doesn’t think he’d be able to comfort her the way she should be comforted, if she were to get too upset over Iwaizumi leaving. He hopes that neither of them noticed how tired he’s been, although he knows he’s been suspicious with his alleged extra practice--time which he’s actually spent at physical therapy. 

Once he puts Hitoka to sleep the night Iwaizumi leaves, he leaves a message for the doctor’s office. His MRI was originally scheduled for Saturday morning, and Oikawa had banked on Iwaizumi being at home while he was supposed to be at his appointment. When Iwaizumi told him that he had to be away for the weekend, part of Oikawa was relieved. Not having an MRI meant he wouldn’t have to hear whatever bad news he would have been told. Matsukawa had been nagging him constantly to make the MRI appointment, but it would have to wait. 

\----

The next day, Oikawa takes Hitoka for an outing, just the two of them. It’s just to run errands, but it’s sort of fun for Oikawa--it reminds him of tagging along with his mother to run errands as a kid. 

Hitoka seems quite enthralled by the goings-on of the grocery store, Oikawa thinks. He has to stop her multiple times from running off or knocking things down, and he hopes that his usual charming smile will wipe the disapproving expressions off of bystanders’ faces. It’s probably obvious that this is the first time he’s taken Hitoka out of the house by himself. She must be getting tired, though, because she reaches up to be held while Oikawa picks through the produce. He bends at his back to reach for her, which hurts, but it hurts far less than if he were to bend his knees. 

She clings to his neck and Oikawa makes conversation with her incoherent babbles as he tries to decide which apples look the best. He thinks he’ll bake some apple cobbler before Iwaizumi returns from his trip, it is his favorite after all. 

“Hitoka-chan?” 

Oikawa whips around at the voice behind him and finds himself looking at a man, around his age, with light colored hair and a very pretty face. _Almost_ as pretty as Oikawa’s, but not quite. Obviously. Hitoka perks up at the sight of him and starts squirming around. 

The stranger reaches out to hold Hitoka and something fiercely protective flares up in Oikawa. He feels his face getting hot and knows that he would have smacked at the other man’s arms if his hands weren’t full. The audacity of this stranger to try and take his baby right out of his arms, Oikawa thinks. Even if Hitoka does seem excited to see him. 

“Who are you?” Oikawa asks, accusatory.

“Who are _you_?” the stranger retorts, giving Oikawa a judgemental glance up and down his body. Hitoka starts to get upset, sensing the hostility, and Oikawa wants to walk away and maybe call the police on this baby snatcher. He holds her head against his shoulder with his free hand, hoping that his palm at least partially covers her ears. 

“Are you insane? Trying to take my baby away from me?” 

“ _Your_ baby?” the stranger laughs. “Good one.” 

The inflection of his voice makes Oikawa _very_ angry, but he tries to control himself so Hitoka doesn’t get more upset. “Are you going to tell me who you are? Or do I have to call the police?” 

“Where are my manners?” he sneers. “I’m Sugawara Koushi.” 

Sugawara stares at him like he expects him to react to the name, but Oikawa’s face remains neutral. When Oikawa doesn’t say anything in return, he rolls his eyes. “I’m the nurse who took care of--” he stops, and his expression morphs into something anxious as his eyes flicker at Hitoka. “I got to know Hitoka-chan at the hospital.” 

Something instinctual and wary is still coursing through him, even as Oikawa puts together the pieces of their connection. “So you’re married to Dai-chan?” 

The childish part of Oikawa is quite satisfied by the way Sugawara’s jaw drops at the nickname. “I’m Oikawa Tooru, Hitoka-chan’s foster parent.”

“Where is Doctor Iwaizumi?” 

“He’s away this weekend for work,” Oikawa says, unamused by the judgemental look in Sugawara’s eyes.

“Huh. I’m surprised he left you here--not sure why he would trust you alone with Hitoka-chan.” 

Unbridled rage, crimson and scalding, rushes over Oikawa. How can somebody say something so biting, so disparaging, with a clear conscience? Sugawara is lucky that Hitoka is there, because otherwise Oikawa would have _really_ cursed him out in the middle of the grocery store. It takes every ounce of restraint in his body to keep his voice even. 

“Have we met before, Sugawara-san?” 

“No, but--”

“Oh right, we _haven’t_ met,” Oikawa cuts him off, and he can’t control the rise in his voice. “So I’m confused as to why you would make such an insulting assumption about me and my relationship, Sugawara-san. Truthfully, my life is none of your business, so I don’t need to defend myself to you. However, you should know that Hajime and I love Hitoka-chan very much and are one hundred percent committed to being the best for her that we can be. I understand that you and Daichi-chan care deeply about Hitoka-chan, and trust me when I say that Hajime and I, as well as Hitoka-chan, are grateful for your concern. Obviously, we would like Hitoka-chan to be surrounded by people that love her. However, _if_ we meet in the future, it would be much appreciated if you could keep your irrelevant, misguided opinions to yourself, especially in front of _my_ baby.” 

Sugawara looks absolutely mortified, probably not expecting such an aggressive reaction. Maybe he thought Oikawa would be more like Iwaizumi, collected and polite, even in situations when he wanted to chew someone out. 

“Well, if you’ll excuse us, Hitoka-chan and I would like to carry on with our day. Feel free to keep me and my family’s names out of your mouth.” 

Oikawa leaves the store without buying anything. 

\----

As soon as they get home, Hitoka avoids him. She won’t let herself be picked up and she doesn’t cling to Oikawa’s side like she normally does. Oikawa goes through a mental checklist. Is she hungry, dirty, tired, uncomfortable? He doesn’t think any of those things are it. He figures he might as well just ask. 

“Hitoka-chan, are you okay?” 

She doesn’t look at him and shakes her head. _No_. 

“What’s wrong?” What was once rage is replaced by concern, and when she doesn’t answer him, concern becomes dread. “Please tell me, Hitoka-chan. What’s wrong?” 

“‘Ru angry,” she says in a low voice, almost like she’s afraid. Oikawa isn’t sure he’s ever felt so guilty in his life. 

“No no, Hitoka-chan, I’m not angry,” he says, “I promise I’m not angry.” 

She doesn’t look convinced. How fucking selfish, Oikawa thinks, to go on such a tirade against someone who Hitoka is close to. Hitoka should have been his priority, should _be_ his priority in any situation, regardless of his personal feelings, and he didn’t even stop to consider what she wanted. It would have been bad enough if he had gone off on a stranger, let alone someone who shares a genuine connection with Hitoka. He knew that children were perceptive of emotions, but it's only sinking in now how impactful his feelings are on Hitoka. 

“Please come here, Hitoka-chan,” he coos, desperate for her to understand. “It’s okay, I promise.” 

She comes over to him, tentatively, and Oikawa is relieved when she finally lets herself be picked up. “I’m sorry, Hitoka-chan. Were you scared?”

Hitoka nods, rubbing at her eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I got angry at the store earlier but I should have known that it would have made you upset. It’s my fault, Hitoka-chan, I’m really sorry.” 

Hitoka looks so small, so timid, and Oikawa feels like he might cry, sickened by his own behavior. He vows to be more considerate of Hitoka in the future because he can’t mess up again, not when this tiny person depends completely on him for everything. Not when he and Iwaizumi are all she has. Oikawa pulls her in gently for a hug and she comes freely, some of his fears alleviated when she wraps her arms around his neck. Oikawa combs through her hair and scratches lightly at her scalp. She sighs, and if a tear or two spills out of Oikawa’s eyes, at least nobody is around to see it. 

It begins to rain outside, raindrops pounding rhythmically against the windows. “I love you, Hitoka-chan.” 

\----

Oikawa isn’t sure how he’s supposed to sit here and live with himself, now that Hitoka is asleep for the night and there are no distractions. He’s sprawled out on the couch with ice on his knee, and he misses Iwaizumi so, so much. He told himself that he wouldn’t bother him on his trip, but the guilt from earlier is overwhelming and he’s not sure he can be on his own. Iwaizumi _did_ say to call if he needed anything.

Iwaizumi answers after a single ring. “Tooru?” 

“Hi, Iwa-chan.” 

“Is everything okay?” Iwaizumi sounds panicked. “Is Hitoka-chan alright?”

“Yes, yes, everything is alright, Iwa-chan. I just wanted to hear your voice. How was the conference today?” 

“It was okay, but I would much rather be at home with you two.”

Oikawa chuckles. “You miss us?”

“...More than anything.” 

“We miss you too, Hajime.” 

Iwaizumi sighs, and Oikawa aches to be near him. “How are you doing, Tooru?”

Oikawa doesn’t dare tell him about the encounter at the grocery store, or Hitoka getting upset. The last thing he wants is to worry Iwaizumi, and if he knew how Oikawa acted with Sugawara he would undoubtedly be angry. Shame bubbles up in his throat but he swallows it down. “I’m okay,” he says, “I just wish you were here.”

They’re silent on the phone for a moment, and emotions pull Oikawa in a thousand different directions. He’s lonely with Iwaizumi gone and angry that he let his feelings get the best of him earlier. There’s helplessness in that he isn’t good enough to be there in the way that Hitoka needs him. Most of all, there’s guilt. Guilt from lying to Iwaizumi, _constantly_ about his knee, and practice going late, and even just now when he said that everything was fine. He’d done a good job of hiding everything, of keeping Iwaizumi oblivious and happy, but his resolve is faltering. 

He’s about to tell Iwaizumi that he has to go when a deafening thunderclap shakes the house. The rain from earlier turned into a full-fledged storm, and Oikawa finds it very fitting of his mood. “Remember as a kid when I was scared of thunder?” 

“You were so afraid,” Iwaizumi whispers. “Any time the news said there would be a storm, I was so worried for you. I should have done more, I should have come to you whenever it started to rain.” 

“You can’t expect yourself to know what to do all the time, Iwa-chan.” 

“I should, at least with you,” he says, and Oikawa’s heart hurts so bad. “I just want to be there for you--I want to be enough for you.” 

He can’t take it--Iwaizumi is breaking him down without even knowing, like he always does. Oikawa gulps and hopes that Iwaizumi can’t hear his voice shake. “You are, Hajime. You always are.” 

Iwaizumi starts to say something again, but Oikawa is crumbling quickly. He doesn’t trust himself to speak, not when there are so many things he shouldn’t say that are on the tip of his tongue. “Um, I should go, Iwa-chan.” 

“Oh, okay,” Oikawa pretends not to hear the disappointment in his husband’s voice. “I love you, Tooru.” 

“I love you too, Hajime.” 

The moment he drops his phone, there’s another clap of thunder and tears spill down his face. He must look so pathetic, crying by himself like this. He’s supposed to be able to handle this on his own, he’s hidden things from Iwaizumi before, why is this so different? Why can’t he just deal with this by himself? 

Oikawa cries into his hands, and he’s unreasonably angry when he hears his phone buzz. He checks it anyway--maybe it’s from Iwaizumi.

It’s not, and his stomach drops when he sees that it’s a message from Matsukawa. _You cancelled your MRI?_

That tips him over the edge. Oikawa nearly loses it, he’s on the verge of screaming when he hears a door creak open. He looks over to the side and sees Hitoka-chan peeking from behind her bedroom door. Her eyes are red and there are tear tracks streaking her face. Any frustration, any sadness dissolves immediately when he sees her. 

There’s another crash of thunder and she winces, knees shaking so much that Oikawa is worried she’ll collapse, and _oh_ \--she’s afraid of the storm. 

He doesn’t waste any time in going to the door and gathering her up into his arms. She holds onto him, desperately, trembling in his embrace. “Hitoka-chan, it’s okay,” Oikawa murmurs, trailing a thumb along her cheek. “You’re okay.”

“‘M scared,” Hitoka says, muffled against the crook of Oikawa’s neck. 

“I know, Hitoka-chan, but I’ve got you. I’ll keep you safe.” 

After a concerning amount of time, Hitoka stops crying, but she doesn’t let go of Oikawa. When he tries to put her back in her bed, she starts to wail again, and Oikawa would rather die than have her cry again. She’s cried enough for today, enough for a lifetime. It’s well past her bedtime, but he figures he’ll indulge her and let her watch TV with him before she goes back to sleep. Oikawa sits on the couch and tries to peel Hitoka off of him, but she whines and resists.

“Hitoka-chan, I’m just going to sit you down right here next to me, okay? I’m not going anywhere.” 

Hitoka shakes her head no, and Oikawa sighs, helpless for what to do. He thinks back, though, to cowering in his room by himself as a child as storms raged outside his window, flashes of lightning illuminating the room and exposing his tears. He would pile as many blankets on top of himself to muffle the noise until he would sweat--either from the heat or from fear. What he would have given to be hugged until the deluge stopped, or at least until he could fall back asleep. 

Oikawa feels stupid, now, for trying to tough out those storms by himself when he was a child. There were so many people that would have rushed to comfort him, if they knew he was scared. Keiko, his parents, even Iwaizumi, would have come running if he had only asked. If he had only told someone that he was suffering. _You don’t have to do everything on your own,_ he’d been told, multiple times by multiple people. Oikawa isn’t sure why he still can’t get that through his head after thirty-something years of being told. 

Hitoka, at least, knows to find help when she’s scared. She’s only two years old and yet Oikawa has much to learn from her. 

Rain still pours but it seems that Hitoka has calmed down, and she doesn’t object when Oikawa tries to set her down. He positions her to sit in his lap and she seems content--he just hopes the storm stops soon. He changes the TV to a kids channel, and is relieved that it seems to be something relaxing. A lot of kids TV, he’s come to realize, is incredibly obnoxious. Oikawa actually dozes off, and barely notices when Hitoka pushes the ice pack off of his knee. 

“Ouchie?” Hitoka asks, poking lightly at Oikawa’s swollen knee. The touch is painful despite how gently she prods, and the pain jolts him awake. She must sense his discomfort, because she yanks her hand away like it’s been burned. “Sorry.” 

She looks ashamed and he quickly consoles her. “It’s okay, Hitoka-chan, you didn’t hurt it. It-- it hurt before.” 

Hitoka furrows her brow. “Go doctor?” 

Oikawa sighs. “I’ve been going to the doctor,” he says. It’s not exactly a lie, he thinks, more of an omission of the truth. _I’ve been going to the doctor, but not following his orders._ “Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m going to be fine.” 

They drift back into silence, the only noises in the room being the TV and Hitoka’s steady breaths. Oikawa stays awake through sheer willpower, determined not to fall asleep before Hitoka. When she seems deep enough in sleep, Oikawa carries her back to her bed and sets her down, careful not to wake her up. He kisses her on the forehead before tucking her in under the blanket, making sure she won’t get cold. 

When he steps out of her room he spots the toy chest out of the corner of his eye, and when he remembers what’s inside, he smiles. Oikawa tiptoes to the box and pulls out the stuffed hedgehog, goes back into Hitoka’s room, and slips it under the covers with her. 

The rain isn’t as heavy now, so she hopefully won’t wake up again. 

Oikawa staggers off to he and Iwaizumi’s bedroom, dead on his feet. He’s incredibly grateful that he doesn’t have practice tomorrow. Even though Hitoka will probably wake him up early, having a day off will be good for his knee. Maybe he’ll tell Iwaizumi about the knee when he gets back from his trip--it might be nice to come clean. 

\----

The next day, Iwaizumi comes through the door looking completely exhausted, haggard with dark circles and creases that betray his age, but his face lights up when Hitoka runs up to say hello. He smiles, brilliantly, and the sight makes Oikawa ache. 

Iwaizumi picks Hitoka up and twirls her around, hugging her close to his chest, and there’s a warmth in his cheeks that Oikawa had once feared disappeared for good. How lovely it is to see him with his face crinkled up in joy and not stress, in radiance and not grief. He sets Hitoka down and looks up at Oikawa.

His face splits into a heartbreaking grin, and god, Oikawa can’t believe how beautiful he is. And how much he’s missed him, both over the weekend and over the past couple years or so. 

“Welcome home, Hajime.” 

“I missed you, Tooru, so much,” he says, taking Oikawa into his arms and pressing kisses all over his face. Oikawa giggles, face heating up in embarrassment and happiness, and he lets himself be smothered in love. He can’t stomach having this end, watching the smile drop off Iwaizumi’s face and his expression morph into one of frustration, anxiety. He won’t be the reason Iwaizumi stops smiling. _Ever._

Even if it means having to do things on his own.


	7. 07

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all aboard the angst train, folks.
> 
> i should probably proofread this later

The relief Iwaizumi feels when he returns home from his work trip is immense. He never realized the toll that being away takes on him, even if it's for a short time. He wonders how Oikawa handles it with all of his away games, although the ever flighty Oikawa is probably much better suited for it than him. The relief is nothing, though, compared to the warmth Iwaizumi feels when Hitoka dashes up to him, ecstatic that he’s home. She giggles when he takes her into his arms and it makes his heart hurt in the most perfect way. 

He doesn’t have to work the following day, thankfully, and he’s looking forward to a lazy morning in bed with his husband before Oikawa has to go to practice. Iwaizumi is sorely disappointed, though, when he wakes up and doesn’t find Oikawa curled up next to him. He vaguely hears Oikawa shuffling around in the bathroom, so he decides to wait for him to come back instead of going up to get him. 

Oikawa is already dressed in his practice clothes when he steps back in the room, and he startles when he sees Iwaizumi sitting up in bed. “Iwa-chan! You’re awake already.”

“I am… I thought your practice didn’t start for a couple more hours.” 

“It doesn’t, but Bokkun wants to get some extra spikes in and he begged me to come to practice early and toss for him.”

Iwaizumi frowns. “Oh. I was kind of looking forward to breakfast with you and Hitoka-chan.”

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan. I’ll pick up something on the way home for dinner, though, okay?” Oikawa says, crossing the room to kiss Iwaizumi for a moment. “I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you later my love.” 

Oikawa is out the door before Iwaizumi has a chance to respond. 

Disappointed, Iwaizumi drags himself out of bed and makes breakfast for him and Hitoka. While they eat, he checks his weekday calendar--shifts Tuesday and Thursday. Friday is when Shimizu will pick up Hitoka. Oikawa has practice today, Wednesday morning, and midday Friday, and a home game on Wednesday night. 

Oikawa always told Iwaizumi that he was welcome at any of his games, home or away, and speaking truthfully, Iwaizumi hadn’t gone in a long time. For a while, he just didn’t have the energy. Now, though, he figures it would be fun to take Hitoka to a game, and maybe invite some others as well. It would be nice to surprise Oikawa, especially since he’d been doing so much extra practice lately.

The next day at work, he catches Sawamura while he’s on his break and sits down with him. 

“Hajime, hello.” The expression on Sawamura’s face makes it seem like Iwaizumi is holding a gun to his head. Strange. 

“Do you have to work tomorrow night, Daichi?

“No… why do you ask?”

“Oikawa has a game, and I wanted to invite you and Sugawara--and your son, of course. I was going to invite Oikawa’s sister and nephew too.” 

Iwaizumi can almost see the cogs turning in Sawamura’s head. “Is Oikawa-san okay with you inviting us?” 

“He doesn’t know anyone is coming, yet. He’s been doing a lot of extra practice, lately, so I thought it would be nice to surprise him.” 

Sawamura looks genuinely confused. “Did he not tell you about what happened over the weekend? I’m surprised you even want to speak to me at all.” 

“Irihata sent me to a conference for the weekend… what happened?” Iwaizumi says, and Sawamura shifts in his seat like he’s trying to get away from the tension between them. He’s visibly uncomfortable, but anxiety is flaring up in Iwaizumi. He needs to know. 

“Um, well, Suga and Oikawa-san ran into each other at the grocery store. And there was,” Sawamura chooses his words carefully, “an altercation.”

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow, prompting Sawamura for more. “I only know what happened based on what Suga told me, but apparently Suga tried to say hello to Hitoka-chan without introducing himself, and Oikawa-san got mad and told him off. Suga admitted that he said something to Oikawa-san that he shouldn’t have, but he wouldn’t tell me what exactly he said. I thought Oikawa-san would have told you, and that you would have been mad at Suga. And by extension, mad at me.” 

“So Oikawa cursed out your husband, in public, in front of Hitoka-chan. Who has a personal relationship with the person Oikawa cursed out,” Iwaizumi says. It’s not a question. 

Sawamura starts to panic. “I’m sure it wasn’t that big of a deal, and you know how Suga can be, he was probably way out of line, so if Oikawa did do something it was probably justified.” 

Iwaizumi isn’t listening. His ears are ringing and there’s hurt pulsing through him. He’s upset that Oikawa would get into an argument right in front of Hitoka, especially with someone Hitoka knows and trusts. However, he realizes that everyone makes mistakes. He and Oikawa are brand new to this, so he doesn’t expect either of them to be perfect. That wouldn’t be fair, and he knows that.

What he’s mostly upset by is Oikawa not telling him. He’d asked Oikawa how the weekend had gone and he didn’t say a damn word. This explains why he felt like someone was off when Oikawa had called him on Saturday night. 

“I can’t believe he wouldn’t tell me.” 

“Maybe he just hasn’t had the chance yet, or he was going to tell you when you get home, or something.” 

Iwaizumi clenches his jaw and balls his hands up into fists. His fingernails dig into his palms and it stings, but it's nothing compared to how his chest is hurting. “Well, I appreciate you saying something to me, Doctor Sawamura. My offer about the game still stands, so text me if you want the tickets.” 

He stands up and walks out of the break room, ready to get back to the emergency room and be thoroughly distracted by work. 

As a trauma surgeon, Iwaizumi has to be able to make definitive situations very quickly. A patient could come into the emergency room, on the verge of death, and he would have to assess the situation quickly and make a decision that could either save the patient’s life, or end it completely. He wrestled with the horrors of death everyday, and he had to accept that sometimes death would win. Despite that, he still did everything he could to save every single patient. It took an incredible amount of confidence to be a trauma surgeon--which Iwaizumi didn’t have for a long time. 

Although the medical field felt fulfilling to Iwaizumi from the start, developing that confidence over time was incredibly difficult. Iwaizumi struggled during medical school and his residency, of course, pulling countless all-nighters and drinking an unhealthy amount of coffee, but that was nothing compared to cultivating enough trust in himself to make literal life or death decisions. He’d been praised by his professors and mentors for his level head and his dedication to learning how to make the right choices when needed, but only during the final year of his fellowship did he finally feel comfortable by himself in the operating room. 

It took nearly ten years, but finally Iwaizumi realized that he had made the right choice in becoming a trauma surgeon. He had the temperament and the dedication necessary to be successful in the field, and his superiors acknowledged his excellence regularly. He stopped feeling inferior and insecure, at least in his career--despite the crippling stress it caused him.

He’d made progress against his insecurity in his relationship too. Iwaizumi learned to let himself trust Oikawa when he told him he loved him, or that he was committed to their marriage, or when he vocalized what he desired. Iwaizumi still struggled with trust occasionally, but he had come so far over their thirty-plus years of friendship and nearly twenty year-long relationship.

That’s why this whole situation is so disappointing to him. They loved each other, desperately and more than anything--Iwaizumi would never doubt that. But the ups and downs of the past few weeks have him worried. Was he a fool to trust Oikawa when he said he wanted to foster Hitoka? Because he certainly felt like a fool now, thinking about all the things that Oikawa has probably neglected to tell him. 

\----

Iwaizumi doesn’t particularly want to go to Oikawa’s game, but he’d already invited Keiko and Takeru, and Sawamura and his family ended up accepting Iwaizumi’s offer for the tickets. It would be rude to cancel now, and Hitoka was excited to see Oikawa play--there’s now way he could tell her that they weren’t going anymore. Iwaizumi does his best to plaster on a happy face for the other attendees--especially Keiko. She’s perceptive and hard to fool, and she definitely wouldn’t leave him alone if she caught wind of any serious conflict between them. Even when he and Oikawa would bicker as children, she would always step in and insist that they make up. 

Keiko and Takeru are already in the stands when Iwaizumi and Hitoka arrive, and Hitoka seems excited to see both of them. He prays that Hitoka doesn’t get upset like she did the last time they were all together, because he’s not sure that he could handle this time around. The first set starts and Iwaizumi points to Oikawa on the court. He’s wearing long knee pads, which Iwaizumi hasn’t seen before, but he has to admit that they make his legs look exquisite. “Hitoka-chan, look, there’s Tooru.” 

“‘Ru?” she whips her head around to look up at Iwaizumi and he laughs, bouncing her a bit on his lap.

“Yes, that’s Tooru!” 

He’s content with her giggles and excitement and watches the game happily for a while, forgetting about any of the animosity he harbors towards his husband at the moment. That is, until a familiar head of black curly hair walking down the aisle catches his eye.

“Nurse Akaashi?” 

Akaashi turns around in surprise and then bows when he sees who is addressing him, formal as always. “I didn’t expect to see you here, Doctor Iwaizumi.” 

“I didn’t expect to see you here either, Nurse Akaashi. This is our foster, Hitoka-chan, and this is my sister-in-law and nephew,” Iwaizumi explains. “I didn’t know you were a volleyball fan.”

“Ah well, I played in high school, but I’m here because my husband is on the team.” 

That surprises Iwaizumi. “Who’s your husband?” 

“Bokuto Koutarou, the wing spiker.” 

“Ha, Bokkun? I’m married to Oikawa, I hear they’re pretty good friends.” 

“Bokuto speaks highly of him, that's for sure. I’m happy to see that Oikawa-san is feeling better,” Akaashi says, glancing at the court. 

Iwaizumi furrows his brow. “Better?”

“Bokuto told me that he hadn’t been feeling well,” Akaashi explains, but the tone of his voice makes it sound like a question. Iwaizumi starts to feel nauseous, and it probably shows on his face. 

“Huh. Well, good to see you, Akaashi. Maybe I’ll see you at some games in the future,” Iwaizumi says, very clearly wanting the conversation to be over. Akaashi takes his leave and the match continues. Iwaizumi explains the plays to Hitoka and points out the specific players, obviously aware that she probably doesn’t understand, but she listens intently anyway and babbles incoherently in response to some of the things he says. God, he loves her so much. 

The opposing team is one of the worst in the league, so Oikawa’s team takes the first set easily. Oikawa scores the set point with a service ace, and Iwaizumi can’t help but smile when Bokuto picks him up in celebration. 

“Sorry we’re late!” 

Iwaizumi turns to his side and sees Sawamura, Sugawara, and a tiny child with a shock of orange hair scooting through the row to their seats. “Glad you could make it, Sawamura, Sugawara. And who is this little guy?” 

“This is our son, Shouyou,” Sugawara says, and he looks incredibly pleasant, all things considered. Iwaizumi introduces them to Keiko and Takeru. “Thank you for inviting us, Shouyou _loves_ volleyball.”

Shouyou squeals in what must be agreement. 

Sawamura sits next to Iwaizumi holding Shouyou, and Hitoka reaches out to touch his orange hair. They seem very intent on each other--Iwaizumi figures they feel some kind of baby camaraderie and are communicating in some kind of baby language. Sugawara leans forward so he can see down the row. “Hello, Hitoka-chan.” 

“Suga!” she squawks, clearly excited to see him. 

“Could I see her, Doctor Iwaizumi?” 

_No you can’t, you prick,_ is what Iwaizumi wants to say, but Hitoka is flailing in his arms so he holds her out for Sugawara, resigned. Sugawara takes her with a smile and sets her on his lap. Iwaizumi can tell by looking at them that they share a connection. Hitoka glows when she looks at him. Sugawara combs through her hair with his fingers and laughs when Hitoka pokes at his face. There’s so much love in their interactions that he forgets that Sugawara is a total asshole. Sugawara hands her back after a moment with a smile on his face that Iwaizumi isn’t in the mood to return it. 

Sawamura and Iwaizumi make bland conversation as the second set starts, and Oikawa’s team takes control of the set’s flow immediately. They have a handsome lead, but the coach calls a time out anyway. Before the coach sends the team back out, Iwaizumi sees Oikawa pull him aside and whisper something to him. The coach looks confused, but he shrugs and pats Oikawa on the back. 

Oikawa sits down on the bench and fidgets with his knee pads, and the coach taps the shoulder of a different benched player. He stands at attention and shouts in confirmation when the coach says something to him, so loud that Iwaizumi can hear it up in the stands. If Iwaizumi isn’t mistaken, the player being sent in is Kageyama Tobio--the team’s back-up setter who Oikawa very pointedly dislikes. Iwaizumi can’t see Oikawa’s face, but he can only imagine how hard he’s rolling his eyes when Kageyama sprints full speed onto the court. 

Takeru pulls on Iwaizumi’s sleeve. “Why are they taking Uncle Tooru out?” 

“Your guess is as good as mine, Takeru.” 

Iwaizumi watches the second set with moderate disinterest and hands Hitoka off to Keiko for a moment so he can go to the bathroom before the third set. He doesn’t see Sawamura elbowing Sugawara over a hushed argument. 

He’s about to step in the bathroom when he hears Sugawara behind him. “Doctor Iwaizumi!”

“Nurse Sugawara. Is something wrong?” 

“No, no… I just wanted to thank you again for inviting us to the game, and I also wanted to tell you that I can tell Hitoka-chan really loves you. And that you really love her.” 

“I also wanted to say sorry for what happened last weekend. I shouldn’t have said what I said to Oikawa-san, it wasn’t my place to say anything. I’m just really concerned for Hitoka-chan, and want to make sure that--” 

“I understand, Sugawara,” Iwaizumi cuts him off. “That’s great and all, but if you want to apologize then you should be apologizing to Oikawa and not me.” 

_I still don’t even know what happened,_ Iwaizumi thinks. 

“I _do_ have to use the bathroom still, so if you’ll excuse me,” Iwaizumi says, turning on his heel and leaving Sugawara behind. 

The third set is underway by the time he returns to his seat, and Iwaizumi notices that Sugawara is very consciously avoiding eye contact with Iwaizumi and instead fussing over Shouyou. Kageyama is still in the game instead of Oikawa, but the team wins in straight sets anyway. Iwaizumi watches Oikawa as he shakes hands with the other players, and for some reason feels sick to his stomach when he sees the usual fake smile that he reserves for strangers on his face. 

\----

It’s past Hitoka’s bedtime when she and Iwaizumi get back from the game, so he puts her to sleep and gets in bed right afterward. It’s around an hour later when he hears the front door open. Oikawa showers and gets under the covers, but Iwaizumi flinches away when Oikawa tries to touch him. He’s facing away from him, but Iwaizumi can imagine the hurt and confusion on Oikawa’s face. 

“I didn’t know you were coming to the game tonight, Iwa-chan. Why didn’t you stay after? Keiko and Takeru waited around to say hello after Coach dismissed us and told me that you invited everyone to the game.” 

_Because you lied to me so I didn’t feel like seeing you._ “It was past Hitoka-chan’s bedtime and she was starting to get over-tired, so I just figured it would be better to head home.” 

“Oh,” Oikawa says, voice small and timid. He must be able to feel that Iwaizumi is upset. 

“I wasn’t expecting your coach to take you out halfway through the game.” 

“Ah, that,” Oikawa breaths, voice unsteady. “I suggested it--I thought it was a good idea for Tobio-chan to get some in-game experience, considering we were almost guaranteed to win. And the playoffs are coming up, so it would be good to work on the depth of the roster.” 

_A lie_ , Iwaizumi thinks. Oikawa is a good teammate, but not that selfless. “I thought you didn’t like Kageyama.” 

“I don’t, really,” he says, and Iwaizumi doesn’t respond.

“Um, goodnight, Iwa-chan.”

“G‘night.” 

\----

On Thursday, Iwaizumi doesn’t have the energy to breathe, let alone talk things out with Oikawa. When he gets back from what ended up being a grueling shift, he settles for tucking Hitoka in for the night, skipping dinner, and going straight to bed. Friday morning rolls around and Iwaizumi wakes up to Oikawa cooking breakfast for the three of them. 

He’s especially hungry, considering he hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before, and he doesn’t have the energy to maintain hostility against Oikawa, so he eats breakfast contentedly and even manages to make pleasant conversation at the kitchen table. As the meal winds down, the topic of conversation shifts to something they’ve likely all been dreading. 

“What would you like to do today Hitoka-chan? We have a little while before Shimizu-san will be here to pick you up,” Iwaizumi says, resting his hand on top of hers. 

“Go back?”

“Yes, remember we talked about it on Wednesday?” 

“Don’t wanna,” she pouts, and Iwaizumi freezes. He’s not sure what feeling is rushing through him right now--maybe elation, with a hint of dread. He glances at Oikawa and sees that he’s looking at Hitoka fondly, but there’s a faraway look in his eyes, like he’s distracted. Iwaizumi kicks at his leg under the table to get his attention and he squeaks, but his focus has shifted and Iwaizumi is satisfied.

“Wanna stay here,” Hitoka says, and Iwaizumi squeezes her hand. He and Oikawa share a look and Oikawa nods, so Iwaizumi starts to say the thing that's been on his mind for weeks.

“I’m sorry, Hitoka-chan. You’ll have to go with Shimizu-san today, but pretty soon you could stay here with us for good. Would you like that?” 

“Stay with Haji?” 

“Yes, and Tooru too.” 

Hitoka looks at her breakfast plate for a moment and hums, and Iwaizumi’s heart is beating faster than it ever has. He _thought_ he was nervous those times at the foster center in Shimizu’s office or when Hitoka had come over to the house for the first time. Those instances were nothing compared to the way his stomach was rolling at the moment.

“Yeah, stay here.” 

Iwaizumi’s face breaks into a huge smile and although he doesn’t notice, so does Oikawa’s. 

Hitoka keeps the two of them busy until Oikawa has to leave for his midday practice, but Iwaizumi makes sure to corner him before he goes. Oikawa is slipping on his shoes by the door when Iwaizumi puts himself in Oikawa’s way. 

“Tooru, you’ll be home to say goodbye to Hitoka-chan, right? Shimizu-san texted me saying that she’s coming at six.” 

“Practice ends at four, so I’ll definitely be home in time, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, trying to grab the door handle. Iwaizumi grabs his wrist and Oikawa looks up at him, startled. 

“If your coach, or Bokuto, or whoever asks you to stay for extra practice, you’ll tell them no, right?” 

Oikawa sighs, and takes Iwaizumi’s face in his hands. “Of course I’ll tell them no, Hajime. I wouldn’t miss this, ever.” 

His voice is soothing combined with the warmth of his palms, Iwaizumi thinks, and he relaxes into the touch, letting himself be comforted--at least for the moment.

“I love you. I’ll see you soon.” 

“I love you too, Tooru.” 

\----

It’s three forty-five, and Iwaizumi knows he has no reason to be antsy yet. Oikawa’s practice isn’t even over. 

\----

Four fifteen is a little early for Oikawa to be home, but Iwaizumi still looks to the front door every thirty seconds. 

\----

At four forty-five, Iwaizumi starts to cook dinner for himself and Hitoka. 

\----

They sit down to eat at five. Hitoka eats happily, but Iwaizumi doesn’t have much of an appetite. 

\----

By five thirty, worry starts to slip into the cracks between Iwaizumi’s anger. He sends a text to Oikawa-- _where are you?_ There’s no response. 

\----

Six is when someone knocks on the door, but it’s not the person Iwaizumi wants to see. He does his best to smile when he answers the door but he knows Shimizu will see through him. “Hello, Iwaizumi-san,” Shimizu says when he opens the door, curt as usual. Hitoka stands behind him, one hand grabbing the bottom of his shirt--quite the opposite from when Hitoka was dropped off at their house for the first time. Shimizu glances around the house. “Is Oikawa-san here?” 

Iwaizumi swallowed down his rage. It looked bad enough that Oikawa wasn’t there, but it would look even worse if he was visibly angry, so he lies. “He’s not, he had something come up at work.” 

Shimizu gives him the most disapproving look that he’s ever seen on her face, and his heart sinks to the floor. “That’s too bad, I hoped both of you would be here to say goodbye. Are you ready to go, Hitoka-chan?”

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Iwaizumi crouches down and places a hand on Hitoka’s cheek and makes a fragile promise. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” He hopes, desperately, that it doesn’t end up being a lie.

“M’kay.” 

He kisses her forehead and pulls her in for a hug. Hitoka’s fists clench at his shirt, almost as hard as his heart is clenching in his chest. “I love you, Hitoka-chan.” 

“Wuv you,” she whispers.

It's the first time she’s said it back. 

Iit takes the strength of every bone, every muscle fiber, every _cell_ in Iwaizumi’s body to hold back tears-- he knows that Hitoka is just parroting the words, that’s what toddlers her age do. She probably doesn’t understand what the word entails, or how much Iwaizumi means it, but it still warms him from the inside out despite all the turmoil he’s feeling. He gives her one last squeeze and then lets her go. 

“Bye Haji.” 

“Bye, Hitoka-chan.” 

\----

At six thirty, Iwaizumi can’t stop himself from crying anymore. and part of him thinks it's funny how he’s cried more in the past few weeks than he probably has in his entire life. His mind races and grief overwhelms him--he can’t help but feel that was the last time he would see Hitoka. Shimizu was so clearly upset with him and there’s no way she would place Hitoka with them permanently. Not when one of them didn’t care as much as he should. Not when one of them lies to the other’s face. 

She’d be better off with somebody else, some other couple who can give her what she needs.

\----

Iwaizumi sends Oikawa another text at seven-thirty. _What the hell, Oikawa?_

\----

By eight thirty, Iwaizumi has thought through every detail of the situation ten times over. There’s something _very_ wrong if Oikawa isn’t home by now--practice was supposed to have ended four and a half hours ago. Half of Iwaizumi is incredibly worried that something bad happened to him, but the other half consumed by anger is stronger. He’d never imagined that Oikawa would be so apathetic to something that was so important. 

Oikawa has said multiple times that he wants to foster Hitoka, wants to _adopt_ her, even. He was the one so diligently taking notes at the pre-service training, and he was the one to tell Hitoka that they loved her for the first time. But were those just words? Did he do those things only to please Iwaizumi?

If that were the case, Oikawa’s behavior over the past few weeks starts to add up: the skittishness and fake smiles, refusing to help build Hitoka’s furniture, insisting Iwaizumi doesn’t bring Hitoka to his practice, making up excuses as to why he comes home late, among other things. Matsukawa and Akaashi even seemed to know something that Iwaizumi didn’t. 

How cruel, Iwaizumi thinks, how fucking cruel it would be if none of those things actually meant anything to Oikawa. Cruel to Iwaizumi, but especially cruel to Hitoka.

It scares him, how much he cares for Hitoka already, and he thinks he understands what Sawamura was talking about, the day he came over to the house.

_Loving a child is different than loving your significant other. It's more pure, the love between a parent and a child. And probably more unconditional._

Iwaizumi decides that Hitoka’s future, her livelihood, is the most important thing to him--and if he’s forced to choose between a life with her or a life without her, then he knows what decision he’ll make.

He’s too afraid to let himself think about the repercussions of that decision.

\----

At nine-thirty, Iwaizumi checks his phone again--both of his messages remain unread. 

\----

Iwaizumi isn’t sure what time it is when he dozes off, sitting on the living room couch, exhausted.


	8. 08

The day Shimizu is supposed to pick up Hitoka is the day that Oikawa blows out his knee.

The team always practices their serves at the end of practice, and Oikawa is no exception despite his injury. It’s not like anybody on the team besides Bokuto _knows_ about the injury, not even his coach. He’d done a good job hiding it from everybody, and he regrets it, considering how much it’s hurting him now. At this point, though, he might as well keep going and figure it out after the league playoffs. 

So, he practices his serves at full strength--they can always be more powerful, more accurate, and Oikawa is determined to sharpen his most successful weapon on the court. He starts from behind the line, throws the ball up in the air, and jumps. Oikawa hits the ball, dead center, and it feels perfect coming off his hand. He watches soar over the net before his feet hit the ground, slightly unsteady. 

A nauseating _pop_ echos through the gym and he hits the ground, hard. 

His mind is blank, emotionless as he lays on the court and all he feels is excruciating pain. There are people around him, yelling, but he doesn’t hear them. Not really. The only one who gets through, even slightly, is Bokuto, who’s kneeling beside him and shaking his shoulders. 

“Oikawa, are you okay?”

_No, of course I’m not okay._

“I’ll take him to the hospital,” Bokuto says to the people surrounding him, and Oikawa sees their coach talking to him for a minute before Bokuto turns back to him. Bokuto manages to get Oikawa standing and takes him out to the parking lot. Oikawa lets himself be manhandled into the passenger seat, and Bokuto starts the car. He hasn’t said a word since he hit the ground. 

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this quiet, Oikawa-kun.” 

Oikawa chuckles dryly. “I don’t really know what to say.” 

Bokuto helps Oikawa hobble into the emergency room when they arrive at the hospital. Oikawa sits in the waiting room while Bokuto checks him in, and then sits in the chair next to him. A familiar face emerges from behind the desk and Bokuto perks up. “‘Kaashi!”

When Akaashi sees who’s calling him, all the blood drains from his face and he runs over to them. “Koutarou, oh my god, why are you here? Are you okay?” He’s panicking and Bokuto stands up and takes Akaashi’s face into his hands, shushing him.

“Keiji, my love, I’m fine,” he says, but then looks away. “Oikawa--he, um, his knee gave out at practice.” 

Akaashi looks at Oikawa, still sitting in the chair, with a disturbed expression. “‘Sup, Keiji-chan,” he says, deadpan. His knee is still on fire but the pain means nothing to him, not with how empty he feels. The moment he felt his knee give out, he knew it was over for him. When he hit the floor, he knew that his life had drastically and irreparably changed.

“Oikawa-san, I’m sorry… let me go see how soon we can get to you.” 

Akaashi doesn’t look optimistic when he disappears back behind the swinging doors, down the hallway to wherever Oikawa will inevitably learn his fate. He emerges after a few minutes with a grim expression. 

“It might be a while… we’re swamped today and we have to give priority to any life threatening injuries that may come in. I’ll put you on the list for an MRI though so you don’t have to wait for a doctor to order one. A technician will come get you fairly soon, but a doctor might not be able to assess the results for a few hours. I’m sorry, Oikawa-san.”

The fluorescent lights in the waiting room hum and flicker, and Oikawa looks at the clock that ticks on the wall. It’s already four thirty, and if it truly does take a few hours, then there’s no chance he’ll make it back on time to say goodbye to Hitoka. 

Iwaizumi is going to be furious. He might even hate Oikawa for it, and the thought makes Oikawa sick. Even though he deserves it.

“You know, Bokkun, this is probably the worst fucking day for this to happen.” 

Bokuto looks like he just got scolded. “Why?”

“We’ve been having a foster kid stay with us for the past two weeks, and today she’s getting picked up by her case worker to go back to child services for a while. Hajime _insisted_ that I be home for it, and I had every intention of being there. Hajime is already mad at me, for some reason, and this is just going to make it worse--and it’s definitely not good for Hitoka-chan’s relationship with us, or Shimizu’s assessment of our fitness as parents.” 

“You should text Iwaizumi-san and tell him where you are! He’ll definitely understand then.” 

“My phone is in my bag, which we left at the practice facility.” 

Bokuto pats his pockets and his face falls. “So did I, but I can go back to the practice facility really quick and grab them!” 

“I really appreciate it Bokkun, but I really don’t want to be myself right now. Any excuse I have for not being there doesn’t matter, anyway. I should be there no matter what--I shouldn’t even have gone to practice today so I could make sure that I was home,” Oikawa sighs, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m only realizing now how fucked up my priorities are.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“My family and health should be my number one priority, more so than anything else, including volleyball. I feel fucking stupid--volleyball has been the most important thing for me for as long as I could remember, so much so that I unconsciously resisted making enough room in my life for Hitoka-chan or Hajime. I’d told him over and over that I want to be foster parents and I do, truly. I love Hitoka-chan more than I thought it was possible to love a person in such a short time.”

Oikawa laughs, self-deprecating. “I care way more about Hajime and Hitoka-chan than I do about volleyball, and I hate that a potentially career-ending injury is what it took for me to realize that.” 

Bokuto is silent for a while, thoughtful. “It’s not fair to expect yourself to be able to make such a major adjustment in such a short time. I don’t know the circumstances as to why you two took in Hitoka-chan so quickly, but I assume that fostering her basically right away was appropriate for the situation. Biological parents have nine months to make lifestyle adjustments and get ready for having a child. The timeline of an average foster or adoption varies, but in a majority of cases the parents at least have more time to prepare than you and Iwaizumi-san did. If you love Iwaizumi-san and Hitoka-chan like I know you do, then you’ll be able to make it work--the knee is just some very unfortunate timing.” 

“I suppose you’re right about that, Bokkun.” Oikawa considers Bokuto’s words. What he says is true, but it’s not like Oikawa isn’t at fault in the situation. He hadn’t been honest with Iwaizumi about so many things, which he knows isn’t fair. They’re married, committed to each other for life, and Oikawa owes it to Iwaizumi to be completely honest about something so important. If he had just told Iwaizumi about the injury or how he felt, then he probably wouldn’t have been sitting in the emergency room in excruciating pain. He figures, though, that he can cut himself some slack. He saw how Keiko had to adjust when she had Takeru, so he knows he can’t expect himself to be perfect. “How did you get so wise about this stuff?” 

“Remember how I told you that I asked ‘Kaashi about having a kid?” Bokuto asks, and Oikawa nods. “Well, we talked about it more and we decided to put in an adoption application, so I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“That’s great, Bokkun. I’m really happy for you guys,” Oikawa says, and he means it. 

“Thanks,” Bokuto replies with a smile. “We’re both a little scared, I think, but since we’re doing it together it’ll be okay.” 

\----

At six, Oikawa gets called in for the MRI and Bokuto promises to wait for him, which Oikawa is very grateful for. The actual procedure doesn’t take too long and he’s back out in the waiting room pretty soon after. The hours tick by after that, with Bokuto and Oikawa making light conversation, and the dread consuming Oikawa actually starts to recede for a moment. Bokuto was always the greatest at cheering someone up. 

That is, until he gets called back by the doctor. Akaashi takes Oikawa back to an exam room with Bokuto tagging along. He gives Oikawa a sad, knowing smile as he closes the door behind him, and Oikawa’s gut plummets. It’s already nine when a tall doctor looking extremely disheveled walks in the room. His hair is cut cleanly but is sticking up in random places, and if Oikawa isn’t mistaken he walks with a slight limp. 

“Are you Oikawa-san?” he asks, sitting down gingerly at the computer in the room. He doesn’t really look at Oikawa and that makes him nervous. 

“That’s me,” he chuckles, trying to lighten the very heavy mood. 

“For some reason your name sounds familiar... not sure how though. Anyway, my name is Hanamaki Takahiro, I’m an orthopedic surgeon who was on-call tonight. Normally I’d do a physical exam before ordering an MRI, but I guess that’s not necessary since you already got one done for whatever reason.” 

Ah, so that’s why he’s in a sour mood. He got called into work on a Friday night. Oikawa would probably be pissed too. “So you injured yourself how?”

“Uh, I’m a professional volleyball player and when I came down from a jump serve my knee gave out.”

“Had your knee been bothering you before that?”

“Yes…” Oikawa admits, and he flinches when Hanamaki looks at him out of the corner of his eye. 

“Alright, well I’m trying to pull up your MRI results right now but this computer is so fuckin’ slow that I want to chuck it across the room,” Hanamaki deadpans, and Oikawa has to pick his jaw up off the ground. He’s not sure if he’s ever met a doctor quite like this, although Matsukawa comes close. 

“Ah here they are,” he says, zooming in on an ugly mess of white blobs. “Oh, you fucked yourself up real good, Oikawa-san. That’s a gnarly ACL tear--ooh, and a ripped up meniscus, although that may have been an existing injury. Damn, dude.” 

Fuck.

Hanamaki spins around in his chair to actually look at Oikawa straight on, but he startles when he turns and sees Bokuto sitting off to the side. 

“Woah, I didn’t even know you were there, bro. Sorry about that.” He doesn’t sound genuine. “Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, even though I’ve done it a million times, but I’m going to recommend reconstructive surgery. You’re in luck, because I’m actually _scheduled_ to work tomorrow and could take you in the morning.” 

“Um… is surgery absolutely necessary?” Oikawa asks, picking at his cuticle. 

“Some knee injuries can be treated with physical therapy, but an ACL tear this severe combined with the meniscus damage will definitely need surgery.” 

“What will happen if I get the surgery? Can I go back to playing?”

“I mean, you _could_ , but you’d definitely be at risk of reinjury. I’m going to keep it real with you, I’m looking at your MRI and your knee is pretty fucked. It’d be at least nine months to a year until you could play again, and like, you have to consider if you think playing again is even worth it, especially since you’re already in your early thirties--no offense. You’re probably going to have chronic arthritic pain which will make it difficult to play, and if you reinjure yourself then that’s only going to make it worse. Do you want to hurt whenever you try to do anything beyond walking? What if you had kids, or something? It would suck to be in too much pain to play with them, or whatever. I don’t know, you have plenty of time to think about it, obviously, but those are my thoughts.” 

Oikawa is silent and his ears are ringing. Everything hurts--not just his knee. It’s like disappointment, or maybe failure, is ripping every cell of his body apart. 

“This is awkward, so I’m going to fit you for a knee brace and write you a prescription for the pain so you can actually get some sleep tonight, and then I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Hanamaki says, and Oikawa wishes he could flee from this situation like that.

“Alright, thanks.” 

Bokuto ends up making conversation with Hanamaki while he fits Oikawa for a brace, which Oikawa is grateful for. There’s too much running through his head he’s not sure he could actually say anything coherent. They finish up and before Hanamaki opens the door to leave, he turns around. 

“Sorry if I’ve been a jackass, bedside manner isn’t exactly my specialty, and normally I don’t get called in unless it's for a real emergency, like, someone’s leg is hanging on by a thread, or their hand gets chopped off, or whatever. I was having quite the exquisite evening until some nurse _insisted_ that I come into work for whatever reason. I forget his name--Takashi? Akashi? I dunno, anyway I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early.” 

He exits the room leaving Oikawa and Bokuto behind. Bokuto breaks the tension in the room with a laugh. “Akaashi’s persuasion works on other people too, apparently. Should we go? I can take you to the pharmacy and the practice facility to grab your bag before I drop you off.” 

He looks at the clock on the wall and sees that it’s already nine-thirty. Another half hour or so isn’t going to matter now. “Sure, Bokkun.” 

Bokuto helps him out to the parking lot, but Oikawa stops him before they actually get to the car. “Bokkun… I just want to say that I really appreciate you being here with me today, I probably couldn’t have gotten through it on my own, even though it’s all my fault,” Oikawa says with a self-deprecating laugh. “It was probably a lot of trouble, so I’m sorry, too.”

Bokuto smiles, radiant even in the dark. “It’s no problem, Oikawa-kun, that’s what friends do!” he laughs. “And you don’t need to be sorry--if you need something, there are so many people who love you who are happy to help, myself included.” 

A little flame of affection burns in Oikawa’s chest. “Thanks, Bokkun. Tell Akaashi I said thank you too.” 

They drive to the practice facility and Bokuto grabs both of their bags, and as soon as they finish at the pharmacy, Oikawa pops one of the painkillers. It’s well into the night and things are starting to quiet down around them. It’s dark, way darker than it would be in a big city, but there are still lights on so that people can find their way. It’s comforting, in an odd sense.

Oikawa is in terrible pain, some asshole doctor basically told him his career is over, his husband likely hates him, and he probably won’t be able to adopt the child that he’s fallen in love with. Essentially, his life has completely fallen apart in the past eight hours. 

Despite that, the sun will rise in the morning whether he likes it or not, and Oikawa will just have to figure his shit out. 

\----

When Oikawa gets home, it's already ten thirty. He expected to see messages from Iwaizumi on his phone, but he kind of thought that there would be more than just two of them, which he doesn’t take that as a good sign. Oikawa hobbles into their bedroom fully expecting to see his husband asleep in bed, and when he doesn’t, he’s confused. Maybe Iwaizumi fell asleep on the couch. 

When he goes to the living room, he finds that he was right. Iwaizumi is asleep sitting up on the couch like some kind of old man. His eyes are puffy, probably from crying, and that makes Oikawa want to cry himself. He sits down on the armchair and takes a deep breath. There’s no game plan, no strategy for how to handle Iwaizumi and whatever he’s feeling, so he just has to buck up and fix this. 

“Hajime, wake up.” 

Iwaizumi stirs a little and rubs at his face. He opens his eyes and his face remains neutral when he sees Oikawa. “Tooru.” 

They sit there and look at each other, and Oikawa is too afraid to speak.

“I’ll start, then,” Iwaizumi says, smacking his lips. “I can’t say that I haven’t made mistakes during all this. In the beginning, I started the paperwork for fostering Hitoka-chan and scheduled our first visit with the social worker without asking you. And I’m sorry about that. But since then, I’ve gotten your permission for basically every single _word_ that I’ve said to Shimizu-san or Hitoka-chan, just like you asked. It’s probably been the craziest few weeks of my adult life, at least emotionally, and there were a lot of times when I gave you the benefit of the doubt and I trusted what you had to say, no matter what, because we’re married and I love you.

“I trusted you earlier today when you said you’d be home in time to say goodbye to Hitoka, but maybe that was a mistake, because you weren’t there. And you _knew_ how important it was. Under other circumstances I might let you off the hook, but you have to understand where I’m coming from right now.

“I know you’ve been lying to me about multiple things and you've been making excuses as to why you haven’t been home as much. You’ve been skittish around me. Matsukawa, Sugawara, and even Akaashi have said things to me that made me question if you’ve been telling me the truth. So, I’ll just ask you this outright: did you ever even want to foster Hitoka-chan in the first place? Or were you just trying to go along with what I wanted?” 

Oikawa hates that he used the past tense. “Of course I wanted to, Hajime, I still want to, it’s just--” 

“Then why? Why have you been lying to me?” Iwaizumi asks, voice controlled. “Am I not good enough for you? Are _we_ not good enough for you?”

That makes Oikawa mad, that Iwaizumi would even _dare_ think that. It’s insulting to both of them, the thought that Oikawa would lie to Iwaizumi about that. Oikawa has reassured Iwaizumi of himself constantly since the day they met, and he can’t help but let his anger show in his words.

“Could you chill with your inferiority complex, Hajime? You know that’s not true.” 

Iwaizumi’s face gets red. “What’s so important to you then that you’d prioritize it over family? Is it volleyball?”

“Listen, I know you’ve always been fucking jealous of me going pro or whatever, but that’s not it either.” 

“Low blow, asshole, and you know that,” Iwaziumi says, hands balled into fists on his lap. “If Hitoka-chan and I actually _are_ more important to you than volleyball, then once in a while maybe you could stand to actually be home with us and not at practice or wherever the fuck--”

“Well you’re in luck, Iwa-chan, because I won’t be playing at all anymore. You’ll have me all to yourself from now on,” Oikawa says, voice laced with sarcasm and venom. 

Iwaizumi looks at him cautiously before speaking. “What are you talking about, Tooru?”

Oikawa can’t take it anymore. He feels the tears starting and he covers his eyes with trembling hands. “My knee gave out at practice today. That’s where I’ve been the whole day--at the hospital, waiting around at the fucking ER. It’s so fucked up--I tore my ACL and my meniscus is trashed too. I’m having reconstructive surgery tomorrow morning, and I won’t be back to normal for at least nine months to a year, and beyond that--I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to, or will even _want_ to play volleyball anymore.” 

“Oh my god, Tooru,” Iwaizumi breathes, and he falls to the ground at Oikawa’s feet, careful not to touch his knee. Iwaizumi pulls one of his hands down from his face and holds it to his lips.

“That’s what’s been wrong this whole time, my fucking knee,” Oikawa sobs, and he can’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. “I lied about practice to go to physical therapy and I’ve been avoiding doing things because my knee has been hurting so fucking bad. I went and saw Matsukawa, so that’s probably why he said something to you, and Bokuto has known about this for a while and probably told Akaashi. Fuck, I didn’t even realize that you and Akaashi even knew each other until I saw him at the ER today. And I don’t know what the fuck Sugawara said to you, but if it was about Hitoka-chan then it was a lie. Everything I’ve told you about her has been the truth--I love her so much and want so desperately for her to be part of our family.” 

Oikawa cries harder when he sees that Iwaizumi has started to cry too. “Tooru, why didn’t you say something before? None of this would have happened if--”

“I know, Hajime, I know I should have told you earlier, and I know that everything is my fault. But I couldn’t tell you, okay? It would have worried you too much--”

“Fuck that!” Iwaizumi shouts, and Oikawa winces at the way his voice echoes off the walls. Iwaizumi mutters something under his breath and kisses the back of Oikawa’s hand in apology. “Who fucking cares if it would have worried me, Tooru? You’re way more important than my--” 

“No, Hajime! Stop, whatever you were going to say, just stop. You and your feelings are important, okay? If you ever try to say something like that again I’ll kick your ass,” Oikawa says. He laughs, weakly, but they both know that he’s dead serious. “I wanted to tell you, I did, but I couldn’t make you upset. You said it yourself, these past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster--but I can tell that you’ve been happy. Getting to know Hitoka-chan and taking care of her has made you happy, and I’ve missed happy Iwa-chan. You were so sad before, even if you never said it or never even knew it yourself, I know you were.” 

Iwaizumi opens his mouth to say something and then snaps it shut. He looks resigned as he stares at the ground, and Oikawa can feel his hands shaking. 

“You’re right, Tooru. You’re right about that. But even so, you can’t do this. You can’t try and take care of everything by yourself just to spare other people. I’m your husband, I’m here to help you and take care of you whenever you need it, regardless of how I’m feeling. I don’t care what the circumstances are, you can’t ever hide something this important from me again,” Iwaizumi says. “Promise me that you won’t.” 

Any other version of him, from any day prior to today, would fight Iwaizumi on that. He would say that he can handle things on his own, that he doesn’t need help. But he’s exhausted from years shouldering things on his own and he wants to be selfish. Oikawa takes a shuddering breath. “I promise, Hajime.” 

Iwaizumi smiles at him, earnestly, and Oikawa can’t believe how lucky he is. Despite having one of the shittiest days of his life, he still has people that love him, and he’s married to the most beautiful, amazing person that he could ever ask for. He’s so incredibly lucky. “So you’re not mad?”

“Oh my god, Tooru. I’m fucking _furious_ , you have no idea, and we have much more talking to do. But that’s not important right now. Right now, you’re the priority whether you like it or not, and right now you need to blow your nose and go to sleep so you can rest for your surgery, okay?” 

“Okay,” Oikawa sniffles. “Oh, Iwa-chan, I forgot to ask. Can you take me to the hospital tomorrow?”

“Obviously, dumbass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall... its not directly related to the story but pls look at this iwaoi [fanart](https://keys-stars.tumblr.com/post/618956183357816832/iwaoi-commission-and-a-lil-extra-doodle-cause) that my friend did. iTS SO CUTE


	9. 09

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate the way this chapter turned out lol

“Tooru, it’s time to wake up,” Iwaizumi whispers, kissing Oikawa lightly on the cheek. Oikawa groans and rolls over, still half asleep, but he’s startled awake by pain when he accidentally puts weight onto his knee. 

“Ow ow ow ow,” he whines, curling in on himself. 

“Oh god, Tooru, are you okay?”

Oikawa insists that he’s fine but Iwaizumi fusses over him anyway, helping him out of bed and to the car. When Oikawa whines multiple times about being hungry, Iwaizumi has to remind him several times that he can’t eat before the surgery. “We can stop anywhere you want for food afterward, Hungrykawa.” 

The two of them go into the waiting area for the operating room, which is sort of amusing to Iwaizumi. He’s never been on the other side of the pre-op brief before. When the surgeon walks into thet waiting area, Iwaizumi is surprised to see that he is around their age. Most surgeons are old and crusty. He hobbles in like a crusty old man, though, barely concealing what seems to be a limp.

“Hey hey, Oikawa-san,” he says, and then his eyes fall onto Iwaizumi. “Who’s this hunk?”

Iwaizumi blushes violently. Even though he’s heard it from Oikawa thousands of times, he still gets flustered at the notion of someone finding him attractive. “I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, Oikawa’s husband.” 

“Damn, Oikawa-san scored big time. I’m Hanamaki Takahiro, the orthopedic surgeon for today’s procedure, but my good-looking patients call me Makki. Wait a second, I think I know you--didn’t Mattsun stop to talk to you that one time?”

Ah, that time when Matsukawa asked him about Oikawa. It’s a moment Iwaizumi doesn’t care to remember, although Hanamaki’s face is starting to come back to him. “Oh yeah, I think I remember you too. I’m a trauma surgeon here.” 

“Oh shit, really? Thank god… do you mind taking this one today, then? I totally would, but I had an _eventful_ evening yesterday and would like to go back to sleep. A rugged, strapping man like you should have no problem with a little knee reconstruction, right?” 

Oikawa’s eyes are owlishly wide and Iwaizumi’s jaw drops. He’s never thought about operating on his own husband, and the notion makes him so nervous that he starts to get nauseous. “I-- I mean--” 

“Totally kidding dude, you should have seen the look on your face though,” Hanamaki says, flipping through some paperwork on a clipboard he’s holding. “I’m a total shithead, if you haven’t noticed--I’m friends with Matsukawa, so I don’t know how you could have expected otherwise. Don’t worry though, I’m a good surgeon unless I sneeze during the procedure and my hand slips.” 

Iwaizumi isn’t sure that he’s ever been this nauseous in his life.

“Are you and Matsukawa close?” Oikawa asks, with a nervous chuckle. 

“Ha, you could say that, I suppose,” Hanamaki snorts. “We sure were close last night, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I’m gonna go over the procedure with you, and then the anesthesiologist will be here to give you the good juice before I slice ‘ya open.” 

It’s actually kind of funny how different Iwaizumi and this gentleman handle pre-op briefings. Does Hanamaki trigger minor heart attacks in _all_ of his patients? He explains the procedure and Iwaizumi is disturbed by how extensive the damage in Oikawa’s knee seems to be. Hanamaki leaves to get washed up and Iwaizumi scoots up to Oikawa’s bed and holds his hand, thumb rubbing gently over his knuckles. A few minutes later the anesthesiologist walks in.

“Hello Oikawa-san, I’m Michimiya Yui--your anesthesiologist for today,” she says with a smile. 

When she spots Iwaizumi she straightens up and starts playing with the front strand of her hair. “Oh, Doctor Iwaizumi! I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Are you two..” she trails off, eyes flickering between them.

Michimiya is another one of Iwaizumi’s favorite coworkers. She’s skilled and is great at keeping patients calm before surgery--which is very important when people come in needing emergency procedures from Iwaizumi. She always seems nervous around him though, for some reason. He’s not sure why. 

“Oikawa is my husband. I’m glad to see that you’re on duty today, Doctor Michimiya, you’re the best at what you do in the whole building.” 

She flushes _violently_ , stuttering something Iwaizumi isn’t quite in the headspace to understand, but then she lights up in realization. “Oh, you guys are fostering Yachi Hitoka, right? Excuse me for asking, but I’ve been so curious about her.”

Iwaizumi averts his eyes, and he hears Oikawa shuffle uncomfortably in the hospital bed. He hasn’t been brave enough to think about Hitoka since last night. Michimiya starts to look mortified when she notices how downtrodden they seem, so Iwaizumi speaks up for her sake. 

“Um, yeah, we are. How did you know?” 

“I don’t mean to be nosy, I’ve just heard about it from Suga, Kiyoko, and Daichi. We’re all friends from way back in high school.” 

“Wow, was this a school for beautiful people?” Oikawa says, with a charming smile. Leave it to Oikawa to be his usual, flirtatious self, right before having a knee reconstruction. Michimiya sputters something again, but regains her composure quickly and starts to go through the anesthesia process with Oikawa.

“How are you feeling about the procedure today, Oikawa-san?”

“I’m a little nervous. Doctor Hanamaki is… interesting.” 

Michimiya laughs. “I understand. He definitely jokes around way more than he should, but he gets away with it because he’s the most decorated orthopedic surgeon in the area. I always nag him to be more professional because his patients are all tense when I come to administer the anesthesia for the procedure, but you’re in good hands with him, trust me.” 

That seems to relax Oikawa, which in turn relaxes Iwaizumi a little bit. Michimiya inserts the IV and Oikawa’s grip on Iwaizumi’s hand quickly goes lax. His eyes flutter, struggling to stay open, and Iwaizumi has to tell himself over and over that he’ll be okay. “I love you, Tooru. I’ll be here when you’re all done.” 

Oikawa hums and smiles sleepily at him. “I love you too, Hajime.” He gets rolled off to the OR, and Iwaizumi finds his way to the waiting room with a sigh. 

\----

After an excruciating two and a half hours Hanamaki comes to fetch Iwaizumi from the waiting room. Iwaizumi scrambles to his feet and nearly grabs Hanamaki’s coat in panic. “How did it go?”

“No need to worry dude, everything went great,” Hanamaki says with his hands up in surrender, and Iwaizumi deflates in relief. “Oikawa-san will be coming off anesthesia soon, you should probably be there when we go over post-op care. You already know this, but he might be a little loopy when he wakes up. I’ll give you all of the post-op instructions in writing so that he can read them later in case he doesn’t remember everything right now.” 

Iwaizumi follows him to Oikawa’s recovery room and as soon as they get there he pulls up a chair to Oikawa’s bedside and scratches lightly at his scalp. His face is perfectly relaxed, and his pink lips are parted slightly with steady breaths. His long eyelashes fan out over his cheeks and his skin is lovely and smooth. He’s so beautiful and Iwaizumi loves him so much. 

After a few minutes Oikawa’s eyes flutter open and Iwaizumi watches his eyes focus, adjusting to the surroundings. He must sense Iwaizumi to his side, because he turns his head a little and a sleepy, handsome smile spreads across his face. “You’re cute. Cute baby hedgehog Iwa-chan.” 

Iwaizumi’s face bursts into flames and Hanamaki snickers off in the corner. “ _Hedgehog_? Oh man, that’s good. I’m totally telling Matsukawa you said that, Oikawa-san,” he laughs, wiping a fake tear from the corner of his eye.

Hanamaki starts to go over post-op care and Oikawa listens intently, or at least as intently as he can considering he only regained consciousness a few minutes ago. Iwaizumi barely takes his eyes off of Oikawa and keeps combing through his hair. 

“Well, that about covers it, Oikawa-san. I’m going to give you written instructions too because you’re high as a kite and your husband is so disgustingly in love with you that he can’t pay attention to anything besides your face,” Hanamaki drones. Iwaizumi just smiles, because he’s right. “Don’t change the setting on your knee brace and call if anything seems weird. Once your husband is done sucking your toes, he can help you with everything.”

Oikawa hums. “Silly Makki, Iwa-chan doesn’t suck my toes! Although, he does suck my--”

“I think we should get going, Tooru,” Iwaizumi says, face flaming for the nth time. He helps get Oikawa up on crutches and pulls the car around for him. Oikawa orders an absurd amount of food from a fast food drive through and eats all of it on the way home, which is amusing to Iwaizumi because most patients are nauseous coming off anesthesia. 

Iwaizumi helps Oikawa back into the house, has him take one of the prescribed painkillers, and sets him up on the couch with his foot elevated. Iwaizumi isn’t even the one who just had a life-altering surgery, but he’s exhausted anyway and plops down in the chair. “How are you feeling, Tooru?” 

“It’s starting to hurt, I think the anesthesia is worn off now, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa sighs. “I think I should call Shimizu-san and tell her what happened… do you think that’s a good idea?” 

“What are you going to say to her?”

“I’ll say that I was in the hospital yesterday and I’m very sorry that I couldn’t be there to say goodbye, but that you and I love Hitoka-chan and want her to be part of our family for good and if given the chance, she’ll be our number-one priority, unconditionally.” 

Iwaizumi sighs, but there’s a small smile on his face. “I’ll go get your phone, Tooru.” 

\----

Iwaizumi needs a massage. It hasn’t been very long since the surgery, but Oikawa is dependent on him for almost everything and it's exhausting. He can move himself around their house, but his mobility is poor and he can’t drive himself anywhere, but Iwaizumi doesn’t mind taking care of him at all, despite how tired he is. Shimizu told them that things are still to go as planned with Hitoka, but she didn’t hesitate to very politely chew Oikawa out over the phone. The catch is that Oikawa has to get off crutches before Hitoka can come back to stay with them, so that Oikawa is fit to take care of her on his own while Iwaizumi isn’t home. 

In true Oikawa fashion, he’s been pouring every ounce of energy into his physical therapy. 

“Iwa-chan, you have the day off tomorrow, right?”

Oikawa’s head rests in Iwaizumi’s lap with his foot up on the arm of the couch. He holds Iwaizumi’s hand with one of his and the other is tracing the contours of Iwaizumi’s face, featherlight fingers running over the slope of his nose and cheekbones like Oikawa is trying to commit him to memory again, even though they’ve spent an eternity learning each other already. 

“Yeah, do you have plans or something?” 

“Mm, I scheduled another physical therapy appointment,” he says, trailing his fingertips along Iwaizumi’s jaw. “Can you take me?” 

“Are you supposed to be doing this much physical therapy? You’re only a couple weeks out since your surgery.”

“I’m supposed to be doing the recovery exercises everyday anyway, I figure if I go to physical therapy more it’s only going to help me get off crutches faster. Plus it's covered in my contract with the team, so it’s not like we have to pay more.” 

Iwaizumi looks down at him and smiles. “Of course I can take you, Tooru. I was thinking that we could go visit Hitoka-chan too.” 

Oikawa had also insisted that they visit Hitoka even while she couldn’t stay with them. Iwaizumi was one hundred percent in support of the idea, of course. She was excited to see them but they were probably even more excited to see her. 

“Yeah, we should. I miss her.”

“When she comes to stay with us for good, it’ll probably be hard on us sometimes,” Iwaizumi says, but he doesn’t sound too worried. “We have to make sure that we’re open with each other no matter what.”

“You’re right Hajime. Since we’re being open, I should probably tell you that I might have ordered an irresponsible amount of clothes for her,” Oikawa giggles, and Iwaizumi pinches his cheek in faux punishment. 

“I forgive you this time, Tooru. But don’t do it again--because next time I want to help pick stuff out for her. I can’t have her entire wardrobe be alien-themed,” he jokes. Oikawa laughs and Iwaizumi’s stomach flips with how earnest it is. They make easy conversation as the sun sets outside their window.

A knock on the front door startles both of them. Iwaizumi gets up to answer it, despite Oikawa’s pouting. He’s shocked when he sees who’s knocking. 

“Nurse Sugawara, we weren’t expecting you.” 

Sugawara is standing there holding a stack of containers full of food, looking unsure of himself. “Um, I heard about Oikawa-san’s injury so I thought I would bring some food for you in case you don’t have time to cook, or whatever. Is Oikawa-san here?”

“Yeah, he’s in the living room. Do you want to come in?” 

Sugawara nods and slips his shoes off by the door. Iwaizumi thanks him for the food and puts it in the refrigerator, and then takes him into the living room to see Oikawa. “Iwa-chan, come back,” he whines, not realizing they have company. 

“Oikawa-san?” Sugawara says, and Oikawa’s eyes snap open. He looks at Iwaizumi in a panic, but Iwaizumi just shakes his head, helps Oikawa sit up, and sits down on the couch next to him. Sugawara sits in the armchair and clears his throat. “I just wanted to say sorry for what I said to you at the store.” 

Iwaizumi’s mind blanks, but then he remembers what Daichi had told him. “Oh yeah, what the _fuck_ happened between you two at the grocery store?” 

“I saw Oikawa-san and Hitoka-chan there and told Oikawa-san that you shouldn’t have trusted him alone with Hitoka-chan for the weekend, among other things,” he answers Iwaizumi, and then turns to Oikawa. “I was way out of line saying that to you and I totally deserved that roast you laid on me right after,” he laughs. 

“I shouldn’t have said anything to you way back either, Doctor Iwaizumi. Kiyoko has said multiple times that she thinks you guys will be good parents, but I was stubborn and didn’t want to believe her. I always felt very protective of Hitoka-chan while I was taking care of her mom, and I let that cloud my judgement of you two as parents--not that it was even my place to judge in the first place.” 

Oikawa looks shell-shocked. “Shimizu-san said we would be good parents?” 

“Yeah she has, more than once. I think one time she even told me that you guys were a perfect fit for Hitoka-chan,” Sugawara says. The shock must be evident on Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s faces, because he chuckles. “I guess that comes as a shock to you, which isn’t surprising. I know how unreadable Kiyoko can be.” 

Iwaizumi takes Oikawa’s hand in his, and Oikawa clears his throat. “I forgive you for what you said… I know you care a lot about Hitoka-chan, so I don’t blame you for wanting what’s best for her.” 

Sugawara sighs in relief. “Thanks, Oikawa-san.” 

“Besides, it will be good for Hitoka-chan to have you and Daichi in her life. Hopefully Shouyou-kun and her can be friends too,” Iwaizumi says. 

“Oh man, speaking of Shouyou,” Sugawara sighs. “Have you guys looked into preschools yet? Daichi and I have to start enrollment for Shouyou soon, all the spots at the best schools fill up fast.” 

When Sugawara mentions school, suddenly everything feels very, _very_ real to Iwaizumi. Hitoka would soon be starting preschool and wouldn’t be home with them all the time anymore. He and Oikawa would have to send her away to some teacher for hours at a time with a bunch of other kids--is the teacher going to be qualified? What if there are too many kids and the teacher can’t spend enough time with Hitoka? What if the kids are mean and Iwaizumi has to chew out their parents? He can only imagine how much of a wreck he’ll be when they drop her off the first day of school. 

Beyond that, God willing, they’ll be with Hitoka when she learns to read, makes her first friend, finds her first girlfriend or boyfriend, learns to drive, graduates--everything. It puts Iwaizumi on edge--he isn’t sure if he’s terrified or excited. 

But, when he looks to his side at Oikawa and sees him content, with a gentle smile on his face, he knows that everything will be okay, because he’ll have his husband by his side the whole way. There’s no doubt in his mind. 

“If you guys haven’t looked at preschools yet, don’t worry, ‘cause I have the hookup for the best ones,” Suga says. “Maybe Shouyou and Hitoka-chan can be in the same class!” 

Oikawa laughs. “We would really like that, Sugawara-san.” 

\----

“Doctor Iwaizumi!” 

Iwaizumi freezes. He’s right at the end of his shift and he _prays_ that it's not someone telling him that a patient has come in needing a four hour procedure. To his relief, it’s only Akaashi calling out for him down the hall. 

“How is Oikawa-san doing?” 

“He’s doing good, actually. He’s at his four-week post-op appointment right now so when my shift is done I’m going to pick him up,” Iwaizumi says. “How is the adoption going? Oikawa told me that you guys submitted an application.” 

Akaashi sighs. “It’s a long process, so there hasn’t been much progress honestly. But Bokuto-san and I are optimistic that everything will go well.” 

Iwaizumi frowns. “How long until the actual adoption, do you think?” 

“Well, it depends. Bokuto-san and I are going to try and become foster parents first, which will speed up the process. It’ll likely take over a year to actually have an adoption finalized, though.” 

“That’s a long time to wait.” 

Akaashi smiles, knowingly. “I don’t think you need to worry, Doctor Iwaizumi. You and Oikawa-san are already much farther along in the process. You’ll be able to have Hitoka-chan in your home indefinitely soon and at that point, it’s just about waiting for the actual court date.” 

That puts Iwaizumi at ease slightly, but an irrational part of himself tells him that the longer they have to wait, the more likely it is that something will go wrong. “I suppose you’re right, Nurse Akaashi. I’ll let you get back to work, now.” 

Iwaizumi’s shift is over so he signs out and walks through the halls to where Oikawa’s appointment should be wrapping up. What if things fall through with Hitoka? What if Shimizu feels like they aren’t suited to be parents anymore and she revokes their foster certification? Iwaizumi isn’t sure he could take the heartbreak if that were the case. He’s so anxious that his palms sweat. 

“Iwa-chan!” 

He snaps out of it and sees Oikawa rounding the corner with a huge smile on his face, and god, he looks so beautiful. So beautiful that it takes him a moment to notice that Oikawa is walking without crutches. Iwaizumi runs to his husband and pulls him into a tight hug. He giggles and it makes Iwaizumi’s heart flutter in his chest. 

“So affectionate, Iwa-chan, I didn’t know you missed me that much,” Oikawa laughs. “Doc said that my recovery is going really well, and I’m cleared to walk without crutches from now on.” 

Iwaizumi squeezes him and then pulls away to look at him. “I’m really proud of you, Tooru.” 

Oikawa blushes bright red with a shy smile, and says what Iwaizumi has wanted to say for four weeks. “You think we can go pick up Hitoka-chan now?” 

\----

A few days later, the two of them are sitting in the car outside child services. Iwaizumi is in the driver’s seat and even though the engine is off, he’s still gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. Oikawa reaches out and smooths the creases between his eyebrows that he barely even realized were there, but as soon as he drops his hand Iwaizumi’s face tenses up again. 

“What’s wrong, Iwa-chan?” 

“I’m not sure… maybe I’m just a little nervous. What if Hitoka-chan doesn’t want to come with us?”

“You can’t be serious, Hajime. Shimizu told us how excited she is!” Oikawa says, resting his hand on Iwaizumi’s leg. “Let’s go, I know you’re dying to see her.” 

Oikawa holds Iwaizumi’s hand as they walk in, and when they get to the front desk the receptionist tells them to go to Shimizu’s office. Iwaizumi knows that Oikawa can feel how sweaty his palms are but he’s too anxious to feel embarrassed. Shimizu is typing on her computer when they walk in, and Iwaizumi can feel his blood pressure spiking.

Shimizu closes her computer and gestures them in. “I was pleased to hear that your recovery is going well, Oikawa-san. How are you two doing?” Her words are simple but the two of them both know what she’s actually asking about. Iwaizumi gulps, and prays that she doesn’t take out the dreaded notebook. 

“Better,” Oikawa says, softly. “I was wrong to hide my injury from Hajime and I know that now.”

“And I should have just tried to talk to Tooru as soon as I could tell that something was off.” Iwaizumi looks at his husband and squeezes his hand. “We know that having a child will be challenging at times, but we’ve promised to talk about issues as soon as they come up so that something like this doesn’t happen again.” 

“We just want to give Hitoka-chan the best home possible.” 

Shimizu smiles at them, and Iwaizumi feels himself relax, infinitesimally. 

“I know you do, you two wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe that,” Shimizu assures them, and clears her throat. “What I really wanted to talk to you about is something that I asked about when we first met. Are you still interested in adopting Hitoka-chan?” 

“Yes,” Oikawa and Iwaizumi say at the same time. 

“I’m glad to hear that. If you would like, I can start your paperwork later today just to get the process started.” 

“That would be amazing, Shimizu-san,” Oikawa says. “We would appreciate it.” 

“Great. Shall we go get Hitoka-chan?”

\-----

One week later, the three of them are sitting on the living room floor. There are toys scattered everywhere that Iwaizumi knows he’ll have to pick up, but he feels surprisingly content. Hitoka must be feeling talkative because she’s babbling on about the doll that she's playing with, tugging on Oikawa’s sleeve so that he listens to her. It’s impossible to understand what she’s saying, but whatever she’s talking about must be _very_ serious, considering how intently she tells them about it. After a while she trails off, happy to play quietly, and Iwaizumi is more than happy to watch her. 

Oikawa elbows him gently. “Ask her,” he whispers, scratching lightly at Iwaizumi’s back. 

Dread isn’t quite the right word to describe what he feels when he thinks about the question he knows Oikawa is talking about. Maybe it’s a combination of excitement and dread--it’s a question that he’s wanted to ask for so long, but one that will _kill_ him if he doesn’t get the answer he’s hoping for. Now is probably as good a time as any--this way, Iwaizumi won’t have hours upon hours to freak out about it beforehand. He takes a deep breath and looks at Oikawa, who gives him an encouraging nod. 

“Hitoka-chan?” 

She looks at Iwaizumi with her big eyes and ruddy cheeks, and Iwaizumi’s chest aches with affection. “Can we talk to you about something?” 

“M’kay,” Hitoka hums, still holding her doll. Oikawa’s hand rubs soothing circles on Iwaizumi’s back. 

“Would you like to stay here with us?” Iwaizumi gulps.

“Stay here?”

God, Iwaizumi isn’t sure he can do this. But he wants to--he has to. “Yes, stay here with Tooru and I.” 

“No go back?” she asks, brow furrowed like she’s confused.

Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa for support, but when he sees the tears shining in Oikawa’s eyes he struggles to hold back his own. “No, you wouldn’t go back. This would be your house.” 

She still doesn't understand, and Iwaizumi feels himself trembling. His heart pounds in his chest and he isn’t sure that he can breathe--he thanks God when Oikawa steps in. 

“Hajime and I want to be your parents, Hitoka-chan.” 

Hitoka goes deathly still and stares up at them, a blank expression in her chocolate-brown eyes like she doesn’t believe them. “Haji ‘n ‘Ru… mine?” 

Iwaizumi can’t stop his tears. “That’s right, Hitoka-chan. We would be your parents.” 

Hitoka’s bottom lip trembles and she drops the doll she’s holding. She approaches them, tentatively, almost like she’s afraid. She places her tiny palm on Iwaizumi’s damp cheek and he shakes, violently, but puts his hand on top of hers. His heart is beating out of his chest and there’s bile rising up his throat, but he knows he has to keep it together.“Would you like that, Hitoka-chan?” 

After a painfully long moment, she smiles, and Iwaizumi feels relief starting to flood his veins. “Yeah,” Hitoka says. “Want Haji n’ Ru.” 

Iwaizumi _sobs_ , and pulls Hitoka close in a desperate hug. Oikawa laughs, incredulous, and wraps his arms around both of them. Iwaizumi feels his tears wetting his shirt but he doesn’t care, not when he’s so deliriously happy.


	10. epilogue

_Six months later._

Soft light shines through the gauzy curtains of Iwaizumi’s bedroom on a Monday morning. Iwaizumi rolls over to see his sleeping husband sprawled out on his stomach, the sun painting stripes of light across the smooth skin on his back. The bed is warm but not too hot, and Iwaizumi thinks that he could live in this bubble of serenity for the rest of his life. The peaceful moment is disturbed, though, when a screeching toddler pushes open the door crashes into the room. Iwaizumi sits up and rubs at his eyes.

“Papa!” Hitoka squeals, bounding up onto the bed and into Iwaizumi’s arms. She wraps her arms around his neck and presses her cheek against his shoulder. He chuckles and hugs her back, smelling the sugary scent of kid’s shampoo mixed with whatever essential oil Oikawa put in the diffuser before they went to sleep. 

“What are you so excited about this morning?” Iwaizumi asks, kissing the top of her head.

“It’s ‘doption day!” 

Oikawa rolls onto his back next to them and smiles, awake from the commotion. “Adoption day? Are you sure, Hitoka-chan?” 

“Yeah Daddy! ‘Doption day!” Hitoka shouts, climbing out of Iwaizumi’s hold and flopping down on her back onto Oikawa. He wheezes from the sudden weight of her on his chest but breathes a laugh. 

“Well we’d better get ready, Hitoka-chan,” Iwaizumi says, petting her messy blonde hair. “What would you like for breakfast?”

“Pancakes!” Hitoka smacks him playfully on the arm, offended that he would even need to ask. She begged for pancakes every morning and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but indulge her, probably more than he should. Iwaizumi blows a raspberry on her round tummy and she giggles; the twinkling sound of her laughter always makes Iwaizumi smile. 

“Well, why don’t I start on the pancakes and Daddy can help you get ready.”

Iwaizumi can’t help but make the pancakes with chocolate chips as an extra treat and he even makes a smiley face with whipped cream on Hitoka’s pancake. After a few minutes Hitoka emerges from her room in one of her favorite outfits and her hair styled in pigtail braids. Oikawa had definitely improved in his hair-styling skills compared to a few months ago when he stayed up at night watching video tutorials on how to braid hair. 

Hitoka’s happy shrieks when she sees the chocolate chips are worth whatever scolding Iwaizumi will get later from Oikawa for spoiling her. How can he _not _spoil her? Although she’s such a different little girl compared to when they first met her, Iwaizumi still feels a sense of relief when he sees her happy and smiling, like a three-year-old child should be.__

__Iwaizumi and Oikawa plop her down in front of the TV to occupy her while the two of them get ready for the day. Oikawa wraps his arms around Iwaizumi from behind as he’s buttoning up his dress shirt. He kisses behind Iwaizumi’s ear and Iwaizumi’s heart flutters in his chest. “You know Iwa-chan, it’s not good for Hitoka to have so much sugar at breakfast.”_ _

__“Today is special for her, Tooru. And you know I can’t resist spoiling her.”_ _

__Oikawa chuckles. “I know, Hajime. Today is special for all of us.”_ _

__Iwaizumi watches his husband dress, and if Oikawa knew how intently Iwaizumi was looking at him he would tease Iwaizumi mercilessly. He can’t help it though, not when the sunlight streaming in through the bedroom window frames Oikawa perfectly. He knows they have to leave soon to go to the courthouse, but he indulges himself for a moment. It’s a beautiful day._ _

__Oikawa crosses the room with his usual elegance and starts to do up the necktie draped over Iwaizumi’s shoulders. Iwaizumi lifts his chin to give Oikawa enough space to tie it properly, and he’s startled when Oikawa nips lightly at his jaw. “You know, Iwa-chan, in a couple hours you'll officially be a DILF.”_ _

__“What the hell is a DILF?”_ _

__“Dad I’d like to fuck.”_ _

__“As if,`” Iwaizumi scoffs, rolling his eyes._ _

__Oikawa looks genuinely offended when Iwaizumi lowers his chin to look at him. “Iwa-chan, do you even understand what DILFs are? You’re a _definition_ DILF--ruggedly handsome, amazing with kids, the type of guy that makes you want to settle down and have a family,” he says, kissing Iwaizumi on the cheek. “And the type who you want to fuck your brains out.” _ _

__“Do you have to be so gross, Nastykawa?” Iwaizumi says, shoulder-checking Oikawa and going to the bathroom so he can look in the mirror and finish tying the tie himself. Oikawa’s cackling rings through the house and Iwaizumi cracks a tiny smile despite himself._ _

__Oikawa takes forever to perfect his hair so Iwaizumi sits on the couch and watches TV with Hitoka. He’s come to genuinely like the loud, nonsensical children’s television that Hitoka watches--not that he’d ever tell that to Oikawa. He would never let Iwaizumi live that down. Luckily, though, Daichi is happy to discuss the nuances of Peppa Pig whenever their lunch breaks sync up._ _

__Oikawa emerges from the bedroom with his hair perfectly coiffed, looking as handsome as he ever has. “Ready to go, my loves?”_ _

__Hitoka climbs off the couch and races over to Oikawa. He picks her up and kisses her cheek, and Iwaizumi wraps his arms around both of them. “How does your knee feel?”_ _

__“Good! And before you ask, yes I am telling the truth,” Oikawa laughs._ _

__Iwaizumi drives them to the courthouse and Hitoka is chatty the entire way there, asking questions about things outside the window, or things that made no sense to either of them. They respond happily to her either way. Sugawara hooked them up with the attorney he and Daichi hired when they adopted Shouyou, who meets them outside. Iwaizumi has to chase after Hitoka and stop her from jumping into the fountain outside the building, which he finds funny considering how scared she was to take a bath when they first got her._ _

__They’re a few minutes early but the courtroom is empty, so they take their seats up at the front of the room. Hitoka sits on Oikawa’s lap and starts to play with the ends of his hair, but based on his face, he’s too enamoured with her to be upset that she’s ruining his hard work from earlier in the morning._ _

__Visitors start to trickle in, sitting on the benches in the back of the courtroom. Keiko sits towards the front with a rambunctious Takeru, and Shimizu, Michimiya, Daichi, and Sugawara sit together, taking turns entertaining the energetic bundle that is Shouyou. Bokuto and Akaashi are there with their new foster child Kei--a little boy with blonde hair and glasses, the same age as Hitoka and Shouyou. Mattsun and Makki even show up, sitting together and not-so-subtly holding hands._ _

__The judge takes a seat on the podium and Iwaizumi and Oikawa are sworn in, under oath. It’s finally happening--Iwaizumi and Oikawa are officially going to be parents. He felt like it was never actually going to happen, and yet at the same time it feels so right. The judge goes over the basic questions that the attorney prepared them for--when they got married, where they lived, their jobs. “Yachi Hitoka’s caseworker is Shimizu Kiyoko, correct?” the judge asks, flipping through papers on the podium._ _

__When Iwaizumi gives him the affirmative he barely acknowledges the response, and that makes Iwaizumi sick to his stomach._ _

__“Is Shimizu-san here today?”_ _

__Shimizu stands up, tall and confident. “Yes, your honor. May I make a statement, please?”_ _

__That catches the judge’s attention, and Iwaizumi’s stomach drops through the floor. They had been in consistent contact with Shimizu throughout the adoption application process, and she hadn’t said _anything_ about speaking at the finalization hearing. Sensing his distress, Oikawa reaches out for Iwaizumi’s hand. The warmth of his palm is comforting, if only slightly. _ _

__“Yes, you may,” the judge says, setting down the stack of papers. All attention turns to her and Iwaizumi’s heart is in his throat._ _

__“As a foster and adoption case worker, I see a lot of children and a lot of prospective parents come through. I’m aware of my reputation in child services as well--I’m picky about placements and critical of prospective parents. Some of the prospects coming through are well suited, but a lot of them aren’t. Every child, however, is special and deserves the absolute best, no matter what. Hitoka-chan, from the beginning, has been extra special to me. I was assigned as her case worker and I knew that Hitoka-chan needed the absolute _best_ possible placement, and I was ready to be _hyper_ -critical of her potential foster parents.”_ _

__Iwaizumi braces himself for the absolute worst._ _

__“I didn’t expect to find such a perfect match for Hitoka-chan, especially considering Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-san were the first prospective parents I met with. I could tell they were well suited from the first time I saw them interact with Hitoka-chan. Sometimes I worry about children after they’re placed and I have to prepare myself to terminate the placement once I make the initial home visits. That was never the case with Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-san. There is no doubt in my mind that they will provide a loving, nurturing home for her. Hitoka-chan, Oikawa-san, and Iwaizumi-san are all very lucky to have each other.”_ _

__Iwaizumi feels himself beaming and Oikawa is smiling just as brightly. He grins at Hitoka as Oikawa bounces her happily in his lap and she giggles when Iwaizumi reaches out to cup her cheek. The love he feels is overwhelming. When he looks back up at the podium, the judge is smiling too and his heart is at ease._ _

__“Thank you Shimizu-san, that was lovely,” the judge says. “Will Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san please rise?”_ _

__They stand up. Iwaizumi swells with pride as the judge goes through the standard questions under oath._ _

__“Do you promise to provide Yachi Hitoka with a loving home?”_ _

__Oikawa and Iwaizumi look at each other. “Yes, we do,” Oikawa replies._ _

__“It is my honor to grant the petition of Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru for the adoption of Yachi Hitoka,” the judge says, banging his gavel on the podium. “Congratulations to the three of you.”_ _

__The room erupts into applause and Iwaizumi hugs Oikawa and Hitoka--unbelievably relieved and happy. He laughs, incredulous, and feels himself tearing up--but this time they’re joyful tears. Iwaizumi holds his family close for a moment, basking in the love surrounding him._ _

__The family ends up back home in the evening after several photos with everyone and a group lunch to celebrate. Hitoka is very sleepy and as such, she insists that one of them hold her at all times. At the moment, they’re sitting in the living room and she has her arms wrapped around his neck and her face buried in his neck, fighting sleep. Iwaizumi assumes that at some point her constant snuggling might become inconvenient, but for right now he can’t imagine anything he’d rather be doing. Oikawa is next to them on the couch, leaning against Iwaizumi’s shoulder, reading Hitoka’s favorite book out loud to them._ _

__Her breathing is even when Oikawa finishes reading and her eyelids flutter shut when Iwaizumi cards his fingers through her hair, still damp from her bath earlier in the evening. “You must be sleepy, Hitoka-chan,” Oikawa says, “today was a big day.”_ _

__“Mm,” Hitoka hums, gripping tightly on Iwaizumi’s dress shirt, rumpled and wrinkly from the day’s activity. “Good day.”_ _

__He laughs. “You had a good day, Hitoka-chan? We did too.”_ _

__“Papa, Daddy,” she murmurs, smiling, “love you.”_ _

__Iwaizumi’s heart twists for the millionth time since Hitoka came into his life. “We love you too, Hitoka, more than anything,” Oikawa says, smiling softly. She’s so tired that she struggles to keep smiling--her eyelids keep fluttering closed and her face relaxes into a soft pout. “Looks like it's time for you to go to sleep, baby.”_ _

__She snuggles even closer to Iwaizumi when he stands up to take her to her room, and his chest rumbles with contentment. They lay her down in her space-themed bedding and Oikawa tucks the stuffed hedgehog underneath her arm. Iwaizumi gives her a quick kiss on the forehead before he turns on a nightlight and leaves her to sleep in peace. Oikawa pulls him into a hug when they leave her room and he sinks into it, overwhelmed by emotion--in the best way._ _

__“She’s officially our daughter, Hajime,” Oikawa says, holding Iwaizumi’s face in his hands and rubbing his thumb along his jawline. “Can you believe it?”_ _

__“Barely,” Iwaizumi whispers, resting his forehead against Oikawa’s. Oikawa kisses him, slow and deep, and Iwaizumi pulls him close and pours every ounce of love he has into the kiss. Oikawa licks along his bottom lip, ever insatiable, and Iwaizumi sighs in exasperation. “Really, Hornykawa?”_ _

__“I can’t help it that you’re a DILF, Iwa-chan.”_ _

__Iwaizumi grabs Oikawa by his collar and kisses him again, passionately, and he feels Oikawa hum in satisfaction and melt against him. “We’re both DILFs, idiot.”_ _

__“True,” Oikawa laughs, pulling Iwaizumi into their bedroom. It’s a beautiful end to a beautiful day, and a perfect beginning to a new, beautiful life._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DILF Iwa for the win (still no proofreading)
> 
> This wasn't an original idea and I basically incorporated all of the usual Iwaoi tropes found in fics, but I still had fun writing it and I hope you had fun reading. I really appreciate everyone's comments and kudos as well. 
> 
> I might write more in this AU in the future, as there are a few things I might like to explore. If there's anything specific anyone wants to see, let me know and maybe I could consider incorporating it into a future fic 8-) 
> 
> Thank you for reading and be well!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer that I'm basing this fic off of the U.S. fostering process
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated :)


End file.
